Gently enforcing nap/quiet time

[smeisnotapirate]

DS is 23mo. He is a great sleeper at night, a HORRIFIC sleeper during the day. He will stay up, screaming and whining and fighting, no matter if there's nothing going on, until he hurts himself and cries to sleep or until he just collapses from sheer exhaustion - usually around 5pm, which means we can't get him to sleep until well after 11pm. Many days, he refuses to nap at all, and is a mess from about noon onwards.

We really need this naptime (both him and me), especially now that my DD was born last weekend. I don't mind if it's just rest time or quiet playing time or whatever, but I have no idea how to enforce something like that. We have connected bedrooms with no door between DS's room and the master bedroom, so I can't very well lock him in his room for a certain amount of time (even if that didn't make me really uncomfortable).

Any ideas?

[JMJ]

To do that gently, it is going to take all the patience you can muster, something that is certainly difficult with a new baby around. Be easy on him and on yourself while you're working on it.

I would focus on creating an environment that will set him up for success rather than creating a power struggle. Create a routine that he can count on. A sample would be something like after lunch, all the lights get turned off, the curtains closed at least part way to reduce the amount of light in the house, turn on soft music or calming noise, and Mommy and new baby lie down for a while. He can play where it's safe, look at books, or rest. He can be in his own room or in cuddling with Mommy.

If he makes a lot of noise, softly tell him that it's quiet time... over... and over... again... He may not completely understand at first, but you're not fighting him. You're just giving him an example of how you would like him to act and providing information for him to make a positive decision. Soon enough, he'll be ready to understand.

[Xerxella]

I'm probably going to be ducking, but I'll just tell you what works for us. Find something really special that he can only have if he's laying down quietly in bed. For us (here's where the flames come) it's the bottle. He only gets a bottle at nap time and only if he's lying in bed. Sometimes he falls asleep sometimes he doesn't, but everyone gets a break. He used to ask for naps everyday, now most days he says he's not interested anymore.

So, I'd find something I was comfortable with and make it that special event. Would you be willing to put him in front of the tv and put on a video, something calm like those sock puppet ones with classical music? How about some special slow snack? A slow sippy with juice? Good luck.