Weekly Post-Partum thread, May 2-9

[jenfl]

Sprout is one month old! Amazing! We still haven't settled into any kind of routine, but bedtime and wake-up are roughly the same time each day, which is nice. Sleep still comes in 2-3 hour stretches, but it's fairly consistent.

After the incident with the doctor who wants $300 for an office visit, I took a day to feel sorry for myself and give up. Then I kicked back into gear and started lining up more help. I called a LLL leader I used to go to playgroup with, found a breastfeeding support meeting at the local hospital, and called for an appointment with a free infant feeding/swallowing clinic. I WILL fix this. I WILL enjoy a nice, relaxing, pain-free nursing session with my son.

Oh, this evening I started hearing noises in his throat after a feed like something was coming up and he was swallowing back down. It happened repeatedly for about 10 minutes, while he acted kind of uncomfortable, and then he fell asleep. Any ideas? Reflux?

[leavemealone]

for some reason my shift key isn't working today so i can't seem to make capital letters.

i sometimes feel like all i do is complain, but i just have to get this out. i am one week out and i am a total wreck today. i can't stop crying. i am on my own for the first time with the three boys today. one of my boys is sick. dh left for work. he said yesterday he'd give me a chance to get a shower but left before i could get one. i just want to go cry in the shower, but i can't b/c the boys are awake. i don't know if i will get a chance to do that later. mil was here last week but was close to no help at all. i still had to get meals ready for all the kids, keep the house reasonable, feed the baby, etc. i'm not even sure what she did. all that activity seems to have caused my bleeding to continue and/or get heavier. nursing during the day is ok, but night time isn't going too well. i can't sleep. i thought i would be looking forward to my mother coming to visit but now i am not b/c i know i'll go through the crying all over again when she leaves. we're also facing the fact we have to move from this house by the end of the month. not sure if we will stay local or leave the area. as much as i hate this area, part of me is sad to leave but part of me is so ready to leave. maybe it i hadn't just had a baby i would be better about it. i just need a day where i can take a long bath, cry, then take a long shower, cry, eat lots of chocolate, and repeat as necessary.

[triony]

Sandcastle I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. My MIL was here last week, and while she sounds more helpful than yours, she still didn't quite "get" that she was supposed to be here helping me. I know exactly what you mean about crying in the shower. I've done that quite a few times, and I only have the 1 baby here. You're only a week out, though, so I'm convinced this will all get better for you soon. Don't be discouraged about missing your mother when she leaves. You'll be in a whole new place by then.

I know I sound awfully sure of myself and chipper, especially for someone who is only a first time mom, but mornings are our "good time" around here! Plus, please feel free to complain as much as you want, we all know what you're going through!

s and happy vibes for you.

We're beginning week 3 here (Tobin turned 2 weeks yesterday) and while a lot is better, a lot is the same. Last night we had a "witching hour" FREE of WITCHING. It was amazing. My DH's cousin is in town and came over for dinner. He held the baby for 20 min while I finished making a salad. Tobin was GOOD for him. I fed Tobin during dinner (love nursing covers!!) and then Tobin just laid on the MyBrestFriend in my arms and cooed and looked around. For like 20 min. I was in shock.

[rhiOrion]

So the birth center suggested a chiropractor for L's latch issues as well as the fact that she seems to favor turning her head to the right and not the left.

I was doing to googling to see if "the internet" thought that it might be helpful, and I found this quote on some website somewhere:

"If your baby is clamping onto or biting the breast, refusing to nurse on one side, taking the breast “cross cradle” on one side and only “football” on the other, he or she is showing signs that the neck and jaw are not working properly"

Ummm, that is her EXACTLY. She bites on my nipple instead of sucking correctly, prefers my left breast, and way prefers that one cross cradle and if she's going to suck on the right one she prefers it to be football.

Hmmmmm. I think I shall make an appt. Anybody else used chiropractic for latch issues? Success or not?

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Jenf: Good luck. Sounds like you have a plan. No idea about the sound.

Sandcastle: (((HUGS)))) I totally feel your pain. Your babymoon looks like mine. My FIL was here the whole time dh was off work, and I guess they thought it was a break to leave with all the kids and go shopping I hope things get better.

AFM: Going into week three. Wowsers. I wish things were getting easier but they're just not. I'm exhausted, and am doing way too much but don't see how to slow down. Rowena is really sweet and not fussy at all but she only sleeps every two hours period, and sometimes at night only one hour before waking up with gas, needing to nurse, etc. I want to be able to sleep with her all day but just seem unable to do this...there's alway something, kids needing to be feed, someone coming to work on the house, work for the classes I'm teaching, something. I know I need to slow down and sleep or things will be bad so I'm working on it.

[dogretro]

Rhi, thank you so much for posting that about chiro!! That is also EXACTLY what A is doing! She takes the right mostly fine but will only latch okay on the left in football & her latch in general is weird. She kind of has a lazy suck where she will only suck once or twice & then want to re-latch. It is beyond annoying & I've actually given her bottles of bm so that I could have several hours to recover. I will be checking w/ my insurance today to see if chiro is covered (I need to go in, too).

Jen, I would absolutely mention that you suspect reflux at your next ped visit, esp if your baby is fussy for no apparent reason. The ped can sometimes hear acid coming up thru the stethoscope.

[rhiOrion]

Originally Posted by dogretro

Rhi, thank you so much for posting that about chiro!! That is also EXACTLY what A is doing! She takes the right mostly fine but will only latch okay on the left in football & her latch in general is weird. She kind of has a lazy suck where she will only suck once or twice & then want to re-latch. It is beyond annoying & I've actually given her bottles of bm so that I could have several hours to recover. I will be checking w/ my insurance today to see if chiro is covered (I need to go in, too).

Jen, I would absolutely mention that you suspect reflux at your next ped visit, esp if your baby is fussy for no apparent reason. The ped can sometimes hear acid coming up thru the stethoscope.

yay! Let's hope it's covered by your insurance and that it works well for both of us!

It was weird calling to make an appt for someone other than myself. I've never had to do that before!! Except for the dog and cat.

But she has an appt Thursday afternoon, so let's hope it helps some!

[crazyeight]

i never would have thought about the chiro for the nursing but it sounds like the right thing to do! i need to get to our chiro. he told me after my last adjustment to bring the baby in when i had him and he'll adjust the baby too! i can't wait to get some money this week and go. i can feel the elastic hormones leaving my body and i want to make sure i'm aligned before they are all gone!

gtg~ i can't believe you're back to teaching already. i was going to attempt class today (at 3 wks out) but decided spending time with BF was more important. so i'll try wed. on the one hand i was out and about doing things with all the kids at 3 days however i don't think anything has improved since then. i don't have more of a handle on anything, i don't feel a million times better, and i certainly still feel like i'm bumbling through it all.

HUGS sandcastle. its hard to be alone for the first time and it won't go according to plan....don't make a plan!

apparently we're going back and forth on good days and bad days. ok not BAD days but fussier days. there were 2 days of fussy then all the sudden a great day then a mediocre day then it was a harder day yesterday...i'm hoping for an easier day today, hard day tomorrow so that wed is an easy day.

R is such a lover! sometimes i can just tell that all he wants is to be safe from the world. he still hates the swing but i had to put him down to do the kids shower and bed stuff yesterday. i had the swing on and he was screaming. i turned it off and tried to give him the paci and he grabbed my finger and sucked on the paci but if he lost my finger he would start screaming again. it was the same way he sucked on the paci when he was getting his iv. he seems to need more touching than my other kids and it's hard for me to do. i am so used to being solitary and quiet that i can't sit there and just talk and hold him all the time without feeling anxious or burnt out.

[smeisnotapirate]

Chiros are amazing for babies! I hope you get results.

Still doing well over here. DD is so cool. I'm realizing that she is a constant nurser because she has a powerful need to suck, and for now that's ok with me, but I'm debating paci benefits and drawbacks. Any thoughts?

[justamama]

Rhi, I hope the chiropractor helps L latch better!

Sara, Lucy has a big need to suck as well. She rarely takes a paci, but will in the car or sling. So if she'll take it and I'm in need of a break, we use it. Everything in moderation, right?

[Oliver's Mama]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

Chiros are amazing for babies! I hope you get results.

Still doing well over here. DD is so cool. I'm realizing that she is a constant nurser because she has a powerful need to suck, and for now that's ok with me, but I'm debating paci benefits and drawbacks. Any thoughts?

Before kids I was anti-paci.. I think seeing preschoolers out in public with them is what scared me. But during the first night with ds1, we caved, and haven't turned back. He literally sucked for 4+ hours non-stop, and when I'd try to give my nipples a rest, dh's pinkie would fill in, but 2 hours of his finger being sucked with no slowing down was not going well!
You kinda have to weigh the benefits of your sanity with the drawbacks of a pacifier, I guess. I really needed a break, and I knew he wasn't doing it for hunger, so I didn't feel like I was depriving him. We introduced one to ds2.. he's not as desperate a sucker, but for him it's a helpful way to be soothed to sleep, then he'll spit it out.

Ironically, it actually helped our latching problems. when he was latching poorly, my nipple looked like one of those orthodontic nipples that is angled, so I bought a paci that was nice and round- how I wanted my nipple to look again- and I guess it kinda helped train his tongue to get into place, because it was an instant help.

[Carita]

i want to take mine - i need a referral though and i'm wondering if the doc will think i am crazy. i am doing it mostly for preventative. DS has some issue in his neck that he has had to have adjusted at least 2x/year, and I hear babies respond faster so you should try to get them in early. My chiro recommends a visit at each new stage - newborn, crawler, walker. Heck I need a chiro appt.

2.5 weeks out, still swollen, still uncomfortable, but not in painful pain.

latch - i mentioned chiro before - she is still swallowing lots of air. the latch isn't painful anymore, but she does lots of smacking and big gulps and i have to hold my nipple between my fingers, like I'm cutting it with make believe scissors to help her keep her latch. all the air makes her puke if i don't burp her enough, and she'll only burp properly if i stand and jiggle her and pat her back at the same time. whew!

for those whose dads are back to work ((hugs)) - dh has been doing a combo of sahd, wahd, wohd & the days he woh, my mom has been able to take my son for the day. IDK what i would do without his help! you are brave mamas!

for those dealing with unhelpful visitors - ((hugs)) btdt, so glad its over *sigh*

[ivymae]

Originally Posted by jenfl

I WILL fix this. I WILL enjoy a nice, relaxing, pain-free nursing session with my son.

Yes you WILL.

Originally Posted by sandcastle

i sometimes feel like all i do is complain, but i just have to get this out. i am one week out and i am a total wreck today. ...... i just need a day where i can take a long bath, cry, then take a long shower, cry, eat lots of chocolate, and repeat as necessary.

You totally deserve that day.

Originally Posted by rhiOrion

So the birth center suggested a chiropractor for L's latch issues as well as the fact that she seems to favor turning her head to the right and not the left.

Chiro AND cranial sacral are wonderful for babies. I've taken my girls to cranial sacral for the last few years, and had someone work on Becky before she was 24 hours old (and again once a week for the first month). Since she came out twisted and wrapped up in her cord, with a fist pressed up against her skull, she had a lot of kinks to work out. Since baby sessions tend to be shorter they tend to be cheaper as well.

Originally Posted by GreenTeaGinger61

...there's alway something, kids needing to be feed, someone coming to work on the house, work for the classes I'm teaching, something. I know I need to slow down and sleep or things will be bad so I'm working on it.

Wowsers is right. I remind myself sometimes that pioneer women never got to slow down or they all starved... and then i remember that their life expectancy was 40, and i make a cup of tea and lock myself in the bathroom.

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

I'm debating paci benefits and drawbacks. Any thoughts?

Becky gets so frustrated that there is milk coming out of the nipple after a while, but just keeps sucking, and eventually throws up. It also doesn't help the oversupply for her always to be sucking, but she refuses a paci and I get tired of fighting with her, so she ends up eating and puking a few times a day.

[Knitting Mama]

I wish Cecilia would take a paci and sleep longer than 5 minutes in the swing! Both are impossible.

[jsh7809]

DD will only take a pacifier if I trick her by swapping out the boob and then leaving the pacifier scrunched up against the boob so she still thinks she's going for it. I do this in the evenings when she's letting all of the milk run out of her mouth but still wants to nurse CONSTANTLY. Last night we had two huge, huge spit ups. Lots of changing and sponge bathing but combine that with my incredibly strong let down (the supply of milk in general seems to be letting up a bit, but that let down still comes like a firehose!) and no matter what I do, baby and everything we own are starting to smell a lot like buttermilk/ seaweed. Ugh. Cannot wait for this umbilical cord to finally come off (it's hanging by a thread!!) so we can get a good real bath together.
Today is DH's first day back at work and so far it's gone better than I thought. DD and I stayed in bed till 9 although a lot of the post-sunrise time was spent mostly awake or grunting or nursing lying down. I love nursing lying down but, again, get everything drenched. I'm realizing breastmilk stains and stinks
I feel like I'm getting a bit of a break when I put her in the Moby or sling and that is wonderful. DH still sometimes struggles to comfort her but I'm trying to take that as a compliment that she only wants to be with me... no wonder I'm exhausted.
So, here's a question: after watching the Happiest Baby on the Block, DH is a master at swaddling and soothing her. So now he wants to do that like 10 times a day. And I pop her in the sling or tight moby wrap several times a day, too. And she sleeps swaddled. I try to mix it up with some tummy time, etc., but is it possible to be swaddled too much??

Also, the cosleeper is starting to make it so that my back and sides are SO painful every morning. I have it a little lower towards my stomach than up by my head so that I can have a teeny bedside table but scooping her in and out several times a night is starting to really tweak my body. I'm thinking about moving it into a bassinet a few feet away from the bed... which astounds me, because I never thought we'd even get her to sleep in the cosleeper at all and she's pretty much fine with it!!

Hugs to Jenfl and sandcastle and everyone who is struggling. I am still feeling exhausted and occasionally terrified but a little more optimistic than I was even two days ago. What a rollercoaster!

[smeisnotapirate]

Jess, with the lay-down nursing, get some wool pads (or cut up some old wool sweaters) and put the pad into a pillowcase and lay and nurse on that. It'll save your sheets and then you just rinse out the wool (or not) and switch for a clean pillowcase.

I don't count sling time as swaddled time (and remember that if baby is upright in the sling, it counts as "tummy time"), but I also don't think that baby can be swaddled too much - they outgrow it so quickly, and as long as they're held and comfy, what's the harm?

Glad to hear that today is going better than you thought!

to those who need them.

[rhiOrion]

DH woke up this morning and commented on how smooth last night went (to be fair, he slept through the hour I was up walking around with the baby).

May he never say that again! He jinxed me.

I've had a crying sad baby all day. Blah.

She's been spitting up more than usual for the past day, and has seemed pretty gassy. Mylicon seems to be helping, at least. It just feels so weird to put anything in her mouth that isn't breastmilk.

[sew_crafty_girl]

Rhi, I felt the same way. It felt kinda wrong the first time I gave her gas drops.

[LenaC]

Sara, I so wish Leon took the pacifier! I only hesitated like the first two days, and then when DH decided to try it, I was so hoping it would work. But nope, my babies just like to suck on my nipples, I guess. I think daddy’s finger worked a couple of times, but not lately. Back to the boob it is! Thankfully, he doses off fairly quickly, when he is not hungry, so he just sleeps next to my breast. Of course, he wakes up often too, but it gives me enough time to rest up.

Babywearing and stuff: Speaking of falling asleep on the boob, I put baby in my Maya RS and breastfeed. He falls asleep even quicker than usual, being all bunched up, and then I can walk around and do things hands free for a while. Now if only that thing would stop hurting my back. I would use my wrap, but for some reason, I just don’t like how stretchy the Moby is. It feels more comfortable to have fabric without a stretch. Loreen from Frog Mama showed me how to use my Beco Butterfly, and it turns out I was doing it totally wrong. First of all, Leon is way too tall for infant insert, and second, I tried to put his legs out of the carrier, like with my old Bjorn, but baby is more comfy with legs inside. I’m really looking forward to our first walk. I can’t believe I haven’t gone walking yet! First week I was in too much pain and then this week, DS got sick, resulting in even more sleep deprivation. Now Leon is coughing and sounds congested. I told DH last night that babies are not supposed to snort like little piggies. It’s pathetic! Oh, and the projectile vomiting, it goes all over the place and it looks like two full feedings. Anyway, once everyone is well again, I’m really looking forward to some walks!

DH didn’t end up taking any time off and went to work the day after baby was born. My mom spent some time with me in the hospital and left the following morning because she also had to go back to teaching. We are living with our MIL and I can really relate to people getting irritated with their MILs. I was in so much pain, and she was absolutely no help at all. She made a bit of effort later on, like asking me if I wanted to eat something (not that she ever fixed something to bring to me) and she even changed DS’s diaper and put his shoes on. She NEVER does that. Mostly, I just felt like people were completely no help, and those who came to visit, NOBODY brought food for me. *Sniff* I felt it was incredibly unfair, but now I’m over it, since I can do things for myself and pain is all gone. I also appreciate MIL and SIL taking my toddler out of the house. I get a huge break while he is not here.

Oh, thank goodness for the swing! I love that thing SOOO much. It took a few tries, but now Leon will nap in there. Like today I was gone for forty minutes, and when I got back, he was still sleeping in the swing! It figures, he’d be easy when DH is home Although, he has been sleeping in there for the past twenty minutes, which allowed me to have lunch and type this long post! Yay the swing!

[smeisnotapirate]

Just posting a vent: I have a friend who is having her first baby - she went to the doctor because she's been having lots of prodromal stuff, and was told she was in early labor! Yay! So she's been running around trying to get this baby out and really kick labor into gear. I ask what her stats were - she's at 2cm, with contractions 5-10 minutes apart. She thinks she's been "in labor" for 9 hours already, and is getting exhausted. She also refuses to slow down or kick her (adopted) kids out of the house for a while so she can rest ("But sleeping slows the contractions down!"). Ugh. I just hope this isn't a long labor - she's going to be a wreck if it goes longer than 24 hours because she was told by her doctor that they wouldn't let it happen.

</vent>

Thanks.

Meanwhile, it's a lovely day, my mom went home but my fabulous MIL is in, and I have a girl from our synagogue who is coming over with a bag of baby stuff. Awesomeness!

Thanks for the input on the paci - Naomi was ok with it, though it didn't really stay in her mouth *surprise*, and I guess I was just a bit thrown off. I definitely don't want to have a toddler with a paci in.