We are in the waiting families pool right now. We have been waiting 6.5 months in an African American/biracial program. When we first started looking into agencies, the estimated wait at our current agency was 9 months. By the time we finished our homestudy, the average wait was 1 year. The last time I checked in with our worker she said 'it is not unusual for for our families to wait 1.5-2 years'. That was very dissapointing... I can't imagine still waiting a year or more from now.
Since the very beginning our worker (and her supervisor) have been pushing for us to be 'open' to both programs. I am Cuban and bilingual. Our dd is Mexican. She feels that given that information we are very likely to be chosen by a hispanic birthmom, and be chosen more quickly.
We were foster parents for 5 years and open to children of all races. We would be open to hispanic or aa children now, but the issue here is that the caucasion/hispanic program is more than twice the price of our current program. In the end it is REALLY expensive and not something we could afford. Not to mention both of us have moral objections to the huge jump in price and everything that goes along with it. We (dh even more strongly than I, since I have a certain level of desperation that clouds my otherwise moral stance) feel that by paying the higher prices, we are adding to the statistic of families are willing to pay higher prices for 'white' babies therefore keeping such a system alive. Not to mention that once you are in both programs, you pay the higher fees regardless of which program your baby comes out of.
All that is fine and good, but I really really really want our baby. NOW. I am so anxious and desperate and going out of my mind at the prospect of waiting another year +. I am honestly not sure I can do it. What is complicating matters now is that FIL gave us a very generous gift to 'help bring his grandchild home sooner'. It does not cover all of the additional expenses, we would need to put in an additional 6k to cover all the additional expenses. So dh and I are in serious discussion mode. If it were up to me I would throw morality out the window and do anything to bring our baby home sooner. Dh is really super uncomfortable with this and doesn't want to give in to the other program. There is no guarantee that we will get matched any sooner, and we still have a statistically higher probability of being matched through our current program. So we might be spending twice the price to be exactly where we are now.
Dh says that if, in 6months we are not matched yet, he would be willing to do both programs. That would have given us a year in this program. But the key word is willing; he does not want to. He is happy where we are, waiting as long as it takes. Clearly I am going out of my mind! LOL! So what is the right thing to do here? How do we handle this situation?
Since the very beginning our worker (and her supervisor) have been pushing for us to be 'open' to both programs. I am Cuban and bilingual. Our dd is Mexican. She feels that given that information we are very likely to be chosen by a hispanic birthmom, and be chosen more quickly.
We were foster parents for 5 years and open to children of all races. We would be open to hispanic or aa children now, but the issue here is that the caucasion/hispanic program is more than twice the price of our current program. In the end it is REALLY expensive and not something we could afford. Not to mention both of us have moral objections to the huge jump in price and everything that goes along with it. We (dh even more strongly than I, since I have a certain level of desperation that clouds my otherwise moral stance) feel that by paying the higher prices, we are adding to the statistic of families are willing to pay higher prices for 'white' babies therefore keeping such a system alive. Not to mention that once you are in both programs, you pay the higher fees regardless of which program your baby comes out of.
All that is fine and good, but I really really really want our baby. NOW. I am so anxious and desperate and going out of my mind at the prospect of waiting another year +. I am honestly not sure I can do it. What is complicating matters now is that FIL gave us a very generous gift to 'help bring his grandchild home sooner'. It does not cover all of the additional expenses, we would need to put in an additional 6k to cover all the additional expenses. So dh and I are in serious discussion mode. If it were up to me I would throw morality out the window and do anything to bring our baby home sooner. Dh is really super uncomfortable with this and doesn't want to give in to the other program. There is no guarantee that we will get matched any sooner, and we still have a statistically higher probability of being matched through our current program. So we might be spending twice the price to be exactly where we are now.
Dh says that if, in 6months we are not matched yet, he would be willing to do both programs. That would have given us a year in this program. But the key word is willing; he does not want to. He is happy where we are, waiting as long as it takes. Clearly I am going out of my mind! LOL! So what is the right thing to do here? How do we handle this situation?
Sesa has a long history here and really got the run-around in her state's fc system. 
I'm SO SORRY to be saying that...I know how hard it is when a supposedly short wait just gets longer and longer and longer. Dd's referral only took 15 months, I think, but in the end it was a lot longer than that, because when we FIRST inquired, they told us to come back and apply in 6 months...things were moving that fast, and we didn't want a baby that soon. So yeah, we came back in six months, and all of a sudden the estimated wait was a year. Then it was a year and half. 
When you're in a waiting game, there's always an impulse to look around and see if there's a faster way, a greener pasture, etc. etc. etc....but if you look at all the reasoning you did to pick the program you did, I'm guessing you're right where you should be.
