How you plan to tell the family/world

[DaddyM]

My wife and I have been discussing over the last week how to tell the family then friends.

Right now our idea is to tell them we are giving them a delayed mother's day gift (because we aren't quite ready to break the news) and get a "grandparent brag book" with photos of them with our daughter Paige. Then on the last page, put a picture of all of us with Paige holding a BFP.

That is our current plan, now we want to hear about yours! Feel free to include how you told DH.

[annablue]

I wanted to call my mother immediately; however, she happens to be visiting in mid June, so we're waiting to tell her in person. (But I talked to her on the phone yesterday and it was agony not saying anything!) She loves herbal tea and has a large mug collection, so I'm getting her a nice stoneware mug with Grandma on it, and wrapping it up and telling her it's a late Mother's Day present. Her face will be priceless!

As far as telling my husband... I wanted to do it "creatively" but the second he walked in the door from work, I couldn't hold it in and just told him! My original plan, though, was to put baby booties next to his work shoes, so when he went to put them on in the morning, he'd see the booties.

As for our friends, we've already told two close friends and are waiting until 12 weeks to tell our general social circle. I'm not planning on anything too fancy... we'll probably just say "hey guess what, we're expecting" and it'll spread by word of mouth.

[heamae]

With our first we just told everyone, our second we put a shirt on our oldest that said "Big Sister" and with our 3rd there was a b-day part for my grandma and we signed the card "and new baby D*** #3" That was really funny to watch it sink in and then travel down the table. This time I havent come up with anything yet. Im thinking the news is not going to go over so well so really not sure. Tomorrow I am going to be in a fashion show at my church and a lot of my family is going to be there. I think it would be cool to have the announcer say something about it while I am on stage but I think it might be too soon to tell EVERYONE!!! This would include all my church family too.

[soccerchic21]

I already told everyone I know. I can't ever hold this sort of thing in. Even with this being my third I am still so excited.

[paintedfire]

DF doesn't even know yet, but this board knows, the UPS guy knows, as does the boy who delivered my dinner (french food, my first meal as a (knowing) pregnant woman: mussels with garlic and white wine, french fries, and a frisee salad - yum!).

I already called the florist that is delivering flowers to my mom for Mother's Day and had the order enlarged and the card changed to "I hope you're ready to be called Grandma again."

(Short back story: my mom died when I was nine, quickly followed by my dad. After that I was raised by my (divorced) grandparents. They're my heroes. Thus: "Grandma again.")

That'll take care of the rest of the family. The can't keep a secret thing is genetic, you see.

I can't wait.

[U-Turn]

We always do the big brother/big sister shirt on the youngest, but this time, we only used it to tell dh's folks, who live with us. We're telling my dad (my mom is deceased) on mother's day. Everyone else is getting the following poem emailed to them (posted with some name changes for the internet's sake):

The U***** farm is just constantly growing
With more critters whose names you may want to be knowing.

Lady and Hobo are pups who play very hard,
But whose job, as they grow, will be only to guard.

To the farm, DS11 added his own oxen pair
Star and Bright will someday pull their share.

Piglets are always a fun new addition
Bacon and Chop will grow big, we’re a-wishin’.

There’s Rosie the cow whose calving in June
And Isabelle’s singing her own lullaby tune.

And last but not least, there’s another new name.
Though we don’t know it yet, we’ll tell just the same.

Our own little one will join us the first of next year.
Until then, you can just call it Baby #5, ya hear?

Thank you for joining in our little poetry fun.
But after a list like that, surely we’re done…for now!

[HopefulJo]

Memorial day weekend, I'll be 9+ weeks, and we're going to a wedding on DH's side, and then celebrating my dad's birthday with my side. As hard as it's been, we're waiting until then to tell our family. This is the first grandkid on my side, so I want to get my dad a "World's Best Grandpa" something. We're having a college-friends reunion two weeks later, when we'll tell all our friends in person, and the rest of the world.

A couple guys at work recently announced their wives were expecting, and I so wanted to say "Me too!", but then realized that dads sharing pregnancy news is totally different than moms. For them, all it means is "I'm taking a 2-week vacation months and months from now" and for me it's "I've got tons of appointments for the next year, pregnancy brain, exhaustion, and a months-long leave of absence coming up". Totally different implications. My coworkers are really cool, so I want to tell them- but I'm going to wait to have that conversation until June-ish.

[crunchynerd]

LOL not sure, with vocal 5 yo!

Went to see a neighbor... a very talkative neighbor who loves to carry news... yesterday, and my 5 yo DD couldn't contain it!

This time, there are certain relatives I would be fine with not EVER knowing, because on my side and DH's, there are some pretty churlish attitudes either toward having children at all, or else in excess of one or two. This being our third, I don't want to hear it, unless I get to thank the offenders for not having children, so that there is that much more room in the world for mine, because they would have sucked as parents anyway. Nothing like hearing relatives try to make certain you know that "A boy and a girl is perfect; now you don't have to have any more!"
I'm glad for them they either didn't have any, or quit with the one or two miserable examples they raised, but I don't want anything to do with them.
I really don't get why they even think it's their concern. I am not asking them to pay for my kids!

One auld hefer in particular, is so mean, I want to tell her, "Not to worry. You'll be dead long before my kids breathe up all your share of the world's oxygen!"

But I called my BFF the same day I got two lines, callled my mom, and called my DH at work. I envisioned doing something clever to tell DH, but couldn't contain it, plus he gets stressed out every time over whether we will be able to feed, clothe, house them, etc, despite the fact that we live so much better than any other single-income families we know. He would worry, I think, if we had a million dollars. Bless his heart.
So I didn't do anything clever. Which is good, because he can be Captain Oblivious, and putting booties near his work boots would fly right over him. Hints just don't penetrate with my beloved hubby!

[annablue]

Originally Posted by crunchynerd

This time, there are certain relatives I would be fine with not EVER knowing, because on my side and DH's, there are some pretty churlish attitudes either toward having children at all, or else in excess of one or two. This being our third, I don't want to hear it, unless I get to thank the offenders for not having children, so that there is that much more room in the world for mine, because they would have sucked as parents anyway. Nothing like hearing relatives try to make certain you know that "A boy and a girl is perfect; now you don't have to have any more!"

Ugh, I think comments like that about family size are so presumptuous and rude.

[SumnerRain]

I told everyone too, my sisters are excited as are all my friends (some are dissapointed it is just one, many wanted us to have twins). I dreaded telling my mom, and right on cue she says "oh Heather" and gets all sad. I am not sure why, but I don't think she has EVER been happy for any of us. She won't even tell me how my dad reacted, it was that bad.

I have a friend who is more excited that her teenager is pregnant than my own mother is about a child who had two parents, a stay at home mom, a stable income, lots of individualised attention, tons of sibling love. I was a teen mom, I lived on my own, the dad (my husband) stuck by my side and we raised the baby with minimal assistance. When our son was 1 we found out he had a son from the state he lived in previously, we brought him into our homes, I raised him like my own and later afopted him. We tried for 6 years to have ds5, we finally have him, and again, just like my older two, dissapointment from my mom. We try two years for #4, I do an IUI and it takes, I am overjoyed, my mom is bummed. When I tell her I am birthing at home, my parents act like they are going to disown me and throw it in my face that I am risking my "only daughter's life".

We have not told DHs family, but they don't even know we moved up to Washington state in March. They will be overjoyed for us, but we try to stay away from their drama.

I could never be one to wait, I have told random strangers since the day I peed lines.

[SuburbanHippie]

Heather, my mother is the same way. She hasn't been happy once. I'm terrified to tell her. If it was up to her, the human race would just quit reproducing and would cease to exist. I'm going to tell her tomorrow, on Mothers Day, just because I feel like there is a lesser chance of her flipping out this way.

[SumnerRain]

At least I am in good company. It helps knowing she hates ALL of us girls reproducing and not just me. I almost think she would have been child-free if she could do it all again.

[OvenSeeksBun]

It's Mother's Day today, so I'm giving her a "Grandma" card. This will be her first grandchild. Part of me wants to wait, but the rest of me knows I really can't...

I'll wait until the first tri is over before shouting from the rooftops though...

[crunchynerd]

Heather, that is just awful.
I can deal with relatives OTHER than my mother being disappointed in my motherhood, but I can't imagine what you are going through. That is really terrible.
And where does she get off?
I wonder what she would say, if you could just ask her point-blank, "Mom, why do you not want grandchildren?"

[crunchynerd]

Summerrain, your and Heather's mothers are really a puzzle, and I am so sorry.

My mother can be a pain when I am pg, but at least she's wholeheartedly happy for me!

Hey, I wonder if they are believers that the world will end when the Mayan calendar "runs out" or "restarts" (depending on your interpretation) in 2012?
Personally, I think the people who believe that are going to be left looking pretty silly when the next day dawns, much like the Shakers expecting the End in 1900 and the people stocking bunkers in preparation for Y2K.

Crickets chirping, pants down, face red.

[thebigfam]

I mc last time but everyone knew and not many (in my family) were excited. It was hard on the kids having the mc so we are waiting until we at least see a heart beat because we thought we were out of the clear at 13 weeks and we were wrong. so we are telling one person each who is sworn to secrecy and then we will wait till we see the beat.

Big momma

[voicegrrl]

Heather, sounds just like my dad. When I told him I was preggo with dd4 he said why did you do that? Then when I had a m/c last month and knew better than to tell him but let it slip he told me that was God's way of telling me I needed to figure out a way to stop getting pregnant. Lovely, especially since I'm an atheist and he knows it. The upside is that my mom (who has been divorced from him 2/3 of my life) is stoked and would love for me to keep having them, at least now that I'm married to the "right" guy. My first 3 were with my ex-husband. So even though I can't keep a secret to save my life when it comes to this stuff, I'm not telling my dad until we see him in July. I won't even tell him, he can just see my belly and think either I've swallowed a basketball or I'm pregnant. He is very resentful of having children young. He has this attitude that we ruined his life.

We had a funny experience the day we got our BFP. We woke up early on a Sat morning and DH mom and sister were here. I was late but had no reason to think I could be preggo, we'd m/c the last cycle and had been careful this one. But I was late and had a couple of glasses of wine the night before and got kind of panicky so I took a test I had and the preggo line was brighter than the control line and I totally freaked because I didn't know how it could have happened but was totally stoked because we were going to ttc the next cycle and now we didn't even have to go through all of that. Meanwhile our family is asleep in the basement. We went to the market and came back an hour later. They were just waking up and DH starts showing his mom all the stuff we got at the market and then says they had these on sale and shows her the 2 pos test and she says what are these and he said preggo test and she was like I don't need any of these and then he says you don't have an choice because we're pregnant and she was like OMG! She was half asleep and had no idea what he was shoving in her face but she was excited once she figured it out. Other than that there isn't much hoopla for us with #5. It's sort of like, yeah I'm pregnant again, what's new!! haha. Mostly everyone's reaction has been do you know if it's twins again and we're always like, um, not yet!

[lmevans]

Originally Posted by U-Turn

We always do the big brother/big sister shirt on the youngest, but this time, we only used it to tell dh's folks, who live with us. We're telling my dad (my mom is deceased) on mother's day. Everyone else is getting the following poem emailed to them (posted with some name changes for the internet's sake):

The U***** farm is just constantly growing
With more critters whose names you may want to be knowing.

Lady and Hobo are pups who play very hard,
But whose job, as they grow, will be only to guard.

To the farm, DS11 added his own oxen pair
Star and Bright will someday pull their share.

Piglets are always a fun new addition
Bacon and Chop will grow big, we’re a-wishin’.

There’s Rosie the cow whose calving in June
And Isabelle’s singing her own lullaby tune.

And last but not least, there’s another new name.
Though we don’t know it yet, we’ll tell just the same.

Our own little one will join us the first of next year.
Until then, you can just call it Baby #5, ya hear?

Thank you for joining in our little poetry fun.
But after a list like that, surely we’re done…for now!

There are several cute stories posted here, but this poem is great!


We actually told over Mother's Day weekend (it wasnt intentional, it just fell that way). I had made tshirts for the kids, took pics and made cards at Walmart. So we handed those out, and family seemed excited and happy I also told my friends, and I got hugs all around. We mailed the cards to family that is further away, and I havent heard anything yet, but we mailed them last Friday, so I have to give it some time.

[domesticeight]

LOVE the farm family poem!


I SO want to shout it from the rooftops!!!!!!I just called DH.He was sweet,exited since we've been pretty sure for a bit.Then we both worried cos his job isn't very secure at the moment.Sure to become a good thing we are certain.One of my little sisters is due next month,they tried for 3 years for this baby,and I don't want to invade her space,but I do want her to know and share our pregnant bond, so I'll tell just her before anyone elseWe'll probably tell the kids tonight and they'll tell everyone...we'll see.The trick will be NOT mentioning it on facebook...

[U-Turn]

Originally Posted by lmevans

There are several cute stories posted here, but this poem is great!

Originally Posted by domesticeight

LOVE the farm family poem!

Thanks! I haven't sent it out yet...we'll wait a bit I think. I usually tell everyone the moment I take the test, but this time, we're going to try to hold it in a little longer.