If your first birth was really fast and painful...

[jennica]

... what were your subsequent births like?

My first birth was very traumatic for many reasons. Two reasons it was traumatic was because it was so overwhelmingly painful and way faster than I expected (6 hours total - from first contraction to birth - for a first timer). I feel like I've taken care of everything else in order to have a non-traumatizing birth this time, but this is the one thing I just don't have any control over and wont know what it will be like until it happens.

I don't want to do hypno-babies/birthing for a few reasons, or Bradley, or Lamaze. I'm going to go to Birthing From Within classes soon with Dh and it is my understanding that they teach a large variety of coping techniques. I will have access to a birth tub this time (which I was denied last time).

But...

My last labor was so fast, and parts of it were extremely fast (I went from 3 to 9.5 in 1.5 hours). I feel like the birth would have been even faster had I not been interfered with so much and had I not been fighting against what my body was trying to do (it just took me by surprise because everyone said first time mothers had long early labor phases, and I had no early labor at all, and it caused me to feel like something was wrong instead of that my body was doing what it was supposed to do very efficiently). I'm only 28 weeks and baby is already really low in my pelvis. My chiro says she thinks things are going to go fast this time and she hopes my midwife is close by. I have a sense that things will go much faster in my own home than they did in a hospital setting.

So...

I'm really worried that the labor is going to be fast again, or even faster than last time. And for me, that seems to mean overwhelmingly painful. It's like I get hit by a freight train instead of gradually getting used to be contractions. My contractions last time were sporadic and on top of each other. There was little to no break in between and as one was coming down I would feel the next one building up. I am not asking about ways to cope, I just want to know what it was like for you if you had a very painful fast labor. Were your next labor/s really painful too? Were they also really fast, or faster than the first? I have read about those lucky people who have short and painless labors and I wish that could be the case with me, but I fear that it won't be and I'm not sure how to prevent being traumatized by that kind of pain. It was so overwhelmingly horrible, no one should ever have to experience such torture. But, I am sure it was made far worse by the other factors that caused my birth to be traumatic, so it is hard to tease this stuff apart in my case and that is why I was hoping to get some input here.

[klocke]

For me personally yes each birth was a quick one.

1st baby - total of 7 hours in labor, but that includes 3 hours of pushing so it only took me 4 hours to get from 2 cm to 10cm

2nd baby - 5 hours total in labor with about 20 minutes of pushing

3rd baby - 3 1/2 hours from 1st contraction to delivery! Only about 5 minutes of pushing though.

My midwife though has had both long and short labors mixed (6 total babies)so I can't say it is a guarantee you'll go fast but that is my experience.

[Right of Passage]

My first birth, 23 hours, ended in c-section. Very painful birth experience. My 2nd birth was 3 hours, painful, it was an intervention free vaginal birth. My 3rd birth was only about 40 minutes of active labor, the contractions that led up to it felt good and were easily ignored (counting from the easily ignored contractions it was 4 hours), it was not only NOT painful it was sensual.

I was prepared for anything between 23 hours, and 3 hours.

[reezley]

Both births for me were fast. But the second was so much better of an experience. First - decided I was feeling contractions at home around 9:30pm? Went to hospital (midwife-assisted) ds1 was born at 7:53am. Intense contractions and painful quick pushing, and I had pretty bad tearing. Second birth - quicker. Thought I might be having contractions in the morning, went to the midwife office so they could check (why did I do that?!) and yup, they sent me to hospital, I got there around 11:30, ds2 was born about 2 hours later. Either the contractions really were not as bad, or I was just not as surprised by them and felt more in control. I was more relaxed (relative term!!) and coherent through the pushing, and had no tearing. I hope you also have a better experience the second time around.

[Romana]

Jennica, you know if I have my baby before you (likely) I will share my experience with you. My 2nd birth had a period of rapid dilation at the end (about 2-3 hours to go from minimal dilation to holding my baby), although the total labor was 18 hours. I too feel like I have no idea what to expect here with #3. I would far prefer a more gradual labor like I had with my first baby.

My baby is also low (the midwife remarked on it today - I'm 29 weeks now). So, for the moment, we have a few things in common. I really hope the Birthing from Within class is helpful! I haven't been able to settle on a class.

[turnquia]

My first birth was super fast. 2.5 hours from first contraction to delivery. I had one hour of water being broken with no contractions. so if you count taht it was 3.5 hours. Oh and an hour of my time was pushing... so I went from first contraction to pushing in 1.5 hours. EEK!

My 2nd was easy as pie 9 hour delivery. LOL I went backwards! I'm expecting fast with these twins for some reason

[rparker]

I haven't had my second birth yet so I can't speak to that, but my first birth was 6 hours and it was not incredibly painful. Parts of it were uncomfortable and transition freaked me out quite a bit, but overall it was mostly intense. Your next birth doesn't have to be painful even if it is just as short (or shorter).

You mention in your post that there were other factors that made your birth traumatic and that you were interfered with (I assume by hospital staff) and felt frightened. A lot of women have painful births under similar circumstances without having their labors be particularly short and I suspect that those other factors had a lot more to do with how painful your birth was. The power of the fear-tension-pain cycle really can't be overstated.

My birth was also a hospital birth, but my husband did a really, really good job of preventing hospital staff from interfering (or even talking to me) and I had close to zero interventions. I also had no idea how fast it was going because I only had 2 cervical checks: one in triage and one before pushing. I think that feeling securely supported and safe went a long way in making my birth not very painful.

You're going to have a home birth this time so you're likely to have a really calm and supportive atmosphere in which to birth in... you're less likely to be made to feel afraid and tense by the actions of those around you so you're less likely to experience the same level of pain.

I read both Birthing From Within and Hypnobirthing (although I think Hypnobabies is similar) during my last pregnancy. Honestly I had to stop reading BFW because it was making me feel like childbirth was an inherently painful process that could only be "coped" with through various external techniques. The explanation of contractions and the 2nd stage of labor in Hypnobirthing was really reassuring and helped me to understand and accept what was happening once I went into labor. The hypnosis part was pretty useless for me, but the advice on how to physically relax and let go of tension was really good. Since you're going into this labor with the memory of a previous painful experience, some of the fear release techniques for use during pregnancy that both Hypnobabies and Hypnobirthing have might help you to better prepare for this next birth. I also found that reading the birth stories in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth really helped me to be in a more relaxed state of mind prior to birth (and I am in general pretty uptight and anxious). Something geared specifically toward relaxation and release of tension--like a yoga class--might help even more than a childbirth preparation class.

Your body has already given birth once and in a very efficient manner. Now that it's had practice it should be an even smoother process this time. You'll be birthing in a safe, familiar place with people who support natural birth. You can totally do this

[quelindo]

My first birth was very intense and painful -- 4.75 hours from the time my water broke (with no other symptoms) to my son being born. I felt that it was an incredible and rewarding experience, though, despite the pain.

I'm due with my second, too, and wondering what this one will be like. I'm hoping for the same amount of time or less but slower and less and intense. Despite feeling empowered by my short homebirth I do feel as though I weren't in control of it, if that makes sense. I'm hoping to feel more aware and in control, as much as possible.

[starlein26]

I dilate VERY quickly too and that didn't change in any of my labors (roughly 4 hours from nothing to 10cm)...but what has changed for me was the length and intensity of the pushing phase. My first I pushed for a little over two hours, my second was roughly 5 minutes and my last came out in 2 pushes (like 1-2 minutes). With my 2nd and 3rd births, I experienced extreme pain/panic/screaming during pushing. Whereas my first was the good ole bearing down/can't help but push feeling.

[jennica]

Thanks for all the comments, this helps a lot.

rparker,

My problem with hypnobirthing is it seems like they think that birth is not inherently painful. I just can't wrap my head around that concept after last time. I feel like I would be trying to convince myself of something that I know is not true. My coping technique with pain will be to focus in on it and relax. Accept it and let it go, without trying to give it too much notice or trying to pretend it is not there. I've heard that BFW is really good for people who have had previous traumatic births, and from what I've read it seems to jive with my personal philosophy the best. They teach some hypnosis as well and I am really looking forward to that aspect of the class because I think it will be helpful to learn to relax in that way. I am also considering prenatal yoga. Yoga is really a good technique for me and helps me relax my body (meditation and hypnosis are not so good for a few unrelated reasons).

starlein26,

I only pushed for 30 minutes. I really enjoyed the pushing stage actually (though I was still somewhat panicky due to the situation, the pain itself was much better at that point). I felt like I finally was working with my body instead of against it. I hope the pushing goes okay this time too.

[honey-lilac]

My first birth was about 6 hours from start to finish; 2.5 hours of that was pushing out a compound presentation baby. It was fast but not super painful or anything. I mean it wasn't painless but not overwhelming.

My second birth was about... 2.5 hours start to finish, slightly more painful but not crazy bad either.

[Right of Passage]

Originally Posted by jennica

Thanks for all the comments, this helps a lot.

rparker,

My problem with hypnobirthing is it seems like they think that birth is not inherently painful. I just can't wrap my head around that concept after last time. I feel like I would be trying to convince myself of something that I know is not true. My coping technique with pain will be to focus in on it and relax. Accept it and let it go, without trying to give it too much notice or trying to pretend it is not there. I've heard that BFW is really good for people who have had previous traumatic births, and from what I've read it seems to jive with my personal philosophy the best. They teach some hypnosis as well and I am really looking forward to that aspect of the class because I think it will be helpful to learn to relax in that way. I am also considering prenatal yoga. Yoga is really a good technique for me and helps me relax my body (meditation and hypnosis are not so good for a few unrelated reasons).

starlein26,

I only pushed for 30 minutes. I really enjoyed the pushing stage actually (though I was still somewhat panicky due to the situation, the pain itself was much better at that point). I felt like I finally was working with my body instead of against it. I hope the pushing goes okay this time too.

I want to respond to this. I did hypnobabies and scoffed at the thought of painless birth, scoffed in general about hypnosis. Every time I did the scripts I would mentally say "managable pain" instead of "painless" because what a crap load. Painless birth? What a joke! I did not practice hypnosis during childbirth but I ended up having a painless birth.

I was amazed, over the moon, on cloud 9, just wow. I'm still fascinated by my birth experience. I keep questioning myself "did that really happen? was there really no pain?" and all I can say is yes. Doesn't mean it wasn't intense, because it was very intense, but more like the best orgasm you've ever had instensity. I don't use orgasmic to describe my birth that's not quite what it was, sensual is what I usually say.

The only thing I can suggest for a better birth (the only thing I did different from DS2 to DS3) was say yes to every contraction. With every contraction my body put itself on hands and knees against the birth ball and rocked me all while I said "yes baby, I love you baby" I really felt the love.

[Vespertina]

My last birth was *very* intense. I only had 10 contractions. I don't even call it labor. The first 5 contractions I thought could be the start of something. I didn't really consider it labor yet since I only had 5. Then I started leaking blood. Alerted my midwife. Both babe and I were checked. This whole time I was on the phone with my mom. My cervix was swollen and bleeding. Just before my midwife had me roll on my left side I told my mom we'd call her when things got going.

Well, a minute or so after rolling onto my side I felt a pretty decent contraction. 10-15 secs later another contraction and then 3 more and he was out--legs still closed when his head was born. 5 contractions in roughly a minute. I don't recall having contractions from the time I alerted my midwife to when I rolled onto my side.

From the time labor started to birth was 15 minutes. Went from 6 cm with a swollen cervix and babe at -2 station to birth in 1 minute. We were all shocked. It was absolutely wild.

*I should note that I start labor late (5+ cm) so that contributes to it.