or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Bad etiquette or too sensitive? Party related
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Bad etiquette or too sensitive? Party related - Page 2

post #21 of 89
Just wanted to say as well, the PP who was trying to think of any underlying reason for her being so rude - I don't think there could be a reason! Just because you have allergies etc you can still manage to be polite about it!
post #22 of 89
wait. youve never met this guest and DP before? she helped herself to YOUR pantry.

this is waaaay beyond rude.

i cant imagine anyone doing this. OMG!!! it leaves me speechless.
post #23 of 89
I'm a health nut. It doesn't bother me if someone doesn't want to feed their kid junk food. But her actions were rude. She didn't need to eat your food, but the rooting through your stuff and insulting your food was rude, not to mention taking advantage of the premium food she got her hands on.

When I'm a guest somewhere, I choose from the food I'm offered. If for some reason the hostess offered special food (happened kind of recently, DD spotted a mango she wanted), I'd make sure the food was appreciated, the serving fully eaten (I ate the rest of the mango when DD was done), and none more requested!

The whole asking where she could get more food nearby was like flaunting her insult for your food.

And I second the PP about the salad... your salad was too greasy? What the heck?
post #24 of 89
Huh, would've saved you time if she'd told you "my kid will only eat junk food and I only let him eat junk food that comes with a label that lets me feel less guilty."

That kid is going to end up with orthoexia AND a junkfood belly.
post #25 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
That was seriously rude.

I brought some snacks to a meeting the other day - I was on the run, didn't have time to get anything from a nicer store, but bought seed and dried fruit mix....and some chocolate covered almonds (just cuz I thought it would be nice).

A woman I offered them to said "Oh, I don't eat drugstore chocolate." (It was a grocery store, not a drug store, but I felt...ugh...so just kinda..left)

I get how you felt. Rude, rude, rude and with no graciousness.
Pleeeeeeeaaase please please please please take a box of Godiva to a meeting and be sure to tell her you got it at a grocery store and that you couldn't possibly let her have any. Please????


(To be perfectly honest, I did manage to lose 15lbs at one point just by only eating fancy dark chocolate (okay, hershey's special dark instead of snickers, ), so I would probably have declined the almonds too at that point, but if I said anything beyond "no, thank you" it would've been "I'm only eating dark chocolate right now, although those do look yummy, more for everyone else!"
post #26 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Huh, would've saved you time if she'd told you "my kid will only eat junk food and I only let him eat junk food that comes with a label that lets me feel less guilty."
post #27 of 89
You were beyond nice and she was beyond rude.. I would never have her back..
post #28 of 89
In most situations I try to see it from the other person's point of view but truly this has me baffled. This woman was extremely rude. I would not call your response sensitive at all. She was rude and nasty.
post #29 of 89
She was completely rude. However, it seems like you were really eager to have her and her son eat something, anything. Maybe she thought that not feeding her kid at your party was making you uncomfortable, so she'd better find something acceptable. I would never offer to leave my child's birthday party in order to cook a grilled-cheese. I'd assume that everyone coming to the party would know the type of food and would either eat it or not.

I don't take it personally when people don't eat my food, and I don't bend over backward to offer them alternatives. If they are that picky, they should bring their own food to begin with. Maybe that's why I'm never gossiped about as being a really awesome hostess.
post #30 of 89
Rude, crude chickster. Oh and obviously has boundary issues. Seriously, who goes into other people's cabinets scrounging for food? And 3 bowls of ice cream? GMAFB.
post #31 of 89
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the great replies. To top it all off, I received a very mean spirited email from her today telling me that she is insulted I called to tell her I was offended just because she didn't eat our pizza. I was told I am too "thin-skinned". She mentioned the amount of travel time she and her family had to make to come to the party and mentioned they stayed longer than they cared to AND, to add insult to injury, she reiterated the fact that she does not eat greasy food because it makes her stomach queasy. And felt the need to mention again that organic pizza is better than conventional pizza.

I replied that I think she needs to read a book on class because she does not have any and in addition to no longer being welcome at my home, she is also not a friend of mine and need not contact me further. I also deleted her on facebook. Just don't want that negative energy and attitude around me.
post #32 of 89
Okay, I really, really wanted to see her point of view, because we're usually the people at parties that can't/ won't eat the food. (My son has several allergies/ sensitivities) but she was over the top. I am sorry you had to go through that! We always bring a few snacks with us and we would have been thrilled with how many options you were attempting to provide. She seems a bit nutty. Sorry
post #33 of 89
She was TOTALLY rude, you are correct there. But I don't understand why you called her to tell her she was rude? That in itself is not very polite. How did you expect her to respond? Next time, just make a mental note to never invite the person over again, and leave it at that.
The party sounds great, by the way. We love pizza and ice cream!
post #34 of 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdie B. View Post
She was TOTALLY rude, you are correct there. But I don't understand why you called her to tell her she was rude? That in itself is not very polite. How did you expect her to respond? Next time, just make a mental note to never invite the person over again, and leave it at that.
The party sounds great, by the way. We love pizza and ice cream!
yeah, that's where you lost me too. Saying things to her like she is no longer welcome in your home? She needs to read a book on class? and then you defriended her because you don't need someone negative like her in your life?
post #35 of 89
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdie B. View Post
She was TOTALLY rude, you are correct there. But I don't understand why you called her to tell her she was rude? That in itself is not very polite. How did you expect her to respond? Next time, just make a mental note to never invite the person over again, and leave it at that.
The party sounds great, by the way. We love pizza and ice cream!
I see your point but I called to tell her I was offended. I didn't call her to tell her she was rude.
post #36 of 89
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by artgoddess View Post
yeah, that's where you lost me too. Saying things to her like she is no longer welcome in your home? She needs to read a book on class? and then you defriended her because you don't need someone negative like her in your life?

Yes, I said these things to her after the email I got from her post our telephone conversation. I stand by the email response to her and I am okay with it.
post #37 of 89
I'd be irritated by her not mentioning anything beforehand, but then going through your pantry and helping herself to food (also by the multiple helpings of ice cream).

BUT in regards to her comment, you *asked* her why she didn't eat what you served. If you didn't want to hear the response (I mean, really, couldn't you have guessed that she had some sort of problem with what you were serving since they wouldn't eat any of it?) then you shouldn't have asked the question.
post #38 of 89
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by prothyraia View Post
I'd be irritated by her not mentioning anything beforehand, but then going through your pantry and helping herself to food (also by the multiple helpings of ice cream).

BUT in regards to her comment, you *asked* her why she didn't eat what you served. If you didn't want to hear the response (I mean, really, couldn't you have guessed that she had some sort of problem with what you were serving since they wouldn't eat any of it?) then you shouldn't have asked the question.
That's all fine and all but her response was rude. She could have said, "I don't eat conventional pizza" or "I don't eat pizza." Period.I don't have a problem with honesty but I do have an issue with nastiness particulary when it is not necessary
post #39 of 89
I feel that it's a bit of both rudeness on her part and over reactions on your part.
  • Going through your pantry was definitely rude. She may have been clueless enough to view your offer of "can I find you something else" to be an open invite to the kitchen.
  • Calling the pizza "greasy" was more blunt than out right rude. Pizza often is greasy, even if it is good pizza. Speaking as someone with gallbladder issues, it is different from the fat in ice cream in how it can effect the stomach, so I wouldn't necessarily doubt her concern over it upsetting her stomach.
  • Eating 3 bowls of ice cream being rude or not depends on whether everyone was being offered extra servings of ice cream and the only reason it bugged you with them was b/c it was different ice cream, or if all the other kids were only served one serving of the regular ice cream. If the other kids were being offered all the ice cream they wanted, then it wasn't rude for them to take a similar amount, but if everyone else got one serving then the regular ice cream went away, extra servings for one kid was rude.
  • Wanting organic versions of "junk" food is not inherretly rude. Many people aren't overly concerned about the fat and sugar calories that people have used for generations, but are bothered by the very scary chemicals in our food. It probably mostly seemed rude b/c she was already being rude by going into your pantry and the way she said it.
  • Calling her to tell her she offended you was rude.
  • She may have thought your family normally ate organic ice cream and generally ate organic (she saw what was in your pantry after all) and thought that you had only bought non-organic food for guest. This may have felt rude to her, she may have felt like you didn't feel your guests were important enough to have your usual expensive organic food.
  • Emailing her back is an unnecessary escalation of matters. Just marking the email as spam so you filters would catch any future emails would have been sufficient.
post #40 of 89
She was rude at the party (although I wouldn't ask a guest why they weren't eating the food offered, I would just ignore it), but you both are contributing to the situation at this point.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Bad etiquette or too sensitive? Party related