When I say blow off I don't mean blow off DD though!
It will be DD's 1st birthday in about a month! We are obviously very excited but DH and I are in complete disagreement about what to do for it.
1. I think we should have a party with family and friends, nothing too big maybe 10-15 people max. Cake etc, nothing fancy just grilling and relaxing and maybe playing a game or two.
2. DH wants to go to Mystic Aquarium with DD (for those of you familiar with it). He wants to make a big day out of it for the 3 of us and make it very special.
The reason he doesn't want to do the first is because his mother has never ever gotten over her divorce with his dad. His father remarried to a lovely woman (his parents have been divorced for over 10 years mind you) who is extremely kind and has no problem with DH's mother. Unfortunately DH's mom is unstable (posted about her in another thread) and hates this woman,blames her for their divorce (DH's father didn't even know his future wife at the time) and freaks out (cries, hides in her room) at the mere mention of this woman's name.
Due to logistics there are only 2 places we can have the party (no public places are realistic) MIL's house where we are living at the moment, or FIL's house with his wife. I would like to do it here where we are living but we are afraid DH's mom won't even consider letting the "other woman" into the house. However, DH's mom will absolutely refuse to go to DH's dad's house, thus basically screwing everyone over like she always does in situations like this (my baby shower was a mild disaster because of her and the other woman" being there).
All this is why DH wants to just blow everyone off and go enjoy our little family and DD's big day. I wouldn't mind doing this but I really want to have a party for my moms because they aren't the problem and neither is DH's dad or step-mom. I think it would break my mom's heart if she couldn't see DD on her birthday (she missed my wedding and baby shower). I was thinking that we could just talk to DH's mom and tell her that basically we would be really honored if we could have the party here and if she would even bake a cake for the party (she used to be an amazing cake maker) BUT we would be inviting DH's Dad and wife because they are a part of our family and deserve to be there regardless of her issues. No negotiating that point, I want them to be there if we have it here. If she says no we were thinking of just saying "well thats too bad then because we will be having it at DH's Dad's house and you are of course invited and we really hope you come!"
OK, this is getting long, but I just don't know which is the better of our 2 options. As usual MIL is making things hard but we are running out of time to hem and haw about what to do...So any suggestions and if you read this far THANK YOU!
It will be DD's 1st birthday in about a month! We are obviously very excited but DH and I are in complete disagreement about what to do for it.
1. I think we should have a party with family and friends, nothing too big maybe 10-15 people max. Cake etc, nothing fancy just grilling and relaxing and maybe playing a game or two.
2. DH wants to go to Mystic Aquarium with DD (for those of you familiar with it). He wants to make a big day out of it for the 3 of us and make it very special.
The reason he doesn't want to do the first is because his mother has never ever gotten over her divorce with his dad. His father remarried to a lovely woman (his parents have been divorced for over 10 years mind you) who is extremely kind and has no problem with DH's mother. Unfortunately DH's mom is unstable (posted about her in another thread) and hates this woman,blames her for their divorce (DH's father didn't even know his future wife at the time) and freaks out (cries, hides in her room) at the mere mention of this woman's name.
Due to logistics there are only 2 places we can have the party (no public places are realistic) MIL's house where we are living at the moment, or FIL's house with his wife. I would like to do it here where we are living but we are afraid DH's mom won't even consider letting the "other woman" into the house. However, DH's mom will absolutely refuse to go to DH's dad's house, thus basically screwing everyone over like she always does in situations like this (my baby shower was a mild disaster because of her and the other woman" being there).
All this is why DH wants to just blow everyone off and go enjoy our little family and DD's big day. I wouldn't mind doing this but I really want to have a party for my moms because they aren't the problem and neither is DH's dad or step-mom. I think it would break my mom's heart if she couldn't see DD on her birthday (she missed my wedding and baby shower). I was thinking that we could just talk to DH's mom and tell her that basically we would be really honored if we could have the party here and if she would even bake a cake for the party (she used to be an amazing cake maker) BUT we would be inviting DH's Dad and wife because they are a part of our family and deserve to be there regardless of her issues. No negotiating that point, I want them to be there if we have it here. If she says no we were thinking of just saying "well thats too bad then because we will be having it at DH's Dad's house and you are of course invited and we really hope you come!"
OK, this is getting long, but I just don't know which is the better of our 2 options. As usual MIL is making things hard but we are running out of time to hem and haw about what to do...So any suggestions and if you read this far THANK YOU!
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