dealing with his ex - need to vent

[kittymeow]

i´ve deleted this thread...sorry!

[Oh the Irony]

She made him miserable huh? That's his story. Keep in mind that he stayed with her for quite some time and that he has failed to set boundaries with his ex.

Run. This isn't likely to improve and I don't think you can lay it all at her feet--he had/has a role in the dynamic.

[kittymeow]

sorry again...

[violet_]

OhtheIrony is right that your BF has a role in the dynamic.

Does he accept these calls and emails and texts? If so, he's enabling the behaviour. But I know what you mean about the ex feeling like an extra child to have to take care of. We had a situation like that for a while until DH and I finally learned to disengage from her drama. We kept thinking if we could be nice and work with her and try to calm and reassure her that she would mellow. We were wrong. She will not mellow. All you can do is disengage and convince your BF to disengage. If he can't or won't, that may not bode well.

He needs to set boundaries that you two can agree on. Depending on the situation, this may mean no phone calls, or having a special crazy-ex-only email account so her stuff doesn't pop up all the time, or whatever will help you both disengage.

[kittymeow]

oooops

[Marsupialmom]

If she is suppose to be on meds for a mental illness and is not, this can be grounds for removal of those children.

What visitation and/or custody arrangement exist?

I don't know how long you and your bf has been together but if this has been going on for a while and he refuses to set boundaries with her it is time to move on. She will destroy this relationship too.