We are at our wits end! DS is 28 months and I am 20 weeks pregnant. DS would nurse through the night until about 26 months (every 2 hours), when we night-weaned from bedtime to 4 am. Night weaning went well -- he cried, but not insanely, and we were able to distract him with stories/etc. He adjusted within a week or so. At 4 am, I was too exhausted to continue, and figured we'd work on cutting out that session during the summer. Since then, he would wake up twice between 4 and 7 to nurse, and then be up for the day. During the day, he nurses in the morning, at night, and for naps on the days I'm with him (he naps with babysitter 5 days per week). Occasionally on days with the sitter, he'll nurse when I get home, just depends on how needy he's feeling.
My milk dried up at about 14 weeks pregnant. It is very painful to nurse. Usually I can hold out for about 15 minutes per side, when necessary, with some switching for a break in between. He still desires comfort nursing, even though he's frustrated there's no milk.
Here are the two problems that have cropped up over the last week or so. First, nighttime has become h*ll. Now, he wakes up to nurse between 4 and 7, and does not fall back to sleep. He wants to stay latched on constantly. After 30 minutes, I can't take it anymore, and I give him limits. After about 25 mins, I tell him he has 5 more minutes. After that, I have him let go. This is when the screaming fit begins. He arches his back, tenses his body, screams and yells that he wants to nurse. Once he gives up on that, he screams and yells that he wants to sit with me in the rocking chair in the other room. This has happened about 4 times now. Now that he's all riled up, it takes at least an hour for him to get back down, usually an hour and a half. And, sometimes it's already 6 by that time and I give up. He's had two mornings now where his wake up time was essentially 3.30 and 4.30 respectively, since he never went back down. It is sooo frustrating!
So, I figure, since I have to be awake anyway, I'm going to cut the nursing part out of the scenario, and hopefully he'll get over it. Maybe I'll end up going to the chair every morning at 4, I don't know.
Now the second problem:
It used to be that when I put him down for naps, he would fall asleep nursing and I would ask him to detach, which he sometimes did, or I would detach him. He would notice but let go and continue sleeping. Now, he refuses to detach, and when I do it, he wakes up, gets mad, arches his back and screams to nurse more. Again, I've usually had it with nursing by the time I take him off, or re-attach until I can't take the pain anymore. Then, he ends up skipping the nap entirely because he's so upset. After a day with no nap, he sleeps horribly at night and wakes up at least a couple of times (e.g., 10, 1.30) before 4 am.
This weekend, after a 4.30 am wake up day, I tried nursing him down at 10 am (he was tired) and the wake up at detach happened again. I then tried at hourly intervals to get him down by all other means (except car) and he accepted NOTHING! I tried rocking, sitting on the couch, walking him in our Ergo, etc., etc., and he got calm, but would not sleep. He finally crashed at 4.50 pm that day (and I was so desiring his sleep that I nursed him each time he woke up until the next morning at 6 am -- without the trouble at detaching or trouble falling back to sleep).
So, at this point, nursing seems to bring more sleeplessness than anything else. I could still keep the pm and and first thing am session, but I don't know if he'll ever learn to fall asleep for naps without nursing if I do.
FYI, for bedtime, he doesn't always nurse down -- he always nurses, and sometimes falls asleep, but many times lets go first, and then falls asleep on his own (with me singing and him on the bed, or me rocking him, depending on the day). So, it's not like he's never done it before! Plus, he goes down just fine for naps with sitters patting his back.
So, does anyone have any ideas?? Or should I throw in the towel? I was up for trying to nurse through pg and possibly tandem, but this is just not working for us...
My milk dried up at about 14 weeks pregnant. It is very painful to nurse. Usually I can hold out for about 15 minutes per side, when necessary, with some switching for a break in between. He still desires comfort nursing, even though he's frustrated there's no milk.
Here are the two problems that have cropped up over the last week or so. First, nighttime has become h*ll. Now, he wakes up to nurse between 4 and 7, and does not fall back to sleep. He wants to stay latched on constantly. After 30 minutes, I can't take it anymore, and I give him limits. After about 25 mins, I tell him he has 5 more minutes. After that, I have him let go. This is when the screaming fit begins. He arches his back, tenses his body, screams and yells that he wants to nurse. Once he gives up on that, he screams and yells that he wants to sit with me in the rocking chair in the other room. This has happened about 4 times now. Now that he's all riled up, it takes at least an hour for him to get back down, usually an hour and a half. And, sometimes it's already 6 by that time and I give up. He's had two mornings now where his wake up time was essentially 3.30 and 4.30 respectively, since he never went back down. It is sooo frustrating!
So, I figure, since I have to be awake anyway, I'm going to cut the nursing part out of the scenario, and hopefully he'll get over it. Maybe I'll end up going to the chair every morning at 4, I don't know.
Now the second problem:
It used to be that when I put him down for naps, he would fall asleep nursing and I would ask him to detach, which he sometimes did, or I would detach him. He would notice but let go and continue sleeping. Now, he refuses to detach, and when I do it, he wakes up, gets mad, arches his back and screams to nurse more. Again, I've usually had it with nursing by the time I take him off, or re-attach until I can't take the pain anymore. Then, he ends up skipping the nap entirely because he's so upset. After a day with no nap, he sleeps horribly at night and wakes up at least a couple of times (e.g., 10, 1.30) before 4 am.
This weekend, after a 4.30 am wake up day, I tried nursing him down at 10 am (he was tired) and the wake up at detach happened again. I then tried at hourly intervals to get him down by all other means (except car) and he accepted NOTHING! I tried rocking, sitting on the couch, walking him in our Ergo, etc., etc., and he got calm, but would not sleep. He finally crashed at 4.50 pm that day (and I was so desiring his sleep that I nursed him each time he woke up until the next morning at 6 am -- without the trouble at detaching or trouble falling back to sleep).
So, at this point, nursing seems to bring more sleeplessness than anything else. I could still keep the pm and and first thing am session, but I don't know if he'll ever learn to fall asleep for naps without nursing if I do.
FYI, for bedtime, he doesn't always nurse down -- he always nurses, and sometimes falls asleep, but many times lets go first, and then falls asleep on his own (with me singing and him on the bed, or me rocking him, depending on the day). So, it's not like he's never done it before! Plus, he goes down just fine for naps with sitters patting his back.
So, does anyone have any ideas?? Or should I throw in the towel? I was up for trying to nurse through pg and possibly tandem, but this is just not working for us...
