Free Range vs. Helicopter - Page 2

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by doriansmummy

Just thinking about what the other mom may be thinking and I hope I do not offend you, just some thoughts.

-Has your DD has any fights with the other child which could cause concern for the mom?

- Is your DD a thrill seeker and maybe it scares the mom?

- Do they get into trouble together?

- Does your DD maybe say bad words or not follow the rules at there home?

And as other said maybe she had a bad experience or knows someone that did. She might just be more comfortable keeping an eye on the girls. I am wondering why it is bothering your DD so much? Any specifics? Is the mom mean or just too strict?

Again, I am not saying you DD is doing any of the above. I just have been in a situation similar to this (my son is 7) and some kids we know are too ruff to leave alone with my son.

No to your first four questions. I don't know if she has some personal experience that makes her uncomfortable. This is her only child due to infertility problems, and she was conceived by IVF. That's all I can think of. I've never had infertility problems so I'm not really aware of if or how that would affect parenting style. She hasn't told me about anything like an abuse history or anything, but of course she might very well not tell me. She isn't mean, as I said she's a very nice person and a friend, she's just very cautious. But my dd is not rough at all, or a thrill seeker or a fighter, or anything like that. And they play together really well.

Edited to add that honestly, I don't think her reasons are relevant from the standpoint that she doesn't need my permission and can make these choices herself for her child, and I don't need her permission and can make these choices myself for my child. I am not judging her choice or questioning whether she has a reason for it.

I have decided to very gently tell her that my dd likes playing with hers but doesn't like having to stay in one backyard. I'll tell her when it comes up naturally, and I'm sure it will soon because summer vacation will be here soon. I don't want her thinking my dd doesn't like hers, as I think that would hurt more.

[AllisonR]

Originally Posted by mamazee

Edited to add that honestly, I don't think her reasons are relevant from the standpoint that she doesn't need my permission and can make these choices herself for her child, and I don't need her permission and can make these choices myself for my child. I am not judging her choice or questioning whether she has a reason for it.

I have decided to very gently tell her that my dd likes playing with hers but doesn't like having to stay in one backyard. I'll tell her when it comes up naturally, and I'm sure it will soon because summer vacation will be here soon. I don't want her thinking my dd doesn't like hers, as I think that would hurt more.

This all makes a lot of sense. Sounds like you have a really good plan here. I'd be interested in how it turns out. Sometimes it is hard to bring up certain issues with friends "in the right way", so if you come away with some good feedback or ideas, I'd be interested in reading.