Moving in with partner. Ideas?

[paintedfire]

DF and I are combining households next month.

Any tips to help with the transition would be more than welcome.

[zoebird]

choose the best appliances and objects between the whole lot, and then let go of the rest.

[elsie]

It also depends on if you are moving into his place, him into yours, or if you are getting a completely new place. It if is one moving into the others, it will be more difficult for the person who lives their first to make room for the new stuff. In any case, I would suggest having a talk about ideas and expectations when combining households. A lot of men really don't think much about this in the first place and may not understand what is important to you. I also notice you are expecting which sort of adds its own layer of emotion. I would probably go into the discussion with your ideas of what you are thinking and give him the opportunity to see if that works for him as well. Obviously, you want to keep the best stuff, but sometimes it is not clear when personal styles do not match. Be willing to compromise, it is only stuff after all. In many ways, this is a real test to see how well you get get along in the long run.

[paintedfire]

Originally Posted by elsie

It also depends on if you are moving into his place, him into yours, or if you are getting a completely new place. It if is one moving into the others, it will be more difficult for the person who lives their first to make room for the new stuff.

We are both moving from one-bedroom apartments (his on the UWS, mine in Cobble Hill) into a brownstone in Boerum Hill, so space isn't an issue and we won't be taking appliances with us - they're staying in the old places and we're getting news ones for the house.

I was thinking more along the lines of tips on how to not to absolutely lose my ever-lovin' mind during the process.

[zoebird]

i really can't say. it wasn't difficult for us. we didn't have anything when we moved in together, and so we collected over the years and such.

[elsie]

I like to have a good plan and an idea of how I am setting things up before I go, and arough idea of where furniture will be placed so whoever is putting it down puts it where it belongs. I find it is easiest to label each box with a colored sticker on the side - like orange stickers go into the kitchen and blue goes into the bedroom. If you are having movers, or even friends helping, it makes it easier for them to figure out where things go without having to rely on handwriting. In the new place, I would put a colored sticker in the doorway of the appropriate rooms. I would also get rid of aboslutely everything you won't need. You can ask your fiance to do this as well, but he may not be as ruthless as you may want him to be. I also like to make checklist beforehand of all the things that need to be hooked up, disconnected or transferred. I would do this a few weeks beforehand. I also always pack my breakables first when I am still in the mood to do a good job. I also have a separate suitcase and box of things I will want right away like cleaning supplies, linens, towels, toiletries and a change or two of clothes.

[justmeandmybrood]

I would suggest talking about each of your expectations of yourselves, each other, and the house. Getting these on the table can prevent a lot of arguments (and save much sanity)!

For instance, when DH and I got married and finally got to be in the same state (5+ months after the wedding, ugh!), I was expecting to do most of the decorating and choosing of colors, etc. I had spent my last year in grad school living with my BFF and her husband and saw how she made all the decisions since her hubby could not have cared less. I went into my new home with my new hubby figuring this was normal...then getting feelings hurt when DH had some ideas that were not the same as mine, lol! If I had thought to just talk with him about ideas and expectations and such, it could have saved hurt feelings on a number of subjects!