Preschooler and a newborn - part II

[zannster]

I posted a while back, asking for suggestions for this (before DD was born). I decided at that time to go ahead with trying to co-sleep with two. I guess I thought DS would do his part by staying on his side of the bed - ha!

Early in the morning, he gets more active, and he starts kicking me and putting his legs against me in his sleep. I experience enough waking as it is (with nursing) so this doesn't make me happy.

I have to switch directions in the bed a few times every night (to keep the two kids apart), which is not the end of the world but annoying.

Bedtime is a huge hassle. I've been trying to take DD to bed earlier than DS goes to bed, but he makes a lot of noise, resists letting DH get him ready for bed, and inevitably talks to me when he comes to bed (no matter how often I tell him not to do so). It's infuriating, especially when DD is asleep and I'm trying to keep it that way! I'm not sure how else to manage the bedtime. I can't very well have him in there while I'm trying to get DD to sleep.

Part of me thinks it would be a good idea to try letting DS and DH sleep in DS's room together, avoiding some of the bedtime hassle (and the rest of it, of course). The problem is that I feel guilty about this. I don't want to kick him out of my bed. I enjoyed having him there before DD was born. Maybe part of me is afraid that he would take to it readily - or that he would be resentful of me for making him leave. If I were to ask him though, he'd say that he wants to sleep with me, although he will also sleep with DH.

I wish we had two double beds...that would at least have us all sleeping in the same room. We have a king and a twin, and there just isn't room to upsize the twin.

What would you do? Any other suggestions?

[boigrrrlwonder]

DD (3) got transitioned to a bed with Daddy right after the baby was born. No one was sleeping at all, and she regressed on both night weaning and bed wetting. I felt guilty, but she was stoked. We got the bed frame before the mattress, and she was devastated that she couldn't sleep on her new bed right away. She returned to being night weaned and we went from having 3+ accidents at night to a dramatic drop, like one a week, that slowly tapered down to none again. For our family, this was clearly a much better option.

[zannster]

Did you all stay in the same room?

Last night, I asked ds if he'd like to sleep with papa again (in ds's room), and he said yes. I then went to bed. Later, ds wanted to come sleep with me, but dh discouraged it. And ds was angry/upset with me this morning. I went in for customary morning snuggling, and it took several minutes for him to warm up to me. Sigh...

[WildinTheory]

I worry a bit about how this is going to work for us. Right now DS sleeps between us in our king size bed. I have the crib sidecarred to my side of the bed and plan on having the new baby sleep there. However, we're also buying DS a new captain's bed frame for his double mattress. I figure this way if the babe and I are up we can go lay down in there or maybe DS and DH will end up there some nights. I know DH is going to push pretty hard to get DS to sleep in the new bed but I'm trying to go with the flow and realize that more bed options is good for everyone. DS is very attached to our comforter on our bed so we might pass it on to him in hopes of making his bed feel inviting and more what he is used to.

[SollysMom]

We're cosleeping with our 2.5 y/o and 5-month-old. DS1 isn't nightweaned, so our story is a bit different.

When we first had the baby, I slept in the guest room with him so that he wouldn't wake DS1 in the middle of the night. I would still put DS1 to bed in our room while DH held the baby, then when we went to bed at night I'd go to guest room with baby and DH would join DS1 in our room. DH would then have to bring DS1 to me to nurse in the middle of the night, if he couldn't get him back to sleep himself (usually at least once a night). We were down to him nursing just once during the night and then in the early morning he would come and just stay in bed with me and the baby, and he even STTN once.

But I missed sleeping in my own room and wanted us all together again, so DS2 and I started sleeping in our room with DH and DS1. Now what we do is, DH still takes the baby while I put DS1 to bed (we have a twin beside a queen, and DS1 starts on the twin). If the baby's already asleep DH just holds him on his lap on the couch. When we're all ready for bed (with DS2 already asleep), we join DS1 in our room and all 3 get on the queen. When DS1 wakes to nurse (he's regressed on the nightweaning, sigh) DH trades spots with him and goes to the twin. Sometimes in the middle of the night if the baby needs me and DS1 is up and fussing, DH will pull him over to snuggle and usually can get him back to sleep.

We've just recently started occasionally putting DS2 in bed before we go to bed. If it's before DS1 goes to bed, then we put DS2 in our room and DS1 starts the night in the guest room (which will eventually be his/their room). When that happens, DH goes to bed in there with him and then they come to our room when he wakes to nurse. If DS1 is already in bed and we want to put DS2 down, we will sometimes get him to sleep outside of the bedroom and then put him down on the queen in our room, as far as possible from DS1 with pillows between them. I listen to the intercom like a hawk so I can get back there quickly if one of them wakes, before they wake the other up.

[zannster]

That sounds complicated. I had to re-read some parts!

Since posting this, DS has taken to sleeping most nights in his room with DH. I still feel bad/sad about it, but it does make bedtime easier and less stressful. I still hope we can work out some other arrangement when DD is old enough to handle being next to her big brother.