Three weeks ago, my two year old daughter and I moved out of state to live with my boyfriend. The first week was a little rough, as my daughter got adjusted to her new surroundings and her new stepfather, but my boyfriend was very patient and very understanding and now she adores him. I thought everything was going great until last night..
My boyfriend was sitting on the reclining chair playing with my daughter. She was draped over his lap and he was tickling her, and both of them looked so happy that I took out my camera and took a few pictures and said that I was going to post them on Facebook. My boyfriend got upset and said he didn't want them posted on Facebook. I thought he was joking, so I said it again, and he got more agitated and reiterated that he didnt want me to post them and that I couldn't post them without his permission. I made a face and said "what is your problem?" and he replied "everything was fine until you came in here taking pictures."
He asked to see the pictures, and I showed him. After viewing them, he said he did not want me to post them. I said "fine..Ill just delete them. I guess posting pics of you and your step-daughter on the internet isn't "metal" enough" (He was a lead singer in a death metal band for 15 years and has a public persona of this screaming, angst ridden, drunken party man.)
Later on that night, he apologized. He said he was exhausted (which was true..he'd only had 3 hours of sleep the night before) and that posting the pics made him feel vulnerable. I pressed him as to what he meant by "vulnerable" and he said that he still hadn't adjusted to all the way to being a step-father..that it was a huge change from his "before" life. I asked him if he felt embarrassed to have his friends (who all have kids) to see him playing with my child, and he said "I don't know."
I don't understand it...he is 37 years old, all his male friends have children and none of them are embarrassed to put pics of their kids up. And to be fair, my boyfriend has posted pics of my daughter by herself or standing next to him on Facebook. I don't understand what the difference was with posting pics where he was actively playing with her is. Why is he embarrassed to post pics of him being a nurturing father-figure, but he has no problem posting pics from college when he was bloated and drunk and looking like a mess? I feel kinda insulted and I am actually thinking about leaving him.
My boyfriend was sitting on the reclining chair playing with my daughter. She was draped over his lap and he was tickling her, and both of them looked so happy that I took out my camera and took a few pictures and said that I was going to post them on Facebook. My boyfriend got upset and said he didn't want them posted on Facebook. I thought he was joking, so I said it again, and he got more agitated and reiterated that he didnt want me to post them and that I couldn't post them without his permission. I made a face and said "what is your problem?" and he replied "everything was fine until you came in here taking pictures."
He asked to see the pictures, and I showed him. After viewing them, he said he did not want me to post them. I said "fine..Ill just delete them. I guess posting pics of you and your step-daughter on the internet isn't "metal" enough" (He was a lead singer in a death metal band for 15 years and has a public persona of this screaming, angst ridden, drunken party man.)
Later on that night, he apologized. He said he was exhausted (which was true..he'd only had 3 hours of sleep the night before) and that posting the pics made him feel vulnerable. I pressed him as to what he meant by "vulnerable" and he said that he still hadn't adjusted to all the way to being a step-father..that it was a huge change from his "before" life. I asked him if he felt embarrassed to have his friends (who all have kids) to see him playing with my child, and he said "I don't know."
I don't understand it...he is 37 years old, all his male friends have children and none of them are embarrassed to put pics of their kids up. And to be fair, my boyfriend has posted pics of my daughter by herself or standing next to him on Facebook. I don't understand what the difference was with posting pics where he was actively playing with her is. Why is he embarrassed to post pics of him being a nurturing father-figure, but he has no problem posting pics from college when he was bloated and drunk and looking like a mess? I feel kinda insulted and I am actually thinking about leaving him.
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