I want to hear my OWN voice!

[frontierpsych]

Do you ever do something, and all the sudden, the voice of your mom or dad or husband chimes in inside your head, like you know exactly what they would say to you in that situation?"

"Those shorts are too short, missy!"
or
"Don't you think you've had enough beer?"
or
"Slow down, your driving is going to get us killed!"

I get that a lot, and I am sick of it. I have a tendency to rebel against other people and do things my own way. When I hear these voices, I want to do the opposite, even if I really should do what they are saying. I want to be able to hear my own voice tell me something in a calm, rational manner, that helps me do what I really feel is right instead of obeying or rebelling against somebody else. Is there any way I can do that? Or is may family stuck in my head forever?

[myjo]

It sounds like your brain chatter is really getting to you. I don't think it goes away, but you can learn to quiet your mind. One method is stream of thought writing. You write whatever comes into your mind no matter how stupid it seems. The garbage comes first, and then after about an hour (give or take) you start hearing your own voice and it spills out on the paper. I love this method. I've published poetry using it.

[chimomma]

Originally Posted by myjo

It sounds like your brain chatter is really getting to you. I don't think it goes away, but you can learn to quiet your mind. One method is stream of thought writing. You write whatever comes into your mind no matter how stupid it seems. The garbage comes first, and then after about an hour (give or take) you start hearing your own voice and it spills out on the paper. I love this method. I've published poetry using it.

That's a good idea! I've done that sometimes when attempting to write poetry, or when I feel there is a poem floating around in the air waiting to be caught.....but I never thought about doing it on other occasions. Maybe that method would also be really helpful when trying to figure out how to deal with a complicated situation or find guidance (from yourself) in many things that we feel unsure about. Thanks for posting this.

[MittensKittens]

Perhaps you can try acknowledging that voice. Listen to it, to what it has to say. Acknowledge it is not your own. And then think what you, as an adult with freedom of choice, really want. "Slow down, you are driving too fast," for instance

[Kivgaen]

Originally Posted by chimomma

That's a good idea! I've done that sometimes when attempting to write poetry, or when I feel there is a poem floating around in the air waiting to be caught.....but I never thought about doing it on other occasions. Maybe that method would also be really helpful when trying to figure out how to deal with a complicated situation or find guidance (from yourself) in many things that we feel unsure about. Thanks for posting this.

It sounds like a great idea, but I'm confused... What if your hands don't move as fast as your brain is moving. How do you record all of the thoughts at the speed that you are thinking them?

[myjo]

Well, you can't of course. Your brain moves way faster than your hands. But it is calming, and it does bring insights.

[chimomma]

Originally Posted by Kivgaen

It sounds like a great idea, but I'm confused... What if your hands don't move as fast as your brain is moving. How do you record all of the thoughts at the speed that you are thinking them?

If you don't record all of them, it is okay. I think the goal is not to record all the thoughts, but mostly to get them out. So that way you don't have the same thoughts swimming around and around cluttering up everything else. Once they are on the paper it is like they are physically out, you don't need them in your head anymore. Then you can see what is behind the initial chatter, then peel off the next layer to get closer to the bottom of it. Having the record of all the thoughts and the way they are connected would then be a tool you could analyze further if the process of writing them didn't already clear things up.

This is all theoretical since I didn't try it yet, but maybe I will very soon.

[myjo]

Originally Posted by chimomma

If you don't record all of them, it is okay. I think the goal is not to record all the thoughts, but mostly to get them out. So that way you don't have the same thoughts swimming around and around cluttering up everything else. Once they are on the paper it is like they are physically out, you don't need them in your head anymore. Then you can see what is behind the initial chatter, then peel off the next layer to get closer to the bottom of it. Having the record of all the thoughts and the way they are connected would then be a tool you could analyze further if the process of writing them didn't already clear things up.

This is all theoretical since I didn't try it yet, but maybe I will very soon.