Just looking for some support and inspiration

[AnnaNova]

hello everyone,
i havent yet posted in this part of mdc, but i should have long time ago.
i have never been skinny, but right now looking back at my weight, id say i was in decent shape.
then i got married, and moved to the USA, didnt work for a year while i was going through immigration stuff, and gained a few pounds (i was super active before that, always had classes, jobs, gym, etc.). i figured not a big deal, ill start working and lose them...
then i got pregnant, gained even more weight that never went away. i mean seriously. you know that weight loss right after the baby comes - the baby, the water, and all that? well, i have Not lost a single pound afterwords.
my son is now 14 mo and im still FAT.
most of our pictures are motherless, because i do not want to be in them.
my husband took some pictures the other day in the park while i was chasing our son, and they almost made me cry.
i probably look at least 10 years older than i what i actually am...
of course i can cut back on how much i eat, but the biggest problem is that i feel super guilty about starting working out.
i work ft, and being away from my son for that much is KILLING ME, so any extra time is almost physically painful.
it's a vicious circle, and i dont know what to do.
my son deserves a healthy mommy that won't get out of breath just chasing him around the playground, and in my head i understand it, i just cant bring myself to do sth about it...

[425lisamarie]

Oh mama, I"ve been there s

I was over 200 pounds when my kids were born, after a life long battle with body image issues. Even when thin/in shape I struggled. Somehow I just decided i need to be healthy for me, for my kids, for so many reasons.

It's hard to start out. You have so far to go, what's one more day, week....I'll start monday, etc. Just pick now, whatever time of day it is, whatever you've done, haven't done and just start eating cleaner, breath fresh air, move with your babe, do it because you want to feel good, and be confident in yourself.

Modern food SUCKS. It's addictive, and it's everywhere. Same with fitness. You've gotta move every day. Chasing the kdis at the park is good, sounds like you do that. Couple that with a good diet. You can track calories with soemthing like fitday. Some diets have you believing you must stick to this very very strict way, or let you believe that if you "just eat this or that" you'll live forever and be skinny. You really do have to cut calories and just learn to have moderate portions. If you start to really struggle, up the calories a few days, then go back down to a "losing" amount. And i dno't mean go crazy, just you know the extra little meal you may need. You probably won't be hungry but need to adjust to what it feels like to just eat *enough* and not too much.

You know, I hated the pics of me too, but now I'm over it. It's weird seeing myself so big, but don't hide from photos you may be sad later. And then when you are fit and healthy and confident you can pass along your story to someone else struggling and say "see, I used to look like this, but I took back my health and you can do it too...."

Hugs mama, it's a journey, take it day by day

[RosemaryS-F]

Hugs to you. You sound like you need them!
I agree with the previous poster.
As far as exercise is concerned, my ideas are to get a pedometer and find out how much you are naturally moving each day. Just wear it all day. Try to fit in more steps at work. Aim for 10K steps a day, and you can probably get some movement in during breaks or lunch; I'm not sure what your job is.
Can you identify some "culprits" in your diet? Soda, coffee with lots of cream/sugar, bites, snacks, mindless eating, large portions? Can you start measuring (using measuring cups) what you are eating?
If you give more information, we'll all be able to do what we can to support you in this. You can do it.

[AnnaNova]

I'd say my biggest problems are lack of excersise - I do have a pedometer and I get about 6000 steps and also bigger than they should be portions and a lot of sugar. I am trying to mean myself off of sugar - I eat more fruit and that seems to help a little bit, but at work there's always sugar - candy, cookies, you name it and it's hard to resist, especially on a stressful day ...
At home we actually don't even have white sugar and if I make sth I make it with agave syrop or honey, but when it's something pre made it's like sugar doesn't exist if it's hidden...
And my biggest vice is ice cream... Can't resist the frozen goodness, just can't ... I started making more smoothies because they are sort of like ice cream but better .
And yes, it is overwhelming it's like I know it's going to be hard and that's why I'm procrastinating ... All the times I told myself I'd start tomorrow ....

[Three~Little~Birds]

Hi!
I couldn't read and not post. I am currently struggling with the same issues. I just started making changes only 4 weeks ago and it's an ongoing battle. I can't tell you how happy I am now that I started dealing with this. Like you, I put it off for way to long. My 3rd child is now 20 mos. old, and I hadn't lost a pound since her birth - maybe even gained a few extra
I basically started exercising more and eating less and it's working (
not like I am surprised that it is, as we all know that it is, but it feels so good to see results).

You can do it. It's almost like it is worse to not do it than to do it because you have it hanging over your head, nagging you. Once you start, even before you see results, you'll feel so good about yourself - it's empowering! Honestly, the hardest day is day one - and then it gets easier, day by day. So just do it. Do you ever get any breaks at your job? What kind of work do you do (if you don't mind me asking)?

I am in the process of coming up with a list to post for myself about why I need to exercise. So, on the days that I don't feel like doing it, I can just look on the list to remind myself. I initially started in order to lose weight, but that is now only ONE of so many other motivators. I want to have that awesome feeling when I just finished a workout, I want my kids to have a stronger, healthier Mom - THEY deserve it, I DESERVE to have good health; I want to live a long, long time. I try to remind myself that the hardest part about a workout is putting on my shoes and that I have never regretted doing a workout, but always regret not doing one. Some days I struggle with the food, some days with the exercise, but overall I am better than I used to be, so I focus on that. I am no longer seeking perfection, just improvement.

I understand completely about not wanting to miss any more time with your child. Could you wake up earlier than him in order to squeeze a workout in? What about after he goes to bed? Could you take hime for a run in a stroller? Could you do a DVD with him alongside you? As for the sugar, what about keeping protein snacks on hand (nuts, hard-boiled eggs, etc) so that when the other things temp you, you can have one of your snacks, instead of nothing at all.... I find salted pistachios and a Perrier particularily satisfying....

Good luck, and hugs to you. You have made a big step just by posting here. Way to go

[AnnaNova]

wow i really like that - if you work out you'll never regret it, if you dont work out, you will... ill use that as my motto i think.
i cant really get up earlier, i have to be at work at 7 am, and my son won't let me get up till about 530, he HAS to nurse before i leave, and i really dont mind that... i do administrative work in the local hospital, so most days theres a lot of running around involved, but it doesnt really seem to make much difference.
we went to our botanic garden today, its pretty sad how out of shape i am, i was pretty tired by the end...

[bronxmom]

One thing is to go easy on yourself. 14 months is not that long. Now seems like a really good time to start working on this and set yourself a goal of just being in a healthier place by the time he's 2.

You have a number of things going for you right now. One is that your son is becoming a toddler so you will naturally be a lot more active if you're following him around, lifting him a lot, playing with him. Second is that the weather is nice and the days are long. You can take him to the playground and for walks for a while after work.

This last month it was basically impossible for me to get to the gym. Because of my partner's schedule and my daycare being closed for a few weeks, I had my son basically all the time. So I committed to just being more active and promised myself I'd walk 10,000 steps/day. This is doing sooo much to get more activity into my day. If you walk 6,000 steps/day now, if you add 4,000 steps (just under 2 miles) then you will be burning an extra 175 calories day right there. That's not a lot but it becomes addictive. I bet once you start paying attention you could get up to more like 12,000 or 15,000 steps. For me walking to the playground, playing there, walking around the park and then heading home (in addition to regular activities) seems to do the trick. So after work, grab your son and head straight to the park for a few hours. I've also been walking him in the stroller to get him to sleep at night - or if he's getting fussy indoors or a little stir-crazy, we just head outside. It's so nice out right now that he really enjoys it.

Then, don't even think (yet) about trying to get to a gym during the week if you miss your son that much. But could you go each weekend day for an hour and do some weightlifting one day and something more intense aerobically (maybe a fun class) the next? You could sign your son up for swim lessons and dad could take him while you workout. Then on weekdays, try just every once in a while doing some squats, pushups and jumping jacks. Nothing too strenuous but just get moving.

Take baby steps and they'll feed on each other. In terms of food, sounds like the problem is boredom/busy at work and eating junk. The first thing I did when trying to lose weight was commit to stop eating candy bars. I'd been eating up to 3 peanut butter cups (the full bar) a day! I just quit candy cold turkey. It's pretty much the only dietary change I did to start and it made a HUGE difference. 3 candy bars (you probably aren't eating that much) is 750 calories! But even if you just cut one/day and you add in the steps that's 425 calories right there. Add in 2 workout sessions on the weekend and that's a pound/week without much in the way of drastic change. Then as you get stronger and healthier you can keep adding changes slowly. Your willpower and excitement will increase because you'll feel better and it's easier to eat better and be active when you feel better.

My story just in super-brief. I gained weight after my son was born so by the time he was 8 months old I weighed over 203 pounds. It got to a point where I was tired all the time, which I think is what fed the sugar cravings and I was just eating candy bars and grilled cheese a LOT. It got to the point where I got breathless walking around the block. It was pretty depressing. I started going to the gym and could only do the treadmill for 15 minutes. But I built up to 30-40 minutes and then got into lifting. I cut the candy, then scaled back on other junk, then started watching portions. Once I started the small steps, I lost about 15lbs pretty effortlessly. It was like my body was ready to drop the weight once I started working with it instead of against it. Then I dropped the next 15lbs also pretty easily. At that point, about 3 months in, I was ready to become more serious about things and that helped me to continue to lose weight but at a slower pace. Only in the last month, I've started tracking on daily plate and love it and the weight is still coming off. I've lost 50lbs in the last 8 months with about 15 more to go. I feel like a totally different person and I don't feel deprived. I have so much more energy for the toddler years.

You can do this. You don't have to leave your son to do it but over the months, and as he gets older, carving out a few hours week to dedicate to more intense workouts will help a lot. For now, start with baby steps.

My number one recommendations would be to stop the candy bars (don't worry about other calories - candy's hard enough) and commit to 10,000 steps/day. Then take it from there.

[Three~Little~Birds]

I agree with bronxmom - baby steps are a great idea. Don't overwhelm yourself!

[chiromamma]

425Lisamarie is a true inspiration. From obesity to fitness model physique. I read everything she posts on this forum.
OP...can you workout during your lunch break? A lady at my office is the caretaker for her mother so when she goes home she has NO time...just like you.
She joined a gym near the office, and takes her lunch hour to go and exercise. She often skips break times so she can have more time at the gym. She then eats a light lunch at her desk or a healthy sandwich in the car on the way back from the gym.

[Happiestever]

I'm with you in spirit mama. Baby steps and day by day. Life changes aren't easy, especially if they're good for you LOL.

[lil_earthmomma]

I've been there. I'm not 425lisamarie yet, but I'm getting there. I've lost 60 lbs so far, and have about 20 more to go!

I have never worked out in a gym.

Things you can do with your babe:

Walk. Walk walk walk. With a stroller or wearing your babe.

I do a workout with my 18 month old, and the coolest part is the bigger he gets the stronger I get!

I start with squats and lunges while holding ds in front of me with my arms out straight, parallel to the ground. Then I lay on the floor and lift him off my chest till my arms are straight. Then I move to the couch, and sit down on the edge and hold him out straight in front of me and twist to each side. Great for the abs and arms. Then I lift him above my head and back, and then pull him back down to my lap. Then I lift him behind my back and lift straight up behind my head. Then I stand up and holding him under his armpits I put him down (without letting go) beside my left foot, then lift him above my head, then put him down beside my right foot.

[chiromamma]

Originally Posted by lil_earthmomma

I've been there. I'm not 425lisamarie yet, but I'm getting there. I've lost 60 lbs so far, and have about 20 more to go!

I have never worked out in a gym.

Things you can do with your babe:

Walk. Walk walk walk. With a stroller or wearing your babe.

I do a workout with my 18 month old, and the coolest part is the bigger he gets the stronger I get!

I start with squats and lunges while holding ds in front of me with my arms out straight, parallel to the ground. Then I lay on the floor and lift him off my chest till my arms are straight. Then I move to the couch, and sit down on the edge and hold him out straight in front of me and twist to each side. Great for the abs and arms. Then I lift him above my head and back, and then pull him back down to my lap. Then I lift him behind my back and lift straight up behind my head. Then I stand up and holding him under his armpits I put him down (without letting go) beside my left foot, then lift him above my head, then put him down beside my right foot.

I love this. You should make an exercise video!