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Weekly Post-Partum thread, May 2-9 - Page 2

post #21 of 135
Thread Starter 
Re: paci -- I actually tried to give Sprout one today, when we were stuck in traffic on the highway and he was screaming. No luck.

Re: swing -- He hates it! It's so frustrating -- sometimes I just need to put him down, you know? Like when I'm trying to do my daughter's bath and nighttime routine by myself. Last night Sprout screamed through both of the books I read to her so loudly that I doubt she heard them -- and that was in my arms!

dogretro -- Is your LO dropping their latch every suck or two? That's what Sprout is doing, and I've been trying endlessly to find some reason and way to fix it.

AFM -- Went to the free pediatric feeding clinic and met with a therapist today with regards to Sprout dropping his latch constantly. She checked his oral-motor stuff and said it was all fine (suck, tongue movement, etc). She watched us nurse and pointed out that he doesn't get frustrated when he drops his latch, like most kids she sees. She feels that he's choosing to drop the latch for some reason.

We talked it out, and her best guess is that those early days, when Sprout had his rapid breathing, he was breathing too fast for suck-swallow-breathe and so had to stop and take a breath. Now it's just a habit. There's no way to know for sure if that's right, but it's the most reasonable thing anyone has come up with so far. The hard part is that if it is the case, there's no easy fix.

Right now I'm trying classical conditioning. I'm trying to make it less pleasant for him if he drops his latch. So instead of immediately re-latching him, I'm pulling my breast away for 10 seconds. He doesn't get frantic, but he does seem to notice. Maybe it'll convince him to stay on.

I'll give that a shot for a little while and see if we get anywhere. The problem is that if this is something he's doing for a reason that he can't helped, then it's going to be endlessly frustrating. That's why I'm going to make sure he isn't getting too frustrated, and quit if that starts happening.
post #22 of 135
So after my chipper and good mood post this morning, the usual happened. When DH gets home, I get so ANXIOUS. I feel like nothing will ever be the same, that I have years of trouble ahead of me, that LO will never be happy. Ugh. Why is that? Every night without fail I just fall apart mentally. I hate feeling like this. Even if the day goes perfectly. Poor DH has to deal with my unhappiness, the witching hour, all when he gets home from work. I want so desperately to make it a fun happy time for him to play with baby when he gets home. Sometimes the only thing that will make LO happy is the boob. Constantly. I feel like that's not fair to DH. I know this only lasts a little while, and i need to enjoy this newborn time.
I'm not an anxious person by nature. (I think) I HATE these evening feelings....
post #23 of 135
I don't want to jinx anything but things are pretty good. Sure, she wants to eat quite often, but I think we're still in the midst of a growth spurt. Some evenings have fussiness, some don't. She often naps for an hour at a time, in the swing or basinette. I have no idea how many times I'm nursing during the night but I think it's about 3.

I haven't been overly tired. My stitches are healed. Flow is light. My butt is still numb when I wipe, but I'm sure it'll get better with kegels.

Tonight my cousin came by for a photo shoot. We had to pause and nurse 3 seperate times, but I think we got some cute shots. Surprisingly she was happiest on her tummy. My cousin noticed that her abs are seperated, just like her sons' are. I'll have to mention that to the midiwfe. I know it looked wierd, but wasn't sure if that was a normal baby thing or not. I also need to ask if she thinks I should visit the Chiro for Anna's hip.

I've also got a baby who won't suck on anything but my nipple.
post #24 of 135
Quote:
Originally Posted by sew_crafty_girl View Post
My cousin noticed that her abs are seperated, just like her sons' are. I'll have to mention that to the midiwfe. I know it looked wierd, but wasn't sure if that was a normal baby thing or not.
The nurse who did our home visit said it was normal.
post #25 of 135
Danielle: I'm not really teaching per se. I went in to do evaluations and wrap up my classes. I'll go in again to collect finals. I have been doing notes on line, answering forum discussions, and grading. Not fun but not like I have to be there either.

Ivy: Thanks for the hug. I always think that about pioneer women too. And I know it happens for women in most indigenous cultures as well...and yeah I want to live beyond 40 so I'm going to rest

Pacifiers: Oh yeah we have them and use them. Luckily Rowena does take it because she would suck me raw if she could. I don't ever use it but dh does when he holds her, and we use it in the car. I don't even have a swing. None of my kids liked it. I do have a bouncy seat a friend loaned me and she tolerates it if she's sleeping. Doesn't much like it when she's awake checking stuff out.

Oh and car...the music that soothes her? The Smiths. She really really likes Morrisseuy's fasletto voice esp. "This Charming Man."

I had a much better day today. Did some "school" with the kids. I love them...I introduce them to a topic or idea and they just fly with it. We spent an hour taking virtual tours of the Nile. Lots of fun. And then the two oldest wrote a story about Rowena's birth. I made two meals for the week partially wearing the baby. Dh held her while I made the second. And I took a nap...so nice. Tomorrow I think we might head out for a park day with a new homeschooling group. I don't think the group is going to end up being a good fit but it's at a park that is very close to us.
post #26 of 135
Quote:
Originally Posted by triony View Post
So after my chipper and good mood post this morning, the usual happened. When DH gets home, I get so ANXIOUS. I feel like nothing will ever be the same, that I have years of trouble ahead of me, that LO will never be happy. Ugh. Why is that? Every night without fail I just fall apart mentally. I hate feeling like this. Even if the day goes perfectly. Poor DH has to deal with my unhappiness, the witching hour, all when he gets home from work. I want so desperately to make it a fun happy time for him to play with baby when he gets home. Sometimes the only thing that will make LO happy is the boob. Constantly. I feel like that's not fair to DH. I know this only lasts a little while, and i need to enjoy this newborn time.
I'm not an anxious person by nature. (I think) I HATE these evening feelings....
I remember feeling exactly this way when DD was a little baby. I think Dh even dreaded coming home, a little, because every night he was coming home to a baby who cried for two hours and a wife who was frazzled and unhappy. Now that we've been through it once, it helps a LOT to know that it will end-- someday, your Dh will come home to a calm child and a calm wife; you'll all eat dinner together, talk about your day, read the child a bedtime story, and he'll go to sleep on his own. The first time DD did this (around 2.5), I felt like we had crossed a major parenting milestone. Anyway, all that is to say that it gets better, and however you can survive these early months (even if that means that baby spends most of him time nursing rather than playing with Dh in the evening, or whatever), you have to just do it to keep your sanity. You're not causing it-- it's just the way most babies are.

Pacifier: Ds uses one in the car. I promised myself when I bought it that I would never use it outside of the car ("the only place I really can't nurse"), but I'm considering having one inside for Dh to use. I think having a tool he can use to soothe the baby would be helpful for him.

Sme, that is a great idea about the wool in the pillowcase. I definitely need to try that.
post #27 of 135
I am having a better day today. I was able to nurse lying down so I actually got a little bit of sleep last night.

Re: pacifiers - only two of my kids so far have taken a pacifier. My oldest was addicted to her binky. She didn't want to give it up until I flat out took it away shortly after she turned two. She didn't necessarily have it in all the time, but she was one who had it attached to her clothes when she didn't have it in. Our second child didn't want a binky at all. Nothing worked and he never took one. Our third child took one for a while and then gave it up on his own. He's about 17 months now and only uses it at nap and bedtime. Occasionally he'll want his binky when he isn't feeling well, but not often. We tell him it's his "bedtime binky" when we get him from his crib and he'll usually drop it in his crib.
post #28 of 135
I think we're going through the 6 week growth spurt here (even though he's only 5 weeks) - he had established a nice sleeping pattern last week with fairly consistent feedings during the day, and I feel like that's been thrown out the window the past two days. Last night I felt like I was up every hour feeding him, and he would start screaming at the breast after it had been emptied, like he was still hungry. I know it's normal (or at least I hope it is!) and that my supply will increase in response, but it is so stressful and frustrating...like I'm unable to meet his basic needs.

For those veteran mamas: how long do these spurts usually last? Is there anything I should be doing (other than staying hydrated) to make sure my supply adjusts?
post #29 of 135
Jen, I watched A all day yesterday during feedings & it looks like most of her latch problems can be traced back to when I am full. I pump to empty in the morning after she eats & this keeps me nice and floppy throughout the day. During the night she goes longer between feedings & I get pretty full, so it seems that it is just harder for her to latch on. She kind of clamps down & then her suck is not correct; her whole lower jaw clicks back and forth across my areola instead of massaging it w/ her tongue. If I hold her lower jaw w/ my finger, that keeps her mouth open wide enough to fix it. She will suck once or twice before let down & then unlatch. She will do this over and over again, sometimes crying, until she either gives up or the milk comes out. This is all only during the night or morning feeding & it is beyond annoying. If she would just keep sucking, problem solved! I did not call the chiro yesterday since the problem is not present really during the day (I was able to cross cradle feed on the left), but I do want to take her in anyway.

Suzie, here is some info on growth spurts and sleep regressions: http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006...t_are_sle.html
post #30 of 135
Quote:
Originally Posted by triony View Post
So after my chipper and good mood post this morning, the usual happened. When DH gets home, I get so ANXIOUS. I feel like nothing will ever be the same, that I have years of trouble ahead of me, that LO will never be happy. Ugh. Why is that? Every night without fail I just fall apart mentally. I hate feeling like this. Even if the day goes perfectly. Poor DH has to deal with my unhappiness, the witching hour, all when he gets home from work. I want so desperately to make it a fun happy time for him to play with baby when he gets home. Sometimes the only thing that will make LO happy is the boob. Constantly. I feel like that's not fair to DH. I know this only lasts a little while, and i need to enjoy this newborn time.
I'm not an anxious person by nature. (I think) I HATE these evening feelings....
Triony, I"m so sorry, this is a LOT like I was feeling for the first week (and I see we delivered the same day!) but mine has eased off a bit, mostly from talking with other moms, my midwife, my doula, and anyone who will listen. I think my anxiety was mostly coming from a scary situation post-delivery (emergency operation) but it would surface in these really physical feelings and flashbacky nightmares whenever I would try to get some rest. IF I tried to nap, it was even worse, since I would wake up in a panic thinking that I lost the baby (when she was in the living room with DH).
But I can already see how hard it will be when our DHs come home tired from work and they're not getting enough rest either, and baby is fussy pants from the awful witching hour AND the moms are exhausted and at that "can't do this for another second" wall...
So I don't have a lot of advice but wanted you to know you are not alone! It will get better, and your feelings are normal!
I would call your doctor/ midwife or anyone you can think of. I know that taking Calms Forte homeopathic tabs helped me get a better rest but it's tough because you can only rest when the babe rests. I've also found that even 10-20 minutes baby free in the evenings retrieves me from that "I give up, this is awful" place and gets me some time to breathe and recoup. Maybe you and DH can have an agreement for a certain amount of time you can have to yourself each evening? Then maybe that will help relieve your anxiousness about sticking him with the baby, but also buy you some alone time?
Hugs...
RE: pioneer times. I keep thinking stuff like this too, like, "they didn't have battery powered chairs and swings in the old days", "they didn't use pacifiers in the old days", etc... then I think about how they would use a rag soaked in whiskey as a pacifier, and i feel better!!

2 questions:

-baby is doing tons of these "entire-contents-of-stomach" spit ups, like 3 in the last 15 hours. She's not in any pain or anything but it is gross gross gross and a big drag every time. I know that it just comes with the territory, but since it seems to coincide with those hours that she cries unless I nurse her almost continually, I'm thinking maybe she's overdoing it? She hates the pacifier unless things are just right and I can trick her to think it's the boob (only done when she is obviously letting all of the milk roll out of her mouth). Any advice?
-also, all of the cloth diapers/ towels/ rags/ etc that I am using to sop up the overflow of breastmilk is starting to stink... even after washing. We use all natural scent-free detergent, but lots of hot water. DH wants to use bleach but I say NO. Any other recommendations so all of our clothes, etc., don't smell like seaweed and buttermilk? Vinegar in the wash maybe?
post #31 of 135
I agree with Jess to try to get a few minutes to yourself each night if possible.

Mine is that I feed L really well and pass her off to DH, then I go get in the bath. I've had a bath every single night since she was born almost a month(!) ago. That 15-30 minutes (depending if I take a shower after) is a life saver.

My own personal emotional issue right now is feeling a bit sad about her birth. I didn't think I would because of the whole "the important thing is that you had a healthy baby" thing. Actually, it's not even her birth that is bothering me. It's the fact that I was induced and didn't get to experience that whole "when am I going to go into labor?!" thing. I see everyone still on the island and although I wouldn't want to be 42 weeks pregnant, I'm a bit jealous! I wanted that whole "is it time?" thing. And of course I wanted to go to the birth center, and to not have 27 hours of pitocin induced labor, but it's the way labor was forced to start that is bothering me. Especially because Cholestasis of Pregnancy has about a 60-90% recurrence rate, and frequently earlier in the pregnancy. So that means I have a good chance of ending up with a 37 week induction next time, instead of the 40 week induction I had this time. I think I'd be feeling better about things if I could say, "well, if I have more kids I can experience the onset of labor like I imagined." But I can't say that!

I'm not horribly depressed about it or anything, but I feel like people IRL wouldn't get it, ya know? It just makes me a little sad.
post #32 of 135
Um, this baby isn't even 6 weeks and he's acting like he's a two year old- in terms of only taking one nap a day!! (well, ds1 dropped napping before he was 2.. so this isn't looking hopeful). Seriously, he's up and awake for the day around 7, then naps for a few hours in the early afternoon, and goes to sleep around 7 or 8. (usually gets up for a while later at night when dh comes home). Is anyone else's baby up for 9 or 10 hours a day-not counting night feedings? I don't remember ds1 being awake this much till he was like 9 months..
post #33 of 135
Rhi, I feel like we have parallel lives or babies or something! I have been doing exactly the same thing with the bath each night, which was really hard at first because I could sometimes hear her cry, or DH would panic and go "she's hungry you have to get out!". AFter he learned to swaddle her and realized doing so would allow him to keep playing video games we were pretty much all good for 20-30 minutes per evening. The bath is a HUGE help to me, it makes me relax in a way naps can't.
And I too have started feeling sad about my birth - unlike you, I wasn't induced, but I came damn close to it (only avoided it by going into labor on the day they wanted to induce). I can tell you that you did NOT miss anything but lots of stress and tears and discomfort (and probably stretch marks, LOL) by not going 2 weeks overdue. I never realized how awful that could be but it really stressed me out, no matter how I tried to keep my sense of humor. And trying everything to induce on my own (like you did) made it more frustrating, esp. because then I had contractions every night for a week but that initial "is it time??!" excitement just gave in to exhaustion and frustration.
But I know, the grass is always greener, and one of the reasons I wanted so badly to avoid induction was so I could start off at home on my own, like you say. And I am really glad to have gotten that time, for sure!
I find that the further away the birth is, the more I feel like, man, I should have kept laboring somehow and not gotten the epidural (even though I had no question that it was the right choice for me at the time, and probably helped us to avoid a C section or at the least an episiotomy). DD was separated from me right after birth due to meconium and that still breaks my heart, especially when I hear friends talk about "the moment I saw her face" etc. Well, when I saw her face they were pumping her tiny stomach and then I didn't get to see her again for a half hour, and THEN I was in such bad pain due to my hemotoma that I couldn't see, and then I had emergency surgery!
It all sometimes is so sad to me... not only did I not have the natural birth I wanted, but there were big complications afterwards and it was terrifying. I will never know (unless we have more kids, which we haven't ever wanted to) what it's like to have a 100% natural labor, normal post-birth bonding time, or normal postpartum healing.
But then again, I can't really regret anything. If I didn't have the epidural when I did, I don't know if I couldn't kept going without becoming more exhausted and more dehydrated (I couldn't stop vomiting), and I doubt I couldn't pushed her out so quickly. Since we were in a hospital, and her heartrate was dropping dramatically (the doula confirmed that it was lower than normal, it wasn't just the doctor) they were getting ready to "help things along" but the rest I got gave me the power to push her out on my own and it felt AMAZING and powerful. It was awful that she had to be taken from me right away, but we are totally and completely bonded and she latched on right away once we were reunited.
My surgery was a huge bummer but it was to take care of the most painful experience I have ever had, and if I had delivered in the birth center or at home like I wanted to, we would have all been rushed to the hospital anyway. I can't even imagine having to do that in the amount of pain I was in.

Sorry for going off - my point is, it totally sucks in some ways. But it was amazing in others. I will always be jealous of some birth stories but of course I would do it all again a million times over for this little one - and I'm not really the martyr sort . I just know she was worth it.
/ramble!
post #34 of 135
Suzie, my DS did 2 weeks or so (never more than that) of miserable and then back to sweet baby.

Jess, with the spitting up - have you tried nursing with her ABOVE your nipple? That makes the flow of breastmilk work against gravity and they don't get as much when they suck. If you have the feeling that she's getting too much, it might help you fill her need for suckling without making her spit up.

With the diapers, add vinegar and sun-bleach. It should go away.
post #35 of 135
Two major victories for us - we went for a walk with baby in Beco Butterfly and we slept through the night!! Weee! I think we went to sleep at 11:30pm and I only remember waking up at 6:30am. Of course, I'm pretty used to not waking up all the way to stick boob in baby's mouth from co-sleeping with DS, but still! DH seemed to be feeling a lot better this morning too and he actually looked energized, when he left to go to the gym this morning. Functioning like a normal person makes me feel...well, like a normal person.

Oliver's Mama, oh no, you got a baby, who doesn't like to sleep. My first was the same way! It gets a little better as time goes by and he slept fairly well at night. He just didn't like sleeping during the day AT ALL! Swing really helped for soothing him, as well as walks outside, etc. Unfortunately, he also wasn't very calm, when he was awake, mostly wanting to be soothed on the boob, and there were screaming feats because he got so fussy and frustrated. Anyhow, I hope your babe is at least calm, when he is awake. Count yourself lucky, if he is.
post #36 of 135
Rhi, all my kids see our chiropractor regularly. Chiropractic has been amazing for them. Dd2 particularly is a changed child after an adjustment. I would highly recommend it. Dd1 and dd2 love it now, and will tell me when the need to be adjusted.

Rhi and Jess I can totally sympathize. I felt much the same way after my first birth. Although I did go into labor on my own and we had a natural birth, dd1 was born with severe meconium aspiration, was taken from me to the hospital immediately, and I didn't even get to see her until hours later, by which time she was in a drug-induced coma and on a respirator. Our story eventually had a happy ending, but we felt robbed of those first precious moments/days/weeks of her life, and we had no idea if we would ever have more children. I also questioned a lot of the decision we had made - not to induce, to have a home birth, etc., and whether different decisions would have made a difference in the outcome of the birth. It took me a couple of years to resolve the feelings I had surrounding her birth, and to deal with the PTSD/PPD I was left with. I would strongly recommend both talk therapy and cranio-sacral work, both helped me to move on and accept what had happened. Rhi, I can say that, after experiencing inductions with my second and third births, the knowing when you are going into labor vs. wondering does take some of the fun out of it, but not a ton. Yeah, I still wonder what it would have been like to labor at home more, and to really have had that last minute drive to the hospital, but on the other hand, being able to plan things and have the kids off with Grandma without wondering if we would make it in time was kinda nice too. And, as Jess pointed out, there is a lot of stress in going past dates - at least there was for me with dd1.

Pacifiers - I see them as a useful tool to help mom from getting to burned out. With dd1 I wouldn't use one (and she wouldn't take it anyway) and the hours and hours and HOURS of nursing (literally, four or five at a go) wore me out completely. I started dd2 on a paci early, and found my composure and sanity were much better when I was not the only source of comfort for my child. The twins get them too, now, when Mama wears out. Dd2 is having issues giving up the paci now, which of course has been the drawback. If I had it to do all over again (oh wait, I do! ) I would do as Sandcastle has, and start telling them around 17 or 18 months that the paci is for bedtime or sleeptime only. That is what dd2 is limited to now. Once she has adjusted to her new sisters we will work harder on getting the paci to go away completely. Either that or she will bite through the remaining two in the house and we will just not buy new ones.

Swings - dd2 never liked hers, so I got rid of it and didn't plan to replace it. But a friend of mine gave me her two swings when her second child outgrew them - they are far more high end than the one I had for dd2, and the twins seem ok with them. I am more squidged out by seeing a machine rock my babies than anything though, so I rarely use them, but the do come in handy once in a while. I am more apt to use the bouncy seat - both of them fit in there together and seem to actually like snugging in with each other. Plus, they are so stinking cute when they are all snuggled in.

AFM I am siiiiick. *whine* I think I got dd2's cold. And if so, no wonder the poor little girl has been so cranky - this thing comes with body aches and a horrible sore throat. Boo. But I got my back adjusted today, which should help. And got the babies adjusted too, which I am hoping helps with Maya's nighttime gas attacks. She goes off from 11 p.m. to 1 a.m. every night. It is a bit brutal, considering they then wake up at least twice more to nurse and everyone has to get up by 7:30. Thank God for coffee. AND, dh called in sick to work (he is dealing with some horrid allergies himself) so we both got some extra rest today, which has been nice. I realized how much I miss him - between work and school I haven't actually SEEN much of him since the twins were born. Otoh, it is nice that I do miss him - there have been a few times in the course of our marriage when I was more relieved that he was busy.
post #37 of 135
I forgot to wear breastpads to target today. Yeahhhhh... I ended up buying a jacket. Awesome.

I did buy two pair of pants though. Pants with BUTTONS. A good friend of mine just found out she's pregnant again (with her third in four years, because apparently I made it look easy? heh Bonus that she has two teenage step sons, so it's her 5th as well) and i'm weeding out all my maternity clothes for hers, so i had to buck up and stop wearing elastic waisted clothes. I'm not impressed with my new shape, but trying to be patient. Hopefully breastfeeding will burn off the lbs like it did with DD1 (I was not so lucky after DD2 was born). I'm technically at my prepregnancy weight, but I kind of doubt my hips will ever go back.
post #38 of 135
Thread Starter 
Today was Sprout's first time at Disney World! Hey, it's a milestone for us. It was DD's 3rd birthday, so we spent the day in the Magic Kingdom letting her lead the way. It was wicked hot and sunny, so Sprout spent most of the time tucked up in the Beco on DH's chest. We just had to sunscreen the parts of his arms and legs that peeked out a bit. His first-ever ride was The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

I'm having a bad day, breastfeeding-wise. I've been trying the classical conditioning method to try to get him to stay on (keeping him off the breast for 10 seconds each time he falls off) for 24 hours. It doesn't seem to bother him, and we're really not having any progress. I got really, really discouraged in the middle of the day (nearly bursting into tears in the middle of Cosmic Ray's in Tomorrowland). And now I'm not only considering ways to get help, but also stopping. I never thought I'd say that. I never imagined I could have this much trouble after fighting through my problems nursing DD and then nursing her for 2 years.

Okay, there's my whine for the day. Thanks for letting me get it out. Now, to suck it up for another night.
post #39 of 135
Jen

I had all kinds of horrible breastfeeding problems with my first DD. She wouldn't latch on at all at first--she just screamed at my breasts, which made me sob hormonally. Then she would latch on but not stay.

Nipple shields were the only thing that stopped us from giving up. They are a pain, and they aren't recommended by LLL (at least our LLL leaders hate them.)
Anyway, for some reason DD would readily latch on to those things and nurse happily. If you haven't tried them already, maybe as a very last resort...

AFM, everything with DD2 is going so well...I don't have anything to say for once. Total opposite from high needs exhausting DD1...I do know how some of you all feel, shew.
post #40 of 135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepper44 View Post
Jen

I had all kinds of horrible breastfeeding problems with my first DD. She wouldn't latch on at all at first--she just screamed at my breasts, which made me sob hormonally. Then she would latch on but not stay.

Nipple shields were the only thing that stopped us from giving up. They are a pain, and they aren't recommended by LLL (at least our LLL leaders hate them.)
Anyway, for some reason DD would readily latch on to those things and nurse happily. If you haven't tried them already, maybe as a very last resort...

AFM, everything with DD2 is going so well...I don't have anything to say for once. Total opposite from high needs exhausting DD1...I do know how some of you all feel, shew.
A friend bought me a nipple shield. I am hoping to get this latch issue resolved through the chiropractor, but I promised that I would try the nipple shield one step before resorting to formula.
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