Won't eat lunch at school - gets cranky

[MamaCAS]

Here is the dilemma: 6 year old girl used to eat her lunch as expected at kindergarten. For the past few weeks, her lunch comes home almost completely intact. When asked, she offers various explanations: too little time, couldn't open the thermos, friend keeps talking to her, can't find her spoon,etc...

She comes home and quickly becomes cranky, emotional, and quick to fight with little brother, a likely result of being hungry.

Any ideas how I can help us avoid all this frustration?

[OboePlayerMom]

I would have a snack to hand her as she gets into the car. Something with some protein to bolster her up a bit. My DS is also in K, and he really just gets distracted at lunch sometimes. On the days he doesn't eat much at lunch, he's really crabby by the time I pick him up.

Another more long-term solution may be for her to pack her own lunch. Have acceptable items that she can choose from each morning to put in her lunch box (or the night before).

[chlaal]

My 7yo is like this but his excuses are more consistent: almost always "I ran out of time" which can be odd when it seems like all he did was take two bites of his sandwich and maybe drink his milk. I think it is mostly distraction, chatting with friends, etc. plus the small amount of time they actually have to eat.

I don't know how it is in your area but around here they have a ridiculously short lunch period. I think they get like 15-20 minutes and in that time the teacher has to get all the kids into the cafeteria, get them through the line (for those who are buying lunch), get everyone seated, they eat, then she has to get them to put everything away and out to recess. I realized that I was letting my son buy milk in the caf because he wanted to get the "school lunch" experience, but that gave him less time because he had to go through the whole line. So now I pack a milkbox and he can (supposedly) just go right to sit down and start eating. It helps a little bit anyway.

Anyway so my point is, maybe find out what the process is at lunchtime at your daughter's school, and see if you can figure out what the bottleneck is. I know that here a bunch of parents complained about how little time the kids have to eat, and the school administration did respond by making some changes to the system.

Otherwise if it's not that, your only other recourse is to make sure she gets a big breakfast and then have a substantial snack on hand when you pick her up. That's what I do because both of mine are always STARVING when I pick them up -- even my little one who generally does eat her whole lunch!

good luck!

[One_Girl]

My dd was doing this for a while so I changed what I sent with her so she wasn't eating the same types of foods. I brought a snack when I picked her up. When she started eating the schools hot lunch I found that she didn't have that problem anymore. If your lunches are a healthy alternative then that might be something to try.

[nextcommercial]

It is sometimes hard to eat much at school before the lunch lady sends them outside.

It's possible someone made a snarky comment about her lunch, and she doesn't want anybody to see it, so she doesn't take it out and eat.

Or she's not hungry at lunch time.

I would send a few SUPER easy things in her lunch. Even if it's in addition to what you normally send, and maybe she wille eat those things.

My daycare kids would come home, and finish what was in their lunchbox after school. Sometimes, they would eat it on their way home. But, through the course of the day, they usually ate it.

[pianojazzgirl]

OK, since my dd started school last year (pre-K, she's now in Kindy) the ONLY comment on any of her report cards was that she takes too long to eat lunch!!! So we've had a lot of almost-full lunch boxes coming back home.

I agree with trying some new foods and going with sure winners. In our case a sandwich might come home uneaten but crackers and cheese will get gobbled up. Of course I'd rather have her eating organic whole grain bread than crackers, but at least she's eating something! I have also stopped putting a juice or soy milk box in her lunch and am now sending her water bottle instead. I found she would always drink the drink box first and then run out of time before she had eaten something and would be ravenous by the time school was over.

[claras_mom]

Dd would eat sandwiches for awhile, then stopped...lately, I've been sending everything in small, easy to eat, servings and separately: a little container with cheese cubes, some crackers, some applesauce, carrots and/or strawberries. She has a morning and an afternoon snack at pre-k and is still hungry when she gets home.

[MamaCAS]

I'm going to try some of these -- especially letting her pack her own lunch! Thanks so much for thinking on it with me!

[velochic]

I'll add something else, in case you come back to read again. Dd talks at lunch and used to not finish her lunch.

Then I started making Bento boxes for her. (There are hundreds of resources online for these.) She got interested in her lunch again.

I cut everything into bite-sized pieces and gave her cute little forks to eat with in a colorful and interesting pattern.

This year we've been using the Planet Box, so I haven't done Bento lunches as much (some for snacks), but she's 8 now and passed by that "talking-at-lunch-is-more-fun-than-eating" phase when I started giving Bento Boxes. She is not a picky eater *at all*, so it wasn't the food, it was the socialization.

[craft_media_hero]

Idk. My kid would never eat at school, either. She just was way too distracted with all the noise and other kids and needs like an hour for each meal versus the twenty minutes they were allotted. I would bring a protein snack and juice at pick up like pps said.

It became a pretty big issue that was affecting my dd's health and behavior and was one reason that we started thinking about homeschooling. It seemed like she went a whole year without eating lunch, and combining that with the very short time we had for breakfast in the morning . . . bad news!

So I don't know the answer except bringing snacks at pick up. Maybe an ensure or spirutein shake in the box that she can suck down quickly? Good luck!

[MamaCAS]

I could get her a new bento box too. I got annoyed when she lost it and haven't replaced it so maybe that would be more exciting than the tupperware she currently gets. I sometimes cannot believe how much thought I put into lunch -- I recall eating alot of bologna sandwiches on brown bread packed in a used cellophane bag.

[claras_mom]

Yes, with an orange (which I wouldn't always eat) and a thermos of milk...which I constantly forgot to rinse. Learned about the curative powers of baking soda and vinegar pretty early... :

Breakfast was easier for my mom as well. She got up and cooked something; we ate it. I don't know if my siblings and I were "easier" kids than dd is, or if we just were given fewer choices--and didn't expect more.

Back on topic. Dd needs a new lunchbox--hers is older than she is and starting to smell in ways I can't eradicate--so I think I'll check out the bento boxes.