TV use

[HokieGirl]

Hi all,

My stepdaughter just started living with us full-time. For the last 2-3 years, she has been with us every other weekend. THe issue is the TV - she has lots of outside interests and is pretty good about getting her homework done, but when she has some free time, the first thing she does is plop in front of the TV. How can I change this?

My primary issue is that I just hate having the TV on and wish we could get rid of it (but I do like West Wing and some thursday night TV). If it was just on for an hour and then off that would be fine, but it's channel surfing for a half hour here and a half hour there. Also, the only TV is in the only room that is fit to relax in right now (we're going through MAJOR house renovations), so that's also the room for reading, working on computer, etc.

My concern is that we didn't set any "house rules" when she started living with us full-time, so I'm trying to figure out how to handle the backlask when I say that we should limit TV time to 3 or 4 hours a week - since it hasn't always been like that, and since she has learned this little habit from her dad (grrrrr.)

Any thoughts, experiences, suggestions would be much appreciated. Dad/DH is willing to reinforce whatever strategy I come up with, but I just wanted some thoughts about how to broach the topic. Also - she didn't even have TV connection at her mom's - although they had a tv for videos.

Thanks

[barbara]

Well, I'm coming from an UNschooling perspective, so this may sound a little forgien to you. We have found that if we put limits on tv it becomes a point of tension and the "forbidden fruit" becomes even more desireable IYKWIM.

The unschooling mindset says that you don't set limits, although you certainly do share your concerns, views and prefrences. We have found (as have other unschooling families) that kids will go in streaks with tv and then get bored and find more interesting things to explore. I think with teens in particular, they really need to veg out sometimes and unwind their minds, especially if they have been sitting in a classroom all day. TV is a good outlet for this, even it doesn't seem like a "good" use of time.

Of course you have to decide what will work for your family, but I thought I'd toss this unconventional solution into the mix for consideration. Sometimes you have to pick your battles and with a stepdaughter, this just might not be the battlefield you need.

[calgal007]

Perhaps handle it with humor. Say, "Guess what, (name). I've got a secret. . . . the sound of the tv being on drives me insane!!!! Let's figure out a compromise about tv time that keeps us both happy."

See how she responds, but don't lose your own cool. They are SUCH BLESSINGS . . . :LOL

By the way, why is she living full time with you now? Is that part of her "tuning out" with the tube????