Private people. Why is it such a problem? - Page 2

[blizzard_babe]

Where I live, it's impossible to separate "friends" from "work." There just aren't enough people here to separate the two categories. As a result, many, many, many of my "friends" on FB are coworkers. I don't limit access, because some of my coworkers are also my bestest friends (read at my wedding, etc.) and it would be weird. I just don't say anything on FB that I wouldn't want all my coworkers reading. I'm a pretty prolific FBer, but the public stuff is all very... public.

I'm a VERY private person by nature, when it comes to what's going on deep in my brain and heart... like I don't even discuss that stuff very openly with the people I'm closest to, so even if my coworkers and such weren't on FB, I wouldn't be posting it there anyway. So I don't limit access or anything because there's nothing there that I am uncomfortable sharing with anyone.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Thank you to all of you who posted. It's nice to see other perspectives on this issue.


That South Park video is hilarious...that's how I originally felt about FB.
Now that I have a better grasp on the privacy function, I like it all alot better. Lol.

Yeah, living in a small community (based on are and coworkers who are also my neighbors) has created an enormous problem for me.
Before this I never lived in base housing and the transition created significant heartache for me. For those of you who've never lived on a military installation in base housing....I swear it's like living in a Big Brother house. You are watched and discussed constantly. Add that into living in a town with less than 25,000 and is an hour from any "major" city...geesh, it's hard for anyone that's used to living privately.

Best of luck whatever you do. Oh, and in your shoes, next time someone got upset/razzed me about being private, I'd simply and calmly ask them "Why does that bother you so much?" and just listen to the answers. You don't owe anyone info about you you don't want to share. But often by asking the person why they're so bothered that you don't like to talk about ________, they other person will realize it's not the end of the world, AND that maybe they look a little silly caring so much.

I like this and will probably use it when I need to.

Most of my statuses are about being my son's mumma (which will probably land me on STFU, Parents dot com, but I'll live. )

ROFLMAO. Yeah, me too. I've been asked why I put MY name on the page at all!!! It's almost a virtual shrine to my kid.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

So, I've got a question about the "flip side" of this: their wall page.

Is it rude of me to post on their wall with mine hidden to them? Nothing controversial or anything...just run of the mill conversation or holiday wishes?

If I'm going to do that should I open up mine to them?

Would YOU think it was rude if I posted on your page while mine is blocked?

[Tradd]

Originally Posted by HappilyEvrAfter

So, I've got a question about the "flip side" of this: their wall page.

Is it rude of me to post on their wall with mine hidden to them? Nothing controversial or anything...just run of the mill conversation or holiday wishes?

If I'm going to do that should I open up mine to them?

Would YOU think it was rude if I posted on your page while mine is blocked?

Send them a PM. Another reason I had to block my wall for a time was that I'd PM people about something...and then they would respond to that PM on my wall.

[Sol_y_Paz]

I didn't want to offend anyone, and I am a private person by nature, so I don't have a wall. That offends people too and I get some flack for it. Just can't win! But I don't want a wall.

[Sol_y_Paz]

Originally Posted by Satori

Yes it usually starts out that way but before you know it you have everyone under the sun friending you and your private life has just become public. .

Someone I know said that if he wanted his life to be public he would have been a politician when he was asked why he is not on facebook.

[*bejeweled*]

Originally Posted by Satori

lol, that was good! That drama is part of the reason I don't do facebook or myspace. To me, private people don't do facebook and blogs, exhibitionist type people do. If I want you to know something I'll tell you directly and not yell it to the world at large, especially people from work where it could get me fired or disciplined. Work and personal life need to stay separate imo.

[Ceinwen]

Originally Posted by Tradd

Send them a PM. Another reason I had to block my wall for a time was that I'd PM people about something...and then they would respond to that PM on my wall.

This drives me insane.

If I send you a PRIVATE message - replying to me on my *very* public wall = not very cool at all.

I'm one of those extroverted people who posts just about anything, anytime - but I've also limited who I have on my facebook.

Co-workers, yup. Current family and friends, you betcha. People from my past? Not so much.

[pauletoy]

First let me say that I love Facebook. It has allowed me to reconnect with some very dear friends I haven't seen in years.

As for the co-workers, I would not accept friend requests. To me, it blurs the lines of professionalism. If I were very good friends with a co-worker, socialized with them outside of work and trusted them, then I probably would friend them. As a general rule though, I think it is best to keep work on a more professional level.

[kcstar]

I started out mostly with trusted people (although some of them were former colleagues / customers), and now it's the whole mix. Friends from elementary school, high school, college, previous job / church, current town.

I do try to keep it light. I do get political, but I always try to write/post with respect for the other side.

Once I hit a niche number - about 100 friends or so? - I quit worrying as much about who de-friended me, and what I might have done "wrong". It gave me a confidence / acceptance that I'm okay the way I am, and don't have to change "me".

That said... I keep the details of my religion (personal practices / beliefs within the UU umbrella) pretty quiet.

[rlmueller]

I feel ya

Originally Posted by paintedfire

I work for the government, so the idea of a Facebook page just screams "Bad idea!" to me.

Wouldn't touch facebook with a 10 foot pole