Can a baby come with you to a mental institution?

[ihugtrees]

I feel like I am about to have a breakdown. I absolutely cannot deal with everything going on in my life right now. My husband is gone on a ship and we just moved a month ago, 3000 miles away from all of our friends and family. The only thing keeping me from checking into a mental institution is my daughter--I am afraid they will put her in foster care or something. I've never been away from her for more than 3 or 4 hours. Does anyone know if I check myself in somewhere, will they let me take my 11 month old daughter?

[Marylizah]

I don't know the answer to your question, but I couldn't read and not post. Many, many hugs to you. Is there any way you could go back for awhile with your daughter? Can anyone come to you?

Wishing you all the best.

[freestylemama]

Can you call around? At the very least, out patient care would help. Does your area have 211 or something like that for you to call and find a bunch of resources quickly?

[philomom]

Sorry. I have never heard of a case where the healthy child went to be hospitalized with mom. Have you no family to turn to? Or a very good friend?

[lookatreestar]

[texmati]

can you stay with someone for a bit, or ask someone to stay with you? I"m so sorry mama.

[zebra15]

Generally speaking, therapy is something you need to do alone, or with a partner. Unless of course it is family therapy. When or if you check yourself in to a facility you are there to work on your issues and the staff want you to have as few 'distractions' as possible and they will see your babe as a huge distraction. That may see unfair now, but you will be going to groups, sessions, doing work etc and won't be able to care for a babe.

Is it possible for you to try outpatient care or a therapist instead of going straight to inpatient? Something where you can find a sitter for a couple hrs instead?

[DirtRoadMama]

I was just over in "Finding your Tribe", and saw a post by a lady in Snohomish County. Have you tried posting over there? Perhaps you can find another MDC mama who can help you with the transition?

[Ambivalent Dreams]

Oh, bless your heart! Please call around and see if there is somewhere you can go with your baby or someone can treat you without having to be admitted. Very best wishes to you.

[Marsupialmom]

(((HUG)))

Look for base resources. Find a LLL group, play group, something to socialize with.

Bake something and take a little to each neighbor. To extend a hand in friendship. Maybe find another like mom.

[crunchy_mommy]

The mental institutions around here have day hospital programs. So you'd go from 9-5pm or whatever, just like it's a job... and your baby could stay with a sitter or in daycare & you could still see her at night. I would try calling a few places to see if they have something like that. I tried googling it but I'm on the east coast & not familiar at all with WA, maybe someone in FYT could help.

ETA: I did see someone go to drug rehab with their baby once on Oprah... but I think that is unusual. And honestly, having spent a lot of time in psychiatric facilities myself, I would NOT want my kid in that setting. There are people there who are not only depressed or suicidal but also homicidal and/or prone to violent outbursts... I wouldn't feel comfortable bringing my baby into that.

[Phantaja]

nm.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Hun, I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time.

Do your parents work for a company that is required to recognize FMLA? Do you have siblings who would come that could get FMLA leave? It requires your doctor (or midwife) to fill out some paperwork for their company that will remain confidential. They can come to be emotional support for PPD.

My mother did it, and stayed for a month the first time, and over a month the second (the second time was for a DV situation). Under FMLA someone can get up to 12 weeks unpaid leave. Does ANYONE in your family qualify for it?? If they have enough sick leave saved up they can use that to have paid time.

If you need someone you need to get someone to come to you. Or, who cares that you just moved. It's just you and your DD right? Get on an airplane and go to them. Ask a neighbor to take in your mail, or have it forwarded.

ETA - I know someone from the snohomish county area - her family is really sweet. Are you religious? Do you attend church? If you do I might be able to put you in touch with a great church "family" in that area. One that would welcome you with open arms and be willing to help out.

[basje]

I'd call and ask but I'm afraid it's unlikely. I live in the bay area and we have a crisis nursery in the area. I found one online in WA that you might want to look into called Childhaven http://www.childhaven.org.

Their crisis nursery seems to function in the same way that the one here does, it's a private non-profit which would allow for a safe place for you baby to stay while you get the help you need without involving social services, it's free of charge and confidential and you can call Crisis Line: Self-referring parents call the 24-hour crisis line by dialing 206.328.KIDS (206.328.5437). There goal is to keep kids safe and families together.

I am proud of you for realizing that you are having trouble coping and getting help. This is shows what an amazing mother you are, caring for yourself so that you can care for your baby. It takes a strong woman to ask for help when feeling so horribly. Call the crisis line, and find out what they have to offer, they may even have some suggestions about psychiatric hospitals in the area. In my experience there can be large differences between programs. You can get through this, there is hope on the other side. Hang in there.

Will be thinking of you and if I come up with anything more, I'll add it to the post.

[frontierpsych]

I had to leave my son at home to go to rehab for a month when he was 19 months. I only got to visit him for 15 minutes on Saturdays and Sundays, and I had to be escorted to the lobby to do this. I nursed him at our visits and pumped while he was away, but did not have the means to send him the milk so I pumped and dumped. This particular hospital has a psych ward as well, and their rules are more strict than the inpatient rehab's, so I am not sure if they could make similar arrangements. I hope you can find something that works for you and your baby, I know what a hard decision it can be.

[phrogger]

You can call Military One Source and they might have some suggestions on therapists who can help ASAP. You can also call your husbands commands ombudsman and see if they sources to help you, even if it is with childcare. I know I am listed as an emergancy drop off childcare if anyone has problems even if it is long term. I wish you were closer so I could help you.

[Carolyn R]

I don't want to give you false hope because I have no idea how hospitals/institutions vary, but when I was considering inpatient treatment when my dd was a newborn, they would've let me bring her along since she was nursing. Their requirement was that I would've had to bring another adult with me to stay the whole time (ie dh or my mom) that could've cared for her while I was in therapy sessions, etc.

I would also tell you lovingly and with utmost respect...PPD is a tough road, and sometimes requires us to make hard, courageous decisions in order to help ourselves be well again. And that's okay. What I'm getting at is if in the end you need to be separated from your little one temporarily, you will make it, and your relationship can grow and flourish once you're feeling better.

So sorry you're in this dilemma, you will be in my prayers.

Wishing you help and healing.

[ihugtrees]

I don't feel like I'm going to harm myself or harm my daughter...more like something is going to push me over the edge in public and I'm going to end up crying in a ball on the floor or something equally embarrassing. I am feeling a little better today than I was yesterday.

Right now my daughter is the only thing helping me cope, and I am afraid it would be much harder for me to work on myself at all worrying about her and missing her. Leaving her for even 9 hours a day would devastate her, let alone overnight--she comes crawling to me as fast as she can after being at her babysitter's for 3 hours even. She is also extremely clingy and needy since her dad has been gone, as she is very attached to him as well. She nurses all night. Leaving her is just not an option, but since is she 11 months old, I know most places would not consider her need to nurse as important as a newborns.

I have a pretty unsupportive family. They are coming to visit for a weekend in May but they are too 'busy' to come drop everything even if I need them. When I lived 45 minutes away, they hardly came to visit. Once, when I was vomiting with a 103 fever, my mom was too busy to come watch my 3 month old baby while I napped. So I doubt she is going to come across the country. And I'm not really sure I'd want her here any way. My brothers are still teenagers, so the same thing there. I have one friend--she also lives in Florida, and she does not have the financial means to come be with me.

I am not religious, but am attending a UU church here. Perhaps I should ask them for resources.

Tricare gave me a referral to counselors in my area but none of them are taking new patients for two weeks. I am going to call today and more or less beg them to take me immediately.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by ihugtrees

I have one friend--she also lives in Florida, and she does not have the financial means to come be with me.

I am not religious, but am attending a UU church here. Perhaps I should ask them for resources.

Tricare gave me a referral to counselors in my area but none of them are taking new patients for two weeks. I am going to call today and more or less beg them to take me immediately.

Please do call the counselors! Tell them you really need to see someone, and I'm sure someone will try to fit you in!

And, if your friend can't come to you, can you go to her? If you DH is away for an extended period of time is there a reason you need to stay put? Even just going for a visit might help.

Also - definitely ask at your church!! Really, I'm sure the leaders there will be able to offer some form of assistance. There might even be some teenagers that you can have come over as "mothers helpers" to help with your house cleaning, laundry, dishes, baby care while you take a hot bath, whatever needs doing! For a few dollars teens will do ANYTHING - I know b/c I was one once! Ask around at the church for recommendations - I'm sure there are a few families with responsible teens that can help out!

There might even be a "mothers group" that you can meet up with once a week - I know that was so helpful to me when DS was smaller. Now its easier b/c he's older, but LLL was SO GREAT when he was younger! I didn't have any BF problems, but loved meeting other moms! Which reminds me, look up your nearest LLL!!!

And, thanks for the update, I was thinking about you last night!

And, don't be embarrassed by feeling overwhelmed - most new mothers do, and if you tell the leaders at your church what the problem is they will more than likely be able to offer help and guidance. Try not to downplay it either, if they realize that you're really struggling they might be able to do more than just "offer resources".

[ihugtrees]

Originally Posted by thyra

Please do call the counselors! Tell them you really need to see someone, and I'm sure someone will try to fit you in!

And, if your friend can't come to you, can you go to her? If you DH is away for an extended period of time is there a reason you need to stay put? Even just going for a visit might help.

Also - definitely ask at your church!! Really, I'm sure the leaders there will be able to offer some form of assistance. There might even be some teenagers that you can have come over as "mothers helpers" to help with your house cleaning, laundry, dishes, baby care while you take a hot bath, whatever needs doing! For a few dollars teens will do ANYTHING - I know b/c I was one once! Ask around at the church for recommendations - I'm sure there are a few families with responsible teens that can help out!

There might even be a "mothers group" that you can meet up with once a week - I know that was so helpful to me when DS was smaller. Now its easier b/c he's older, but LLL was SO GREAT when he was younger! I didn't have any BF problems, but loved meeting other moms! Which reminds me, look up your nearest LLL!!!

And, thanks for the update, I was thinking about you last night!

And, don't be embarrassed by feeling overwhelmed - most new mothers do, and if you tell the leaders at your church what the problem is they will more than likely be able to offer help and guidance. Try not to downplay it either, if they realize that you're really struggling they might be able to do more than just "offer resources".

I can't go to her because she just got divorced a few weeks ago and is staying with her parents for a little while to get back on her feet. I also really don't want to go somewhere else temporarily...I have not been in one place longer than 6 months in the last 5 years. I need to settle somewhere, and the biggest relief for me right now is that I am here for one full year. I have one full year to establish myself.

I do attend LLL and have gotten involved in several moms groups, but I'm really surprised by the lack of community here. They call it the 'Seattle chill.' I've tried to initiate friendship with people and they literally do not respond. I've heard its extremely difficult to make friends here.

I will talk to someone at my church...hopefully they can help me.

I called five or six counselors this morning that are on my insurance and none of them had openings for 1.5-2 weeks. When I told them I really need to see someone immediately (I actually started crying a few times), some told me to call the crisis line, and some gave me some other resources. One helpful lady told me to try Bach's flower remedy...so I'm going to get some of that today. There are no other women counselors within 30 minutes of my home that take my insurance. I did leave a message at two of the counselors offices--maybe one of them will have help for me.