Breaking the news to your child

[Laurel]

My 7-year-old ds is currently in public school. After months of deliberation, I've decided that next year we will homeschool. I have no issue with our particular school, I am just unhappy with public, mainstream education in general. (We will be Waldorf-inspired.) My ds is pretty happy in school. He doesn't love school itself, but he does love his current teacher, and he especially enjoys the time with his friends.

He knows that homeschool is on the table. He's heard me talk about it many times over the past year. At the beginning of the year, he seemed excited about the possibility of homeschooling, but as the year has progressed, he's made comments that lead me to believe he will not be entirely enthusiastic. My opinion is that this mainly has to do with his friends. He loves recess and lunch and being able to play outside with his friends. Ironically, his over-emphasis on friends is one of the reasons I want to homeschool him. I feel that he needs to be pulled back into the family circle a bit more, to be more connected with us. Obviously I still want him to keep his good friendships too, I just feel like he is extremely obsessed with friends and overly influenced by them. This isn't the only reason I want to homeschool, but it is part of it.

So, if you pulled your child out of public school, how did they react? If they initially reacted negatively, did they end up having a good experience homeschooling? How did you actually sit down and tell them of your decision? How did you decide on the right time to tell them? I'm not planning to say anything to him until school is out for the summer, and I may wait another month or so after that. I'm just trying to figure out this conversation in my head.

He will still have contact with his closest friends, and other friends, though church, Cub Scouts, etc. His two best friends live in our neighborhood, and he can still see them often in the afternoons.

[akwifeandmomma]

I think you're smart to wait until a few weeks (or more) of summer vacation have passed.

It might be an easier transition when he realizes learning at home means a LOT more time to choose for himself how to spend his days.

We tried a charter immersion school with our DS1, and pulled him out a few weeks into 1st grade. At first he wasn't thrilled, but quickly realized the pros of being home outweigh the cons (which to him were 2 -- no recess & no p.e. class *shrug* ) of being in school.

[Believing God]

One thing that you mentioned in passing was that he really likes his teacher. He understands he will not have the same teacher next year, right? As far as the friends go, I think you're smart in wanting to pull him back into the nest a bit. I'm so thrilled that my older two have little idea about what is trendy amongst kids their age. Only being able to play with their friends in the afternoon limits some of the playground drama that can occur, especially among girls. I think once you are into the school year a little bit, your son will not even notice the drop in time spent with his friends - especially since they don't really spend that much time together during school hours, any way. My son was constantly getting in trouble for trying to socialize, and is so much happier now.

[HeatherB]

My DS wasn't in public school, but was in preschool before we decided to homeschool. He really was worried about the idea of not seeing friends, etc., even though he wouldn't have been with the same kids, anyway.

I would be prepared with the various activities, social occasions, playdates, groups, etc., he'll be able to enjoy. And I do think waiting a few weeks may work well for you. I would probably approach it with the idea of how excited I am that he's going to get to do so many new things next year - that we get to do them together! And then address his concerns as they come up.

[One_Girl]

My dd wasn't doing that wonderfully in PS this year so she was very happy to be pulled out, but it has been tougher to keep our connection rather than easier. When she was at school and with her friends she was happier to spend time with me at the end of the day and I had a lot more energy and desire to put into connection time. Getting out once a week really helps a lot.

[lauriem33]

I second the suggestion of waiting until well into summer before telling him. Once he gets into the swing of summer and being at home doing things with family vs. typical school days, the idea of lunch and recess & all the social aspects of school will have less of a pull. Certainly much less than they would if you said on the last day of school, "We're homeschooling next year!" and he's still thinking in that friend/school mode.

It seems to me that it's a much easier transition to begin homeschooling as a continuation of summer "vacation" than at any other time of the year. Plus, he's young enough to not be so firmly entrenched in the friend thing as to not be able to let it go, which gets harder the older they get I think.

[Savoir Faire]

Homeschool is one big recess! YAY!

(Sorry...not much help. I'd have to "break the news" to my kids if I put them in school.)