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Can a baby come with you to a mental institution? - Page 2

post #21 of 48
Maybe a call from your doctor could get you into a counselor sooner? It's amazing how schedules open up when Dr So-and-So's office calls.

My neighbor came home from Iraq on a hardship leave when his wife was diagnosed with lung cancer. Could your husband look into something like that?
post #22 of 48
Here's a link to the resources listed on the The Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation for Postpartum Depression Awareness website.

http://www.ppdsupport.org/resources.htm

The website also says, "If you feel you need immediate assistance or are interested in more information, please feel free to contact Helena Bradford.
Email: buzerhel@aol.com Phone: 843-881-2047"

Helena's daughter, Ruth, committed suicide when her son was only a few months old. If she doesn't know the answer to your question, I am sure she will be willing to help you find out.

I hope you can find the support you need.

****

To anyone in the Charleston, SC area - this foundation is holding a walk/fundraiser this weekend. More info on their website.
post #23 of 48
I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I agree with the PP-you should definitely reach out to the military. You are not alone and you are not the first military wife to be far away from your family and usual support system suddenly thrust into single motherhood. They have resources to help you and they understand your somewhat unique situation. I hope things get better very soon.
post #24 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by ihugtrees View Post
I do attend LLL and have gotten involved in several moms groups, but I'm really surprised by the lack of community here. They call it the 'Seattle chill.' I've tried to initiate friendship with people and they literally do not respond. I've heard its extremely difficult to make friends here.

I will talk to someone at my church...hopefully they can help me.

I called five or six counselors this morning that are on my insurance and none of them had openings for 1.5-2 weeks. When I told them I really need to see someone immediately (I actually started crying a few times), some told me to call the crisis line, and some gave me some other resources. One helpful lady told me to try Bach's flower remedy...so I'm going to get some of that today. There are no other women counselors within 30 minutes of my home that take my insurance. I did leave a message at two of the counselors offices--maybe one of them will have help for me.
Can you try a male counselor? If there was no one else with openings, then I would try that. Also, did you schedule any appointments with any of them? You should - even if its far out. It might help you to know that you ARE doing something! And, make sure to tell them to call if they have anything open up! People do cancel appointments, so you might have some luck there.

And, calling a crisis line might help!! Definitely try it!

Seattle is a hard place to make friends, its my hometown, but I love it there. Just keep trying. You will get there! And, churches are good networking places.

Do you like hiking? That always helps put me in a good mood and theres TONS right near you. Tiger is a great hike, and so is Little Si - both have beautiful views at the top too.

Keep reaching out to anyone who will listen! You'll be OK.
post #25 of 48
Call Military One Source, they have counselors and even ones that will do it online (like a chat). If you can't get anything through tricare right now, look at that option. I know how hard it is with the baby and DH being gone. Mine is gone only on a det right now and will be back in a couple of weeks, but they he will getting ready for cruise soon and it sucks. There is help out there, don't give up on it yet
post #26 of 48
I've been thru many 'crisis' in my life (not necessarily PP) and I can tell you 1-2 week is standard in most cases to get a therapy appt for a new client. new client appts are longer then regular appts. Please schedule something.


Find a group to attend, take your DD to the park, go to storytime at the library, Hire a sitter and get your nails done....

FWIW I relate better to male therapists, try giving them a call too.
post #27 of 48
What you are describing sounds like severe anxiety/panic attacks. Your family doctor could easily prescribe something to help you if you are open to taking some medication. I had very severe anxiety after the birth of all three of my children and I also had zero support. My family lives 1,600 miles away. I was new in town when my children were born so I didn't have any close friends. And while my husband was home (when not at work) he was not supportive and our marriage was in shambles. I was coping alone. So I have some idea of what you are going through. I hope you get some relief and support soon.
post #28 of 48
Definitely call a crisis line. I volunteered for one years ago, and we would normally stay on the phone for as long as it was needed, sometimes for hours, to just listen to someone who was in need.

This said, if you get a volunteer that you don't click with, ask him or her whether you can call back or be transferred to someone else. I called a crisis line once and the person i talked to was absolutely clueless and unsupportive. But normally you can call back and you will ge someone else!

lots of hugs to you. what a hard situation.

i read a story once about a woman who felt for years as though she was on edge--like she would fall down and start a tantrum any moment. then at a family dinner she finally did that, and found it very liberating.

maybe having a good cry is not a bad thing, but something that you need to do.

post #29 of 48
OP - is there an update? How are you doing?
post #30 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by ihugtrees View Post
I don't feel like I'm going to harm myself or harm my daughter...more like something is going to push me over the edge in public and I'm going to end up crying in a ball on the floor or something equally embarrassing. I am feeling a little better today than I was yesterday.
Well the good news is that if you're not feeling like you're going to harm yourself, there's no way they're going to hospitalize you!

If it helps, I did end up breaking down crying in front of friends and colleagues and lived to tell the tale.

Another option:
Contact the PSI (Postpartum Support International) in your area:
http://www.postpartum.net/Get-Help/S...ashington.aspx

This organization has support groups they can refer you to and very often there's a real live volunteer who's suffered from PPD that you can call and talk to. That might well get you through the two weeks you need.

Have you called your primary care doc? You probably also need meds. Meds + counseling is the most effective long term 'cure' for PPD.

Could you afford some help? Someone to watch your dd for an hour or so while you take a nice long walk?
post #31 of 48
Hi,
I'm not a regular on this board, but I saw this post on the front page and wanted to reach out. I'm also in Snohomish County, I don't have a day job, I have a pretty reasonable amount of free time during the week, and I'd be happy to help. If you just need company, or someone to go for a walk with, or someone to sit in a therapist's waiting room with your baby while you go in for an appointment, I am willing to help. I know more than one mother who has suffered with PPD and have clinical depression in my family. I know how real it is and how awful it can get.

Please feel free to PM me and I will give you my personal contact info. And FYI: I have friends who attend 2 different UU churches in the area, so we may know someone in common.

-MQ
post #32 of 48
If you husband is in the military you should talk to him and tell him to ask one of his superiors what to do sometimes they will let guys go home under special circumstances. I only say this because I have known a few women do similar things and cps has taken their kids and the dads even had a hell of a time getting them back and the dads were in iraq deployed and had nothing to do with it and couldn't help them. There is no support for us as spouses with depression really (military one source is good though) we're mostly just expected to deal. Dont deal with it get a family practice appt and get some meds asap I would never say this but you cant leave your dd esp if your dh or family isnt there she will go into the system. I had a severe panic attack when my husband was gone the last time and thank GOD my sister was visiting us in alaska. There was a lot going on in our family deaths etc and I was alone in alaska with 4 kids and just so traumatized they were kind enough to let my dh come home because they didnt really need him where they were and they knew what was going on. I'm a tough cookie too and did 3 deployments with my husband gone to afghan prior so I know how to cope mostly. The first thing the emt asked me was is your husband deployed...so that right there tells ya something. Anyway I have been a military wife geez forever and I am a veteran so I sympathize with you mama. Talk to your doc before anything ask them to give you some meds, I wouldnt normally say that but if your situation is desperate do what you can to cope and if that means meds there is no harm in it. I had to swallow my pride years ago and just tell my doc to get them. I'm ok and you will be too.
post #33 of 48
Call military one source! They can get you free help and they are fast about it too!
post #34 of 48
post #35 of 48
updates from the OP?

*hugs* I had to "lose it" in front of others too and you know what, they came to my rescue in ways I couldn't imagine.

I know you said your family is "too busy" but did they ACTUALLY say that? What would be the worst that could happen if you called and said "Mom, I am checking into an institution, you need to take dc"?

I know for me, PPD and general depression, made me feel like I was a burden on everyone and so I avoided even asking for help. In the end, though, no one knew I was suffering. I had to let go and beleive that ppl, even strangers, were more than willing to help, just like I would ddrop everything to help them.

FWIW, I called a crisis hotline too and it was such a breath of fresh air! being able to talk to someone let out some steam and relieved a lot of my load.

s to you

hope to hear back soon!
post #36 of 48
There's only one program in the US that will let you bring a baby with you.

University of North Carolina
http://www.womensmentalhealth.org/po...tpartum-women/
post #37 of 48
In Edmonton Alberta Canada, The salvation army runs a sober living facility where moms and kids can stay and recover. It like a sober living apartment with therapy provided from 9-5 and 24 hour staff. My friend stayed there for awhile while pregnant and with her newborn baby. She got a year clean before moving out on her own. That was OT.

However the hospital here does have outpatient programs. Maybe sign up for one of those.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
The mental institutions around here have day hospital programs. So you'd go from 9-5pm or whatever, just like it's a job... and your baby could stay with a sitter or in daycare & you could still see her at night. I would try calling a few places to see if they have something like that. I tried googling it but I'm on the east coast & not familiar at all with WA, maybe someone in FYT could help.

ETA: I did see someone go to drug rehab with their baby once on Oprah... but I think that is unusual. And honestly, having spent a lot of time in psychiatric facilities myself, I would NOT want my kid in that setting. There are people there who are not only depressed or suicidal but also homicidal and/or prone to violent outbursts... I wouldn't feel comfortable bringing my baby into that.
post #38 of 48
(((Kara))) You are right, it is hard to build community here. I've been here for more than two years now, and although I would say I have "friends," I almost never see them, and I am lonely more often than not. It doesn't help that I have trouble reaching out to make plans. I go to LLL meetings when I can, and Mom's Night Out if it works for my dh, but... Yeah.

For sure, seeing a counselor will help. I really like Juliana Nason Ashe, but I don't know if she is accepting new patients. I found flower essences to help. Exercise to manage the anxiety. Regular sleep, which I know has been an issue for you. Has that improved any over the past two months?

Let me know if you want to get together.
post #39 of 48
OP where in sno county are you? I'm in Brier and would be happy to get together and help if I can. I'm working so my hours are not plentiful, but I would be happy to help. PM me
post #40 of 48
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by laurata View Post
(((Kara))) You are right, it is hard to build community here. I've been here for more than two years now, and although I would say I have "friends," I almost never see them, and I am lonely more often than not. It doesn't help that I have trouble reaching out to make plans. I go to LLL meetings when I can, and Mom's Night Out if it works for my dh, but... Yeah.

For sure, seeing a counselor will help. I really like Juliana Nason Ashe, but I don't know if she is accepting new patients. I found flower essences to help. Exercise to manage the anxiety. Regular sleep, which I know has been an issue for you. Has that improved any over the past two months?

Let me know if you want to get together.
Tricare doesn't accept Juliana, unfortunately. I don't have the energy to exercise, though I've tried for years and years now. Sleep has not gotten better. We attempted to partially nightwean when my husband was home briefly, but now he is gone again and I am back to getting less sleep. I have trouble reaching out, too. I have trouble even actually going to the events. I am so ridiculously lonely, and yet I have opportunities to get together with other moms and I don't go. I don't want to, I can't bring myself to do it. One on one is easier...it's groups that make me feel even worse. Nothing like being in the middle of a group of people who all know each other and feeling totally alone, you know?

To everyone else...I still haven't seen a counselor, as they are all booking several weeks out still. I need to just call one and make an appointment for a month from now and be done with it, but my thoughts are so foggy and scattered during the day...with my husband gone, I'm going going going all day just trying to keep afloat, and by the time I'm thinking of calling, it's 10 pm. Military One Source's website says they are not equipped to deal with serious issues so I haven't called them. I am contemplating moving back to Florida, even though it isn't what I want to do...at least I have some people here, whereas here, I have nobody. I appreciate all of the responses and offers for help. Right now, my daughter is the one keeping me holding on. I don't want her to be alone or scared, so I need to keep it together for her. I can't have a breakdown, I can't go to a facility. I need to stay strong for her.
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