I'll try to keep this short and to the point. (after another lovely "moment' with DH)
The whole point of tonight's fiasco is: I am SICK TO DEATH of being the "policewoman" with the kids.
He goes to work, he comes home, he gives them candy, he plays with and talks to them, they go to bed. That is his day. Oh and on the weekends, he'll take them to the park, the zoo, buy them the fast-food I say no to during most of the week (because you just can't eat like that *all* the time!) and go grocery shopping--which consists of him bringing home *all* the treats they like every time--we are talking several boxes of cookies, bags of chips, candy, and usually some sort of cake or rolls too. Despite the fact that I have asked especially not to have the expensive bought-baked stuff because *I* love to bake with the kids and I don't want the Crisco that's in that stuff in my house.
MY day involves referree-ing about 45 sibling squabbles and enforcing the few rules I have---rules he AGREES with.
We also live in a neighborhood where it's near impossible to enforce the rules because most of the kids here do not have any rules. My kids see that and want to be like them.
(I am not talking about being "overly strict" at all. I am talking about not letting children under the age of 6 ride bikes in a parking lot. Or play behind the building, where there is a large standing pond--no idea how deep, but nasty standing water. Or go over to the little playground alone, because that is *supposed* to be the rules where we live, but almost nobody actually follows it.) Typically what I do is when they are out in the evening, if they break a rule, they come in for the night.
I know that I'm the parent who stays home and he is the parent who works. But right now, when it comes to discipline--other than the ONE rule he does enforce about no drinks in the living room--I feel like this is a 95-5 split. I'd be *much* happier with 75-25. (I know 5050 just won't be it, I mean how can it be when I'm the one who's here all day?)
I think that my oldest would argue less with me about the rules if he saw his dad come outside--when he is home--once in awhile--and tell him that he has to come in for the evening because he chose to ride his bike in the road. Or whatever.
Am I asking for too darn much for him to *sometimes* when he is here and he sees the problem--to get off his butt and go outside and enforce a rule? WITHOUT me having to point it out and ask him to do it? Or go outside myself and tell them they need to come in--and they refuse, so I go get him?!
I think they NEED to see him also enforcing the rules I've set...anyone else?
The whole point of tonight's fiasco is: I am SICK TO DEATH of being the "policewoman" with the kids.
He goes to work, he comes home, he gives them candy, he plays with and talks to them, they go to bed. That is his day. Oh and on the weekends, he'll take them to the park, the zoo, buy them the fast-food I say no to during most of the week (because you just can't eat like that *all* the time!) and go grocery shopping--which consists of him bringing home *all* the treats they like every time--we are talking several boxes of cookies, bags of chips, candy, and usually some sort of cake or rolls too. Despite the fact that I have asked especially not to have the expensive bought-baked stuff because *I* love to bake with the kids and I don't want the Crisco that's in that stuff in my house.
MY day involves referree-ing about 45 sibling squabbles and enforcing the few rules I have---rules he AGREES with.
We also live in a neighborhood where it's near impossible to enforce the rules because most of the kids here do not have any rules. My kids see that and want to be like them.
(I am not talking about being "overly strict" at all. I am talking about not letting children under the age of 6 ride bikes in a parking lot. Or play behind the building, where there is a large standing pond--no idea how deep, but nasty standing water. Or go over to the little playground alone, because that is *supposed* to be the rules where we live, but almost nobody actually follows it.) Typically what I do is when they are out in the evening, if they break a rule, they come in for the night.
I know that I'm the parent who stays home and he is the parent who works. But right now, when it comes to discipline--other than the ONE rule he does enforce about no drinks in the living room--I feel like this is a 95-5 split. I'd be *much* happier with 75-25. (I know 5050 just won't be it, I mean how can it be when I'm the one who's here all day?)
I think that my oldest would argue less with me about the rules if he saw his dad come outside--when he is home--once in awhile--and tell him that he has to come in for the evening because he chose to ride his bike in the road. Or whatever.
Am I asking for too darn much for him to *sometimes* when he is here and he sees the problem--to get off his butt and go outside and enforce a rule? WITHOUT me having to point it out and ask him to do it? Or go outside myself and tell them they need to come in--and they refuse, so I go get him?!
I think they NEED to see him also enforcing the rules I've set...anyone else?
("cookie" is a pretty evenly divided request, I bake.)
