2 questions from a new nursing mother

[Georgetown HB Mom]

Hi,

I have a couple of questions that I hope some more experienced breast feeding mom's can answer.

1. My baby is just over two weeks old. The last week or so in the late evening she will be fussy and act like she wants to nurse but she will nurse for a few minutes, pop off and then scream. And then she will shake her head, latch back on for a few minutes and then the cycle starts all over again. I am pretty sure she is getting enough milk so I am not sure what the problem is. All day long she is fine.

2. Nursing in public. I have been out twice since she was born. Both times just to eat dinner. I am having anxiety about having to nurse in public. I have put a blanket over us but I get hot really easily and by the end of it I am sweating and the baby is sweating. The second time we went to dinner and she had to nurse I just went out to the car. So, now I just don't want to leave the house. It feels like it is easier just to sit at home where I don't have to worry about offending people or worry that I am not properly covered etc. And it feels so awkward to put a blanket over us and try to keep the blanket from falling down etc. Are there any easier ways to nurse in public or am I going to be house bound for the next year?

Thanks,
Lisa

[alegna]

Those first few weeks are SO hard in every way. Things get easier I promise!

#1. the witching hour. very common phenomenon. I don't have any explanation except that lots of babies do it and it gets better in a couple of months. My dd was awful with that at that age.

#2. Practice try in front of a mirror without a blanket- most women show way less than it feels like. Personally I just nurse- I've never used a blanket and I nurse in public tons (at least twice at dinner just tonight, and my baby is nearly 2 now ) I have never had a single negative comment. Hold your head high and feed that baby.

-Angela

[chrissy.eew]

1. if it wasn't only restricted to nights, i'd say it sounds like you might have a fast let down.

2. i wear a thin cami under my shirts. pull your shirt up and the top of your cami down to nurse. that way you aren't really exposing any skin.

hope that makes sense...

[Georgetown HB Mom]

Originally Posted by alegna

Those first few weeks are SO hard in every way. Things get easier I promise!

#1. the witching hour. very common phenomenon. I don't have any explanation except that lots of babies do it and it gets better in a couple of months. My dd was awful with that at that age.

#2. Practice try in front of a mirror without a blanket- most women show way less than it feels like. Personally I just nurse- I've never used a blanket and I nurse in public tons (at least twice at dinner just tonight, and my baby is nearly 2 now ) I have never had a single negative comment. Hold your head high and feed that baby.

-Angela

Thank you for your response. As far as nursing in public what do you wear? I have two nursing tank tops and that is all as far as nursing clothes go. Do you just wear your normal clothing? I feel like with my nursing tank top I still show quite a bit especially when I am trying to get her latched on. I have a banquet to attend in two weeks and I am at a loss as to what to do. I don't want to leave the baby at home yet and I have tried pumping but I don't get very much out, maybe 0.5 ounces at a time so not enough to make a couple of bottles to take.

Lisa

[rparker]

#1. Your daughter may acting the particular way you describe because she is fussy and seeking the comfort of nursing, but her stomach is full so she doesn't really want a lot of milk... especially if she's fussy because she's gassy. You could try burping her and see if it helps, but I agree with Angela... evening is just a bad time for a lot of babies.

#2. I nursed my daughter in public frequently when she was a baby and I didn't use a blanket or "cover up," although I did sometimes like to hold a receiving blanket under my daughter to make sure that my stomach was covered. (I wasn't being particularly modest, just self conscious over postpartum baby belly.)

Wearing two shirts and having one of them be one that buttons or zips down the front helped me to feel less exposed because then I knew that my back and sides were covered. Some women feel more comfortable wearing special nursing tops that expose just one breast at a time. You can find these online or in stores like Motherhood Maternity. They're a little pricey, but having one or two might help while you get used to nursing in public.

Some women nurse their babies in a sling or baby carrier which can be very discreet if you're good at baby wearing

Some women who are very modest use a nursing cover like this (http://www.bebeaulait.com/) in order to feel comfortable nursing in public.

Sometimes it helps to just put a blanket or a cloth diaper over the baby's head while s/he is latching on and then remove it once your are both comfortable.

No matter how discreet/indiscreet you are most people will have absolutely no clue that you're breastfeeding your baby. It really isn't the greatest idea to completely cover a baby's head with a blanket while nursing because s/he can a) become overheated b) be forced to rebreathe a lot of their own CO2.

[buckeye_bebe]

Yep, its the witching hour. Good time to switch off to another person, or draw yourself and herself a bath. Good time to get some fresh air and just fight the fuss by letting it happen.

Don't worry about your modesty. Chances are you are all covered up. Just because you look down and see your own boobs doesn't mean other people do too And if you are really worried, invest in some good nursingwear and buy a "magic middle". They were invented by a lady here in Arizona. Its a cami with the top cut out so your tummy is always covered and you don't have to wear a nursing top over it, you can wear a regular shirt with a nursing bra because the magic middle does its magic.

It gets easier. I had a "rough" day at shopping yesterday, between the wind blowing my cover and my own incompetence, I had four nip-slips. But who cares. Some trucker saw a boob and now I have good karma for making his day.

Good luck, I'm rootin' for ya!

[Bokonon]

I agree with the PPs.

Another thing to keep in mind is that as your baby gets older (after about 8 weeks, but especially after 6 months), she will be able to go longer between feedings. So you could feed her at home, then go out to dinner and get back home before she needs another feeding.

[rparker]

Originally Posted by Bokonon

Another thing to keep in mind is that as your baby gets older (after about 8 weeks, but especially after 6 months), she will be able to go longer between feedings. So you could feed her at home, then go out to dinner and get back home before she needs another feeding.

This wasn't true of my daughter until she was at least 18 months old... of course by the time she was 6 months I was a total pro at nursing in public and didn't even think twice about it.

[spughy]

1) Probably the baby wants to nurse for comfort, but has a full tummy. You could *try* to hold her close and offer her your little finger, nail side down instead. (Make sure your nails are clipped short.) This might not work, because babies are smart and know darned well what's a boob and what's not, but it's worth a try.

2) Nursing in public is hard, but SO worth it once you're comfortable with it. You can go anywhere and do anything with your baby. Just remember that you have every right to feed your baby when and where you need to. Nursing tops (there are some great ones at www.milkface.com) are really good until you can get to the point where you just don't care. And, if it helps, remember that every time you nurse in public, you make breastfeeding that much more NORMAL for everyone who sees you, which will help breastfeeding rates in your area!

[Bokonon]

Originally Posted by rparker

This wasn't true of my daughter until she was at least 18 months old... of course by the time she was 6 months I was a total pro at nursing in public and didn't even think twice about it.

She wouldn't go 2 hours between feedings? Wowza! And I thought my baby nursed a lot!

[rparker]

Originally Posted by Bokonon

She wouldn't go 2 hours between feedings? Wowza! And I thought my baby nursed a lot!

She'd seldom go more than 90 minutes during the day and she really liked to nurse in restaurants when everyone else was eating, so in that situation it wouldn't matter if she had "just nursed." She was a big baby though and really slow to take to solid foods.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by Georgetown HB Mom

Thank you for your response. As far as nursing in public what do you wear? I have two nursing tank tops and that is all as far as nursing clothes go. Do you just wear your normal clothing? I feel like with my nursing tank top I still show quite a bit especially when I am trying to get her latched on. I have a banquet to attend in two weeks and I am at a loss as to what to do. I don't want to leave the baby at home yet and I have tried pumping but I don't get very much out, maybe 0.5 ounces at a time so not enough to make a couple of bottles to take.

Lisa

90% of the time I just wear regular clothes. The baby covers a lot

When I really want to be covered I wear a nursing tank under a regular top, then you really can't see anything.

Originally Posted by Bokonon

She wouldn't go 2 hours between feedings? Wowza! And I thought my baby nursed a lot!

Heh... my dd was 18 months or older before she went 2 hours between nursings while awake.

-Angela

[Asiago]

I have a bunch of nursing tanks and like them but are revealing to nurse in. I have found these Old Navy tops only show a sliver of skin (size down, they run big) : http://tinyurl.com/23ow57n

Also I have a nursing cover and my baby really dislikes it. An alternative is a long thin silk scarf, it just covers my breast and the baby's head. It's lightweight too.

Another idea is a sling, it conceals a lot too.

[staceychev]

If you have the money to spend, Motherwear makes some good nursing tops. Personally, I feel really exposed if I NIP with a nursing tank on. Asiago is right: they do show a lot, and I'm pretty well endowed, so it makes me uncomfortable. I prefer the tops that open from the bottom or the side.

I know that this isn't necessarily a popular sentiment on MDC, but I don't see what the problem is with wanting to be discreet. There are times when I'll use a blanket, not to cover the whole babe, but more to cover my fat! Once again, if you have the money to spend, the Aiden and Anais blankets are really nice, and they're thin and breathable, so not as sweat-inducing as others.

NIP is tough to start at first. It's hard to uncondition yourself after years of being told to keep yourself covered in public. The best thing to do is just to start doing it. The more you do it, the better you get at it, and the more comfortable you'll be.

Oh, and I agree with Angela that you're probably showing less than it feels like. Many times, I've had a stranger make a comment about how fast asleep my babe was on my lap, when really she was sucking away!

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by Georgetown HB Mom

1. My baby is just over two weeks old. The last week or so in the late evening she will be fussy and act like she wants to nurse but she will nurse for a few minutes, pop off and then scream. And then she will shake her head, latch back on for a few minutes and then the cycle starts all over again. I am pretty sure she is getting enough milk so I am not sure what the problem is. All day long she is fine.

My little one is almost 2 weeks old now and this describes our evenings EXACTLY! You are not alone.

As for nursing in public, I find that a good "this is normal so don't even think about bothering us" attitude goes a long way. For clothing, I'm still in the postpartum sweats/yoga gear phase, but on top I wear a long tank top over my nursing bra, pull up my t-shirt, down the bra and tank top and baby pretty well covers all my breast. That coupled with the attitude (helped along by the lack of sleep from the evenings you described above...) works for me!

[blessedwithboys]

Originally Posted by Georgetown HB Mom

It feels like it is easier just to sit at home where I don't have to worry about offending people

not your problem sweetie. if they dont want to see your baby eating, let them put a blanket over their own head!

[rachdoll]

Hi! Looks like lots of great advice, but I'll add my two cents, too!

Lauren went through a similar fussy-at-night stage. It stunk. Sounds like that's what's going on at your house, too. Hopefully it passes soon!

Practicing NIP will make it so much easier. Remember that you are just feeding your baby, nothing to be ashamed of (something to be proud of, actually!). After awhile it'll just be second nature and you won't even think twice. Can you practice around some loving friends? A La Leche League meeting is a great place to practice, too - I can meet you there if you'd like. Or we could meet for lunch somewhere in the middle.

And smile. I've never once had someone say something rude to me about NIP, but I always make sure I'm holding my head high, smiling at whoever may be looking. Well, not so much anymore, now I don't give a crap. ;-) But, when I would nurse Aubrey, I was very aware of always looking happy and saying hi to people before they could think about saying something rude.

Oh, and I just wear my normal clothes. But that kinda falls in line with my 'I don't give a crap' attitude. A tank under a tee is nice for extra coverage. A good nursing bra, helps, though - I feel like I'm less exposed if the bra is made for nursing, versus working my breast up, over and around the cup to get to baby.

[candelaria80]

I nurse in public constantly, but I use a cover. It is simply more comfortable for me. I like the BebeAuLait because the material is nice and light so we do not overheat. Also, the large viewing opening lets air in. In the last few months the cover also serves another purpose, it cuts down on the stimuli that causes DD to pop off every second to see what's going on (now if they only made baby ear plugs ).

[averlee]

I sometimes found my baby would fuss like you describe when she had extra-much burps to bring up. As soon as I felt the letdown, she would gulp air. I'd feed her a bit more upright or burp her every couple minutes, which seemed to help some.

Nursing in public- I've found most people really don't mind, even if some skin shows, even if some milk leaks. People love babies. I would often wear layers that open up different ways, but all the same color. I had a black nursing bra where the cups dropped down leaving the tops of my breasts exposed, then I'd wear a thin black tank top over that which I'd lift from the bottom, then over the top a black button-down blouse, which I'd leave all the way unbuttoned. A friend of mine cut big slits over the boob area of a few men's undershirts, and wore them over a nursing bra and under a tshirt, which worked really well for her. Sometimes I'd use a pretty scarf to cover up with, to help get a latch going, or to make the smushed & rumpled layers of clothing less obvious. But especially in restaurants, don't worry. People aren't looking at you anyway!

[MamaPhD]

I used Hooter Hider (=Bebe au lait) nursing cover. It's pretty, thin, and huge. Of course, as DD got bigger (5-6 mo?), she started to fight the cover, so often you will see DD's hand sticking out from the "viewing window" like a zombie or something, lol! As far as your feeling uncomfortable, I hope you will get over it soon! Nursing your baby is one of the most beautiful things! Most people won't even realize what you are doing, and people who know enough to notice are probably moms who's done the same anyway. If you act confident and natural about what you are doing, that's what other people will take from you!