Developmentally appropriate (mis)behavior for 3-year-olds

[crwilson]

Does anyone have good articles/reading recommendations on developmentally appropriate behaviors (or misbehavior) for 3-year-olds, especially regarding sibling rivalry?

Here's a bit of background: I have a 3-year-old dd who is quite spirited, and a 4-week-old dd. DD1 has exhibited a number of behaviors recently that I expected - she's sometimes too excited/rough with her new sister, she tantrums more often, she doesn't listen to us as often, she whines. I see all of these behaviors as normal (though not desirable) reactions to the interruption in her life. My DP, on the other hand, thinks that we have the only 3-year-old who acts this way and that dd1 is the only sibling who has ever hit her baby sister. He believes that we've done something terribly wrong with dd1 for her to act in the way that I've described. Any help you could provide would be much appreciated - if not articles, then just sharing your own experience with sibling rivalry and general 3-year-old behavior. Thank you!

[ssh]

It's completely normal for 3 year old to act out anytime they feel stressed. My DD has no younger siblings but when she was 3 and had playdates she would often start pushing, grabbing or throwing stuff when she becoming tired of sharing her space. Now imagine constantly having to share your space and your mommy. It must be really annoying and kind of scary when you're that little.

Most other moms that I know that have more than one have dealt with siblings hitting and being rude to each other. Sometimes increased tantrums and acting out begin during the last part of pregnancy.

[SallyN]

https://web59.mysecureserver.com/ges...publications/#

Your Three Year Old.

she sounds perfectly normal to me too!

[amandaleigh37]

My 3yo had never EVER hit or pushed another child, until his baby brother arrived. I agree that it's normal. Her whole world is shifting and will take time for adjustment. I do understand how unsettling it is though. There was a grteat article about this in the prev. issue of mothering

[boigrrrlwonder]

Completely normal. Exactly what's been happening in my home.

[nina_yyc]

Happened to me too. Exactly what you are describing.

[thelocknestmother]

We are living parallel lives...DD will be 3 in July and DS is 4 weeks old.

[crwilson]

Thank you so much for sharing! I'm glad we're not the only ones - I really did think that it was quite normal, although not a desirable way to behave.

We seem to have turned a corner with the hitting at least. Whenever there's an incident, I calmly take baby into my bedroom and close the door and don't allow older dd in until she's calmed down. We haven't had any hitting in three days now. She's actually starting to show some impulse control, too. When she starts getting to wild, she actually sends herself to her room for some quiet time.