Very vivid imagination and fears

[physmom]

DD has an amazing imagination (15 months). She does pretend play most of the day and is always playing with her dolls, stuffed animals, etc. Normally, this is a very good thing! The one issue that has been coming up (and has been around, since she was very little) is that she seems scared quite a bit. She's always gotten frightened of jittery toys, for instance, but in the past I've been able to talk her through it and explain that they won't hurt her etc. She also had separation anxiety from very, very early on.

Most of the time it's stuff we've been able to deal with but the biggest problem is nightmares. Especially if she's teething or something she'll get a lot of nightmares on those nights and it's very hard to settle her down. She sleeps in our bed (even before we go to bed) and if she's really scared she'll go right to the door that leads to the living room and stand their screaming (we come immediately, obviously).

DH had the *bright* idea the other day to pull her doll's head off in the bathtub. He thought it would be funny... she did NOT and totally freaked out and had a number of nightmares that night (we talked about it later and he realized why that wasn't a good idea and won't do it again). But now she keeps remembering the incident and freaks out. She doesn't want to even see the doll again even thought it was one of her favorite ones before.

I use this incident just as an example, but I'm kind of struggling on how to help her through this. She's not at the point where we can sit down and talk about how nightmares aren't real. She understands A LOT and has a good vocab but this is just too far above her head at this point.

Another issue is that she wakes up a lot at night before we go to bed but then sleeps through the night after that. If we're there with her she's fine but she's scared to be by herself. This was something I really struggled with a lot growing up because I also had a very vivid imagination. My parents didn't really handle it very well and so I'd like to do something different but I'm not sure what. Any suggestions would be appreciated!!!

[ellemenope]

This is something that has been on my radar for awhile now. I was the most fearful child. I had a huge imagination. I remembered everything, specifically images, and I took everything so literally and seriously.

My DD is also showing signs of the same.

So, I have been thinking about this a lot and come up with a few things.

For one, I don't watch any TV while she is awake. I don't want to take the chance of that new scary movier trailer playing during the commercial break of American Idol.

I also think it might be wise for me to be very careful to seperate fantasy from reality. This is not really an issue right now, but I also wonder where to draw the line. Santa? Easter Bunny? I don't want her to believe for a second monsters really exist. (My dad use to tell me they did, referring to raspists and child molesters. I slept in my parents room till I was in high school!)

And, I try to explain everything she might not understand.

Right now, DD fears the vaccuum and water on the floor. She thinks that the vaccuum is going to "eat her feet". So, I demonstrated on Daddy that it was safe. She also got it in her head that any amount of water on the floor will make you "slip and fall". So, I showed her how to walk carefully and that she was safe on the rugs.

Unfortunatley, she is still deathly afraid of the vaccuum getting her feat and slipping on a wet floor.

But, one thing I learned from the two above examples is to watch what I say, because she so takes it to heart. All I said was, "watch your feet," and, "you can slip on water and fall." That was all it took.

On the flip side, I have the most imaginative little girl in the world.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by ellemenope

This is something that has been on my radar for awhile now. I was the most fearful child. I had a huge imagination. I remembered everything, specifically images, and I took everything so literally and seriously.

My DD is also showing signs of the same.

So, I have been thinking about this a lot and come up with a few things.

For one, I don't watch any TV while she is awake. I don't want to take the chance of that new scary movier trailer playing during the commercial break of American Idol.

I also think it might be wise for me to be very careful to seperate fantasy from reality. This is not really an issue right now, but I also wonder where to draw the line. Santa? Easter Bunny? I don't want her to believe for a second monsters really exist. (My dad use to tell me they did, referring to raspists and child molesters. I slept in my parents room till I was in high school!)

Yes, that sounds very familiar. My parents weren't as AP so I was made to sleep on my own from early on, which lead to oh so many sleeping problems with me. I had insomnia for YEARS due to bad dreams, etc. up until I got pregnant with DD. Thankfully, it's seem to have gone away now, but it was never a fun struggle with me.


We've been bad about TV lately with her, I'm going to try and become more strict with that. That's a good point.

Originally Posted by ellemenope

And, I try to explain everything she might not understand.

Right now, DD fears the vaccuum and water on the floor. She thinks that the vaccuum is going to "eat her feet". So, I demonstrated on Daddy that it was safe. She also got it in her head that any amount of water on the floor will make you "slip and fall". So, I showed her how to walk carefully and that she was safe on the rugs.

Unfortunatley, she is still deathly afraid of the vaccuum getting her feat and slipping on a wet floor.

But, one thing I learned from the two above examples is to watch what I say, because she so takes it to heart. All I said was, "watch your feet," and, "you can slip on water and fall." That was all it took.

On the flip side, I have the most imaginative little girl in the world.

That's basically what we've been doing with the obvious things (like the toys that scared here). It seems to be working so far but I'm still not sure what to do about the dreams.

And I totally love her imagination for all the good times! I just wish it did have the bad parts too. I guess that's part of growing up, I can't protect her from everything but I can be as understanding and loving when something does happen.

[mom2ponygirl]

Originally Posted by physmom

It seems to be working so far but I'm still not sure what to do about the dreams.

Our daughter was another little one full of imagination. Now she is an 11 year old who writes totally awesome stories. LOL

What helped her with the vivid dreams was having her talk about a warm memory or special wish before bed. She would remember something that made her very happy like a special time with mommy and daddy, or imagine riding a unicorn over fluffy clouds, etc. As she got a little older, she also started listening to audio books as she went to sleep. Always of books she had already read or heard. She sets the timer on her cd player/clock and fills her head with the familiar story.

Quite frankly, nothing worked well when she was 2 and under except cuddling in mom and dad's bed. By 3 and 4, relaxing routine and listening to familiar stories or discussing familiar daydreams decreased her nightmares considerably. They definitely seemed to happen in spells, probably during times of rapid development.

Oh, and our little dog started sleeping on her bed when she was about 6. Company helped. LOL