1st Birthday Party - Need your opinions?

[BlueWolf]

So my daughters first birthday is coming up in July. I know it might be a bit soon to start planning it, but with the way my family is, I need to have them put the party date on the calendar asap or most of them wont be free.

I'd like to have a family only party with just cake and ice cream and presents for the birthday girl. My problem arises with the guest list.

Option A -

Host party at home (condo). There would be 15-16 people including myself, DH, and birthday girl. I can comfortably fit that amount of people in my condo.

Option B -

(All of my daughters great grand parents are alive with the exception of one grandfather)

Invite all the same people from option A but include great grand parents as well. This would end up being 22-23 people. My condo is too small to comfortably host this amount of people. I don't have enough seating nor the room to put up enough seating for that amount of people.


My daughter is the first great grand daughter for 3 out of 4 sets of great grand parents. Some of them might not be alive for her 2nd birthday. So, I'm really torn on what to do. I don't have a party place for option B nor the finances to host it at something like Chucky Cheese (gag).


**I could ask my MIL if I could have it at her house. The problem with that is I'd lose control of my daughters first birthday (which is important to me) to my MIL. She's a party manic, so she would want things her way including the guest list. I really don't want to invite extended family. Maybe for her 2nd birthday and beyond, but not her first birthday. I want it to be intimate.**

Does anyone have any suggestions or insight? I'd greatly appreciate anything at this point.

[sugarpop]

Ok so I definately think option B. Could you start a conversation with your MIL

"So I have DD birthday all planned, the cake I want, the perfect theme, I even have the invites almost ready to go. I am stuck, I want to invite Great Grand parents but don't have the room. I am so excited to do this for my daughter, I want it to be just immediate family and the Great Grandparents, but there is a problem I was hoping you might help me with...do you think I could use your home? I am planning it for such and such a date at such and such a time. I WANT to keep it simple, just cake and ice cream and I want to keep the focus on DD."

My thought being if you have it ALL planned and she hears that from you then maybe she will try not to step on your toes too much.

[tzs]

could you do it outside, like at a park or playground?

[cristeen]

Honestly, I'd invite them and just host it at your place. What's the likelihood that every single person is going to make it?

Do you have a yard? Honestly, I wouldn't expect a July party to stay indoors at all. Have some blankets to lay on the ground, maybe borrow some benches or outdoor chairs from a friend/relative.

But I've never been to a casual party where there was enough chairs to go around. People either sit on the floor or stand/walk around.

[Chamomile Girl]

I'm having this same thought-process right now. And all plans aside I just have to say:

Awwww...can you believe our kids are almost a year old?? Sniff!

I agree with asking your MIL to have it at her place. But in this senario you are going to have to give up some control to her. Be zen with it. I figure that for a first birthday it is much more about family then about the child since they are not going to fully understand what is going on. You are right that it is very important to honor the great-grandparents with an invite; and I think that this trumps the annoyance factor of sharing planning with MIL.

Above all enjoy the planning process and think about all the great family pictures you'll have!

Just to share my story it looks like my DS's first b-day will be shared with his aunt's 60th b-day. I was a little tense about this at first but I think that will be pretty cool in the end. The only real drawback is that I have to figure out how to get an icecream cake large enough for all the extra people!

[BlueWolf]

Originally Posted by sugarpop

Ok so I definately think option B. Could you start a conversation with your MIL

"So I have DD birthday all planned, the cake I want, the perfect theme, I even have the invites almost ready to go. I am stuck, I want to invite Great Grand parents but don't have the room. I am so excited to do this for my daughter, I want it to be just immediate family and the Great Grandparents, but there is a problem I was hoping you might help me with...do you think I could use your home? I am planning it for such and such a date at such and such a time. I WANT to keep it simple, just cake and ice cream and I want to keep the focus on DD."

My thought being if you have it ALL planned and she hears that from you then maybe she will try not to step on your toes too much.

I like this approach to my MIL. She plans awesome parties so I'm not worried about her running things, so much. I'm really just wanting to keep the guest list under control. I have a feeling she'd want to invite her sisters, but if we did that we'd have to invite my moms sisters. And that's a lot of Great Aunts and Uncles! It would go from a manageable amount of people to a huge huge party. I can't afford to feed that many people cake and ice cream

Originally Posted by tzs

could you do it outside, like at a park or playground?

I was thinking about this. Maybe renting a pavilion at the park or something. But then I'm having to contend with weather and other park going people. Our parks are swarmed with little league teams around June-July.

Originally Posted by cristeen

Honestly, I'd invite them and just host it at your place. What's the likelihood that every single person is going to make it?

Do you have a yard? Honestly, I wouldn't expect a July party to stay indoors at all. Have some blankets to lay on the ground, maybe borrow some benches or outdoor chairs from a friend/relative.

But I've never been to a casual party where there was enough chairs to go around. People either sit on the floor or stand/walk around.

I live in a condo and it's not a ton of space. There's no outdoor area other than my tiny balcony. Plus, my place isn't good for indoor/outdoor party transitions as I'm on the second floor.

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl

I'm having this same thought-process right now. And all plans aside I just have to say:

Awwww...can you believe our kids are almost a year old?? Sniff!

I agree with asking your MIL to have it at her place. But in this senario you are going to have to give up some control to her. Be zen with it. I figure that for a first birthday it is much more about family then about the child since they are not going to fully understand what is going on. You are right that it is very important to honor the great-grandparents with an invite; and I think that this trumps the annoyance factor of sharing planning with MIL.

Above all enjoy the planning process and think about all the great family pictures you'll have!

Just to share my story it looks like my DS's first b-day will be shared with his aunt's 60th b-day. I was a little tense about this at first but I think that will be pretty cool in the end. The only real drawback is that I have to figure out how to get an icecream cake large enough for all the extra people!

Oiye.. finding zen with my MIL. That's always been a hard one. I'm really hoping I can find a good balance. I think I'll talk to her and see if she's even open to the idea first and foremost. If things get out of hand, I guess I can always reel it back in? Maybe...

[LaughingHyena]

Do you need to have everyone at the same time? If not you could just let people know they can drop in between X & Y times and that you will be cutting the birthday cake at Z time.

Of course if people are coming a long way then you may just end up with a longer party and feel the need to serve more than cake and ice cream which would defeat the point.

[BlueWolf]

Originally Posted by LaughingHyena

Do you need to have everyone at the same time? If not you could just let people know they can drop in between X & Y times and that you will be cutting the birthday cake at Z time.

Of course if people are coming a long way then you may just end up with a longer party and feel the need to serve more than cake and ice cream which would defeat the point.

Everyone is local with the exception of my moms parents who live 45 minutes away.

You guys gave some great advice and insight. So, I think I'm going to approach my MIL and see if she'd be okay with having it at her house. I'm going to offer having a cleaner come in beforehand so she wouldn't be stressed out with scrubbing the house top to bottom.. someone else will do it for her!

[Comtessa]

Originally Posted by BlueWolf

I like this approach to my MIL. She plans awesome parties so I'm not worried about her running things, so much. I'm really just wanting to keep the guest list under control. I have a feeling she'd want to invite her sisters, but if we did that we'd have to invite my moms sisters. And that's a lot of Great Aunts and Uncles! It would go from a manageable amount of people to a huge huge party. I can't afford to feed that many people cake and ice cream

We couldn't figure out how to keep the guest list small -- mom, dad, and FIL all have lots of siblings, and I'm close with many of my cousins, plus we're part of a big extended network of close community members too. We ended up sending out 89 invitations to the party. Our house won't fit that many people and our yard isn't set up for parties, so mom agreed to host the party in her backyard. Although I think she might not have agreed if she knew I was inviting like 200 people.

We couldn't afford to feed that many people, either, so we decided to have the party be a big potluck (and ask people to bring food instead of gifts). I think it'll work out. Unless it rains. Then we're in trouble!!! At that point, we'll just hope people don't mind sitting on the floor/walking around, because there won't be room for that many chairs. Honestly, I've never seen lack of chairs being a huge problem at a big, crowded casual party. I wouldn't worry about it!