how do you put a child to sleep?

[mizznicole]

I am interested in how you get your baby to sleep if you do NOT nurse or use motion. We're you simply blessed with a good sleeper? Was it just their personality? Did you do something at a certain age?

I don't want to go through another horrible few years of sleep with my next child. Bed sharing has not been positive in the long run.

[mkksmom]

I nurse my dd and rock her almost all of the way down and then I put her in the crib, she rolls to her side and goes to sleep. If she fusses, I pat her leg or rub her back and "shhhh" and sometimes she will go back down. That's the closest I ever got. We're only getting mostly 2 hour stretches of sleep, so I plan to gradually put her down just a little more awake and see if that helps. The whole knowing where she is will help her sleep thing only worked until she was 6 months. Now she needs me, her paci, to nurse or to hold my hair to get to sleep.

[eclipse]

My dd never nursed or rocked to sleep. It was a huge shock to me after clingon ds 1. I was just lucky, really. One night when she was a few days old and I was exhausted because nursing to sleep wasn't working, I set her in the bassinet in order to close my eyes for a few seconds. I figured she'd be crying in a few seconds and I'd pick her up, but I woke up 5 hours later, with her still asleep, sucking on her hand. She was always a hand/finger sucker and I think that helped, a lot. I would nurse her for the last time at night, lay her down and kiss her, and she would wiggle around, stare at the blinds, and suck until she fell asleep. Sometimes she would let out a cranky little cry for a few seconds as she drifted off. She would get really, really annoyed and yell at me if I stayed in the room in her view, or attempted to parent her to sleep in any way.

[ssh]

For about 3.75 years I nursed my DD to sleep. Then for couple of months I just laid by her while she kind of wiggled herself to sleep. Then she decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed and we read stories and she held my arm until she went to sleep. Now at 4.5 she goes to bed, I'll turn on her nightlights say "be back in a minute", leave the room and she tells her babies or stuffed animal friends stories while going to sleep. Then she sleeps 10 hours.

Bed sharing was very successful for us. We have a secure child with no sleep anxieties who goes to sleep on her own when she's tired and then sleeps an adequate amount of time. We didn't really do anything at times our DD became a more independent sleeper, she just did.

[Boot]

I think a lot of it is just the luck of the draw. My first was really hard to get to sleep even with nursing, swaddling, etc. My second is much easier so far (11 weeks). I do use a pacifier though. At this point I simply put on a lullaby CD, turn off the lights, swaddle her, pop in the 'dummy' and kiss her night night. She does cry a few times when the dummy falls out but I just put it back in and she goes right off again. This is only for the first hour. Until recently I rocked her before putting her down but she doesn't even seem to need that any more. She's almost always awake when I leave the room.

I think that you just have to work with the personality of the child you have but be aware that they may surprise you so keep trying different things - like the pp whose baby fell asleep sucking their fingers.

With my first I read so many books and asked all my friends, desperate to find the magic solution but really, it was just time. Now, with my second, I know not to feel smug about her good sleeping because it's really nothing to do with me (she didn't even inherit it from me, I'm a crummy sleeper like DS).

[Aufilia]

With DD, I always nursed & rocked her to sleep when I was around, but eventually, somewhere between 9 months and a year, she stopped nursing totally to sleep. So then I started putting her in the crib drowsy but awake, with one of her crib toys on. Sometimes she'd throw a big fit and wake up, sometimes she's wake up and turn on her crib toy again, sometimes she'd just go to sleep. In the middle of the night she almost always just went to sleep. We never coslept with her; neither she nor I could actually sleep if we were listening to the other.

With DS, he was less nursing-oriented from the start. I do mostly nurse and rock him to sleep, but one day around 3 or 4 months I nursed and rocked and rocked and nursed for 2 hours at bedtime, got horribly frustrated, and put him in the crib with the lights off and the mobile on, while I took a break. And he went to sleep. So sometimes he'll just... go to sleep. (At least until he started rolling around the crib, but I suppose he'll settle down when that gets old.) He also goes to sleep in the car, and I can put him drowsy-but-awake in the swing and he'll often fall asleep. And at night he will fall asleep cosleeping and nursing. I've made a real effort with him to encourage a variety of sleep locations, but really, I think he's just easier because he's much more mellow than DD.

I know this doesn't help to say, because I never believed it myself before DS was born... but your second really won't just be a clone of your first.

[alegna]

Another vote for luck of the draw. Dd only nursed to sleep, but STTN early on and fairly consistently. Ds goes down for the night snuggling with daddy, but nurses multiple times all night long.

-Angela

[buckeye_bebe]

With my first, the Happiest Baby 5 S's worked miracles for us. We would swaddle and shimmy until she was out (and floppy), then gently but firmly transfer her to the crib. We had to keep her on her side and apply some pressure from head to toe on her side while simultaneously patting her bum to make her think she was still in motion. Once down, we'd bum pat for another minute just in case. My second nurses and cosleeps.

[octobermom]

I confess I had a fairly easy baby with my first and I have a ridiclously easy baby when it coems to sleep with my current. (assuming her refux isn't flaring) my current takes a nap each day at EXACTLY 10am ussually for 2 hours sometimes a little more... We tease that at 10am her body is programmed to power down and shes has to recharge shes has literly done this since day one literly day one.. So I've learned to change her nurse her ect a bit before and she transations into her nap with extreme ease.
She also naturally falls asleep around 9pm she takes a late afternoon nap around 4pm and once up from that cluster feeds till bedtimesometiems shes nurses to sleep at my breast other times shes jsut content but awake and ready to sleep, its very seldom that we need to get her up again once shes laid down (today was one) and if we do we can ussually put her in her swing for a few mintues and shes out cold. I then get 8-9 hours till shes first wakes up. Shs starts out in her crib then we cosleep the rest of the night, First nap shes does in her crib afternoon one shes often cosleeps with me..
YEs I know its sickingly easy right?
he exception is when her reflux flares shen she'll only sleep slung to me and me walking her for hours but overall I really REALLY can not complain....
and hopefully writing this wont jinx me.

Deanna

[akind1]

We swaddled mostly for naps, laid down at drowsy but not asleep. He is good at letting us know when he's tired - rubs eyes, grouchy, etc, and if it is not nurse time, I just lay him down in his crib or on our bed, and out he goes. It helps that he is a thumb sucker.

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by ssh

I just laid by her while she kind of wiggled herself to sleep.

We co sleep and DD is only 5 months old tomorrow. I usually nurse her down, but sometimes (like 2-3 nights a week) she nurses and then lays by me while I do stuff on my laptop or read. She is full and happy, wiggling around and snuggling against me or my arm. After about 10-20 minutes she falls asleep and then, depending on the time I either sleep with her or when her sleep is heavy, I leave the bed. She still wakes 2-4 times a night though and she's pretty high needs in general.

[CalaRei]

I've got one of each with the twins, so I also vote luck of the draw. One of mine unlatches on his own after nursing. I lay him down totally awake, give him his paci and lay a blankie over him and he's out on his own in 10 minutes without a sound.

My other? Well, let's just say, I unlatch him after he finally seems floppy, then shimmy with him till he resettles. Try a paci, but it usually gets spit back out. Lay him down with a blankie and try to keep him on his side while he thrashes and squalls. Bum pats, back rubs, pick him back up to start over. Half an hour later he'll generally wear himself down in my arms and allow himself to be put down - all this ruckus while his brother sleeps 3 feet away. Who knows.

[mizznicole]

The only time DS ever went to sleep drowsy-but-awake was in the hospital after he was born. Then BAM on day 3 he turned into hypersensitive colic child. I'm just dreading this with the next one. I think it is luck from what you are all saying.

Do you think it makes a difference if DH handles some nightwakings or putting to sleep? Do your DH's ever put the babies to sleep? I was at a party by myself (for the first time in years) and said to an older dad there, "Gotta go, it's bedtime!" And the dad said, "Oh, I'm sure DH has had lots of practice." And I said, "Actually, no." But it seems that other loving moms have dads help out in this area. How do you do it?

[eclipse]

My husband was not able to do bed time until well into toddlerhood for either of my boys. They both nursed to sleep, and dh didn't have the equipment.

[alegna]

Dh tried with both- dd needed to nurse down forever, ds goes down easily on dh's shoulder. BUT for later wakings ds must nurse, he becomes harder and harder for dh to comfort.

-Angela

[ShwarmaQueen]

DD had to be nursed to sleep and would stay latched for hours (if I unlatched, she woke up) DS can be put to sleep by patting, either by me or DH, and if he is nursed to sleep, he will sleep soundly enough that I can leave right away. DD didnt STTN until she was weaned (14-15 mos) and DS not yet...

[tzs]

Originally Posted by mizznicole

Do you think it makes a difference if DH handles some nightwakings or putting to sleep? Do your DH's ever put the babies to sleep? I was at a party by myself (for the first time in years) and said to an older dad there, "Gotta go, it's bedtime!" And the dad said, "Oh, I'm sure DH has had lots of practice." And I said, "Actually, no." But it seems that other loving moms have dads help out in this area. How do you do it?

DH doesn't do it. at first it was b/c i HAD to (yep, the boobies) but now it's just a routine we're in. if he tries he just can't really get it 100% right and it's harder for me in the long-run. plus, he never wakes up anyway.

that said, i have a friend who's hubby was very active from the beginning. he would both put to sleep for naps and bedtime and sometimes surprise her by waking up with the babe and giving him a bottle of EBM. she would wake up 6 hours later freaking out. i was so jealous that i tried for 3 months to get dd to take a bottle (nope.) so now they are equally adept at putting the fella' to sleep and if anything her hubby might even be better at it. i highly recommend getting dh as involved as possible, even if it's just to bring the baby to you at night so you can stay in bed. get him as much experience as possible b/c now at 8 months my hubby could easily take over some of the duties but it's like pulling teeth.