This is hard :( (nursing while pregnant)

[StoriesInTheSoil]

I'm 12 weeks along and nursing has recently started to get pretty difficult. There are times when I can handle it and times when I just can't. This morning, DS woke up at a time when DH is usually here to comfort him but DH had left early for work. DS nursed on both sides but then it started to hurt so I tried some other ways of comforting him and it didn't work, he screamed for a straight half hour. I tried lots of things but my coping mechanisms only go so far when I'm exhausted so after that 30 minutes of failed comforting, I let him nurse.

Now I have a renewed feeling of guilt for being pregnant too soon for him to cope.

Does anyone who has done this have any ideas of how to get a constant comfort nurser to occasionally accept another type of comforting? I do NOT want to wean him or push him in that direction.

[kcparker]

You're on the exact same time frame as I was with kids - my DS1 was born at the end of July '07, and DS2 came Nov. '09. Drop the guilt, mama - you are giving him the gift of a BFF, he just doesn't know it yet.

I had very painful, then merely teeth-grittingly irritating nursing sensations all the way through pregnancy. My experience was that I would nurse until I couldn't stand it, then count or sing a song and tell DS that he had to be done when the song was over or I got to 20 (or 3 on some days). Limiting the nursing to certain times of day worked too as the pregnancy progressed - these were "special nursing times," and I made a big deal out of them, invited DS to nurse, snuggled with him and gave him 100% attention. I would tell DS that boobies were tired, or not feeling very well, and that they couldn't nurse for very long sometimes. And sometimes, he'd just have to cry or be sad when we had to stop, or I told him that we couldn't nurse at the moment. Crying a little won't kill them, and it's not like you're abandoning him, just saying that the breasts are temporarily unavailable.

Alternate comfort methods: sing a song, cuddle, read a book together, baby massage, babywear (well, toddlerwear), give food/drink if the actual need is for that instead of just cuddling, go outside - distract, distract, distract.

[LadyCatherine185]

I am 14 weeks pg and nursing has become extremely uncomfortable as well. Over the course of about 1.5-2 months I nightweaned (he was still waking every 1-3 hours all night) and cut back his nursing to in the morning when he woke up, before and after nap, and at night before bed. The first week or so was tough, but I just kept him busy and offered snacks/drinks and it went really well. don't feel guilty! You are doing a wonderful thing for your baby, but sometimes you can't give them what they want everytime they want it. For us, rather than trying to comfort him in other ways, distraction worked MUCH better. Going outside to play, a favorite snack, reading his favorite book, etc began to suffice very quickly.

[Burnindinner]

I'm so sorry. It does suck sometimes - I have found some weeks get better though. And I totally understand the guilt of feeling like you are hurting your nursling by getting pregnant too soon. It is all hard.

Some days are easier with DS than others. Sometimes he will take a cup if he is hungry/thirsty. He does take a pacifier, so sometimes the snuggles and a pacifier will work for us.

I don't have much by way of advice, just a ton of empathy!

[tatsu15]

oh yes I've been there. I nursed my older daughter (born February 2008) while pregnant(my second daugher born April 2009) until about she was 12 months (she just suddenly weaned herself- she didn't like the taste anymore). But I remember I used to get ocular migraines... so strange. Drink lots of water!

Btw, what does DH, DS, DD stand for? I know it stands for our babies, but what exactly does it mean? Thanks in advance!

[peaceful_mama]

ohhh I know your pain! My dd was only 14 mos. when I had my first midwife-appt. with DS2. I CRIED while I nursed her on the table, I just *knew* she was "too young"....
We *did* go through some rough spots. One was approximately 8 weeks later, I was about 12ish weeks along, and my milk at bedtime was HISTORY. She, like your son, would take nothing else. My DH was at work in the evenings. There was a 2 week period I called my parents nearly every night to come take over for me. She would *eventually* settle when *I* was out of the picture.
.
What eventually worked? Well, I swore I would not resort to a bottle. I was NOT going to do it. But I had a DD who did not take *anything* else for a comfort-sucking object, she was not happy without a comfort-sucking object, and she was not happy to use a 'boo' that did not have a satisifying amount of milk!
So....I broke out an old bottle I had from before I stopped working.

It worked. And we still snuggled. And she still nursed at other times, like naptime, during the night, and other times in the day. She eventually did lose interest due to the lack of milk. But she got 21 excellent months!

I am currently pregnant while nursing again. My current nursling is 18 months old and showing no real sign of unhappiness or giving up nursing anytime soon, even though he is about 98% nightweaned. He, however, has used his thumb for comfort since maybe 3 months old? So the transition is much easier on him I think. He was also a couple months older before I was pregnant again--I'm about 12 weeks now with an 18 mo. old where I was 12 weeks with a 15 1/2-16 mo. dd.
There are times where I especially can't stand having him play with one side while he nurses the other...have to put a stop to it then.
but overall it is going better this time.

It DOES get better. (Oh and I remember with DD this worked partly I think because she was younger, I started wearing a bra at night so she COULDN'T mess with the other nipple while nursing. This would not work on DS2 who *knows* and is not happy without 'full access nursing.')

[rparker]

My daughter is a year older than your son, but what helps when our morning nursing session gets too long is to force myself to get out of bed and prepare her other food. Did you try offering a sippy cup of milk, soy milk or juice? My daughter's non breast milk liquid intake has gone way up since I became pregnant. Whole milk yogurt has also become a daily morning staple.

[Biscuits & Gravy]

What about wearing him? That is the only other way my own DS can be truly comforted other than nursing. I have no personal experience, but I've heard that an onbuhimo is great during pregnancy.

My older DS was not quite 2, then over 2 with my consequent pregnancies, so it was definitely different for us. Maybe finding something else that will comfort him along with nursing will help.