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Originally Posted by bluebunny  I would definitely tell him that your belly is off-limits. My five-year old would understand that. As to the other, I would continue to tell him when he is too rough. He needs to work on this now before the new baby arrives. Can you practice being gentle? Does he have a lovey or stuffed toy that you can practice being gentle with?
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He's been told that my belly is off limits unless he's kissing gently (which he
does do sometimes and it's really just cute) or patting or just saying "Hi" to the baby.
He's never been one of those kids that had a lovey or got attached to any stuffed toy. He has a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man plush that he sleeps with, but unless it's bedtime he kind of ignores it.
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Originally Posted by eepster Does he do this with everyone or just you? It sounds a bit like a sensory issue.
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It's with everyone, but he only gets really offended by me. We've been working on getting him to stop shaking people's arms really hard when he's excited to see them. He likes to wrestle with my DP (and when they do that, they are really rough with each other) but my DS sometimes has a hard time understanding when it's ok to "beat" each other up in their pretend fights and when it's not.
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Originally Posted by pbjmama Agree with pp that it sounds sensory. If so, he doesn't process how a light touch feels as good as a rough/deep touch. I bet if he gets enough rough play during the day it will resolve. You could also try massage, bear hugs, mini trampoline, and heavy work to help him. For example, my ds is in charge of carrying/pushing the laundry baskets and helping with groceries and recycling at our house. I also have a pile of dirt that he shovels from one place to another. Sounds boring to me but he loves it and it helps him regulate himself.
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We already do bear hugs (I kind of turn to the side for those so my belly isn't in the way) and he gets rough play with my DP but maybe not as much as he needs? We already do massages and I scratch his back for him when he asks. Sometimes he climbs behind me on the couch and gives me one. I have been yelling at him about jumping from the couch in his room to his bed because it shakes the house
Is this something I should be a little more lenient on? It really is harmless other than the fact that it annoys me sometimes.
He does like to help me carry laundry baskets and I usually let him when I can.
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Originally Posted by Miss Chris I totally identify with this situation and if this is new behavior my theory is it has something to do with your pregnancy. My daughter just turned 4 and our new little one was born 2 months ago. She has always been active and liked to wrestle and jump and play but during my pregnancy I think it got more intense BECAUSE I got more physically defensive, iykwim. She started coming up against limits in her playing with me that hadn't existed when she was smaller and I wasn't pregnant. She is 43 inches tall and weighs around 42 lbs and by the end of my pregnancy I couldn't really carry her anymore and I was, of course, increasingly clumsy and cautious.
Now that the baby is here it's continuing. We had a bit of a honeymoon period right at first but he's two months old now and I think she is feeling frustrated and maybe rejected because when we go to the park I stay on the blanket with the baby instead of chasing her all over the lawn and picking her up and so on...Fortunately she isn't directing it at the baby, but it is still a problem to have her leaping on me and grabbing at me.
During my pregnancy I was able to redirect a lot of her energy to play with her Dad and that was great. I can see that over the last few months the bond between them has gotten a lot stronger.
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Oh, I see what you mean. Before I was pregnant and even before I got into my second trimester I used to join in on the rough wrestling with my DP and my DS. We used to fake fight together but I've backed out of it and it seems like my DP has slowed down on it as well. They still have their rough play, but it's definitely not as often as it used to be.
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Originally Posted by Needle in the Hay |
Thanks for the link, and thank you all for the advice.
