When it really truly is "Medically Necessary" how do you deal with the ridicule? - Page 2

[Cheshire]

I'd find less judgmental friends.

These are the times in our lives when we discover who our true friends are - who will support us without stupid comments. These are also the times we learn who are not true friends. And, these are the times we learn how not to judge others ourselves.

Since my newborn son's death I no longer gossip about decisions or judge what others do for their kids (so long as its not abuse or neglect by most standards, yk).

My son's death could have been prevented if my caregivers had done their jobs - it wasn't any decision we made that caused it. But, knowing how it feels to lose a child I don't judge others who are doing what they believe is in the best interest of their child. I couldn't anymore because I'm not the one who bares the consequences. Only the parents know the weight of those decisions.

It's easy to "identify" with a group and feel like your better or know more than someone else who gravitates to a different group. It's easy to talk about others to form a weird bond of similarity with friends. Truth is most parents love their children, and, most of us only want what is best for our kids.

It sucks your friends aren't acting very friendly.

Best wishes on the surgery. I hope your little one is all better soon.

[Hey Mama!]

How about a big STFU? People can judge all they want but itwill sure sting when they have to take a big ol' bite of humble pie.

[lookatreestar]

you really just need to make peace with it and move on (maybe away from certain friends?) my son had a staph infection and i was this close to giving him the antibiotics but then the last thing we tried worked and cured him. however i got more crap for going with a natural route. so really you cant "win" you just need to do what is best for you and your family loss of hearing is a very serious situation or any other genetic issues (my brother had several surgeries to fix his cleft palate). you need to be supported, not judged. i cant imagine how hard surgery on little ones is for the mama. even thinking about my little guy getting an MRI is hard

[Bri'sgirl]

Wow. You helped your child to the best of your ability and no one has the right to judge you. We tried the natural route for my ds's ear infection. And now I have so much guilt about the whole thing, it's hard to even think about it. He was in so much pain and I tried everything I could think of to try to heal it "naturally". But, in the end, I had to take him to an urgent care center and get antibiotics. Because of it all, his ear drum perfed and now has a hole so big, he needs to get a patch on his ear drum. Conventional medicine is there for a reason.

[lynsage]

Originally Posted by cdmommie

But the real problem is the grief I am getting over from others. I run in a very "natural" circle and some people are appaled that I am allowing SURGERY on my kid. They blame me for my baby's problems. I must not have seen the right Chiropractor. I must not have gone long enough. I must have feed her too much processed stuff. I must have let her cry in her crib too much.... the list goes on.

How do you deal when everyone blames you instead of supporting you when you need support more than ever?

Cut these people out of your life and pursue relationships with kind, supportive, loving people.

[lunamegn]

Those people who are criticizing you have clearly never been in a situation like yours. You made an informed choice. So more than anything you just need to learn how to tune it out and be at peace with your choice. Come up with a polite response that will nip it in the bud any time someone has their two cents to add. And be at peace with the choice.

[nicole_marie]

Originally Posted by cdmommie

But the real problem is the grief I am getting over from others. I run in a very "natural" circle and some people are appaled that I am allowing SURGERY on my kid. They blame me for my baby's problems. I must not have seen the right Chiropractor. I must not have gone long enough. I must have feed her too much processed stuff. I must have let her cry in her crib too much.... the list goes on.

How do you deal when everyone blames you instead of supporting you when you need support more than ever?

I wish everything in nature was just pleasant and perfect, but the fact is that it is not and that is the reason we use medical science on occation. I DO NOT promote the over-use of medical care. But I do promote keeping kids as healthy (and hearing-loss free) as possible.

*nodding my head* BTDT (not with ears, but the "curable" eczema)

You never tried hard enough, you must have used the wrong foods, you didn't try this, you didn't try that. Sometimes, you run out of time/resources to try 7,568 different things before things get serious. Some ear infections can be fought by the child's system, maybe even most (who am I to be the judge)...some obviously CANNOT. (((hugs))) to you. You are a great mom and you are doing the best you can with what you have. I'm sorry that your LO has to have surgery. May your friends grant you with and understanding.