I can't stand my dog! Help!

[zepchic]

Okay, so I feel really bad saying this, but I freakin' hate my dog. We've had her about 4 years and for the first year and a half all her bad behavior was tolerable...frankly probably only because I didn't have any kids.

But now I have a 2.5 year old and one on the way and this dog causes me so much stress and anger. We do have another dog who I love dearly and rarely bothers me at all...she is the best dog ever-just has a few gross habits.

Anyway, tonight the stupid dog ate dh's dinner that I made. Normally, we would all sit down together, but dh is late getting home from work. I guess I forgot she was in the house and I know I forgot that I left the dinner out because a few minutes later I remembered and went to put it away and she was finishing it off.

My 2.5 year old also torments this dog incessantly so I am constantly having to protect her by keeping her separate from him. He doesn't bother the other dog because the other dog doesn't react as entertainingly to him.

I know DH will never let me get rid of her because he (and I used to) believes that once you take an animal into your home it is part of your family (like a child). I guess my opinion changed when I had kids. I don't know what kind of training would help with her food swiping and jumpy reactions to my 2 yr. old and we frankly don't have the money.

Anyway, any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for letting me vent.

[lonegirl]

Have you done any training with her? I think finding a good trainer to help you with various behavioural issues might help you. Talk to your vet or the technician there for referral to a good trainer.

[greenmagick]

The food stealing, well, if you leave it out, most will steal. Even very well trained dogs can be tempted. Thats when you go and get a rolled up newspaper, and then smack yourself. When you say you forgot she was inside, how often is she out?

And what do you mean by your dog "reacting" to your toddler? I have a 2 1/2 year old as well, and though we have our rough days, he does for the most part understand to be gentle with the animals. How much exercise is she getting? one on one time?

jumpy reactions....if she is scared and nervous around your toddler, she needs to learn not to be, but that requires work on both ends. Her trusting the toddler and the toddler respecting her space. Does she have a crate she can go to to get away? Have your toddler help train...ask for simple commands and give treats. There are a couple of videos and articles that are great at dogstardaily.com dealing with dogs and kids.

[ouesi]

Originally Posted by greenmagick

The food stealing, well, if you leave it out, most will steal. Even very well trained dogs can be tempted. Thats when you go and get a rolled up newspaper, and then smack yourself. When you say you forgot she was inside, how often is she out?

And what do you mean by your dog "reacting" to your toddler? I have a 2 1/2 year old as well, and though we have our rough days, he does for the most part understand to be gentle with the animals. How much exercise is she getting? one on one time?

jumpy reactions....if she is scared and nervous around your toddler, she needs to learn not to be, but that requires work on both ends. Her trusting the toddler and the toddler respecting her space. Does she have a crate she can go to to get away? Have your toddler help train...ask for simple commands and give treats. There are a couple of videos and articles that are great at dogstardaily.com dealing with dogs and kids.

This is a very nice and helpful answer.

I'm sorry, but I can't be that nice.
It blows my mind that we can bring living, breathing, sentient beings in to our homes, assume responsibility for their wellbeing, but then put minimal to no effort in to learning to communicate with them (read: train), and expect near perfection form them in return. And when the dog doesn't somehow absorb through osmosis how they're supposed to behave, its time to get rid of them? Wow.

[mamabearsoblessed]

You and your dog need training. I'm not being snarky, but I am curious, is this your first dog? Was she a puppy when she came into your home? Does your dh help in her care at all?
I hear the frustration in your post but there are many, many variables and if you really want help and advice, can you give us more backgorund?
Things have to change here for you and especially the dog, I know you know that, but what do you want to know? How to change behavior?
As for stealing food~ that is a self rewarding behavior, meaning the reward is instantaneous for your dog, even though you may be pissed and scream and stomp, she alerady got the food/the reward.
It sounds like you have to concentrate on changing your thinking and retraining yourself as her person as well as strating fresh with her.
Ask yourself what kind of relationship you want with your dog, and how you can accomplish that.
Training/retraining is the answer.
Also~ like any other relationship in life~ it takes work and consistency and patience. Daily.
What makes you happy with your dog? What are her 'saving graces' if you will?
As far as your dc and the dog~ it sounds like your dog needs a 'safe place'. Somewhere that is off limits to the baby, whether its a room or kennel, somewhere she can be that the toddler is safely away and the dog is safe.
Also~ my youngest is 2.5 and also gets overzealous with our dog adn I often need to 'rescue' the dog~ we talk alot about personal space~ even (and especially) for pets.
training doesn't need to cost you money. Time and patience, research and reading and CONSISTENCY for all involved ~ meaning you an dh can help train/retrain. You as well as your dog.
I know there are many wise dog people on MDC that will have names and titles and websites for you.
You obvously want help and advice or you wouldn't have posted~ you sound at the end of your rope~ I hope you find some answers and guidance here.
Good luck to you.

[samy23]

Wasn't it your fault you left the dinner out somewhere she could reach it? You can't blame the dog for that.

How is your 2.5 yr old tormenting the dog? Have you tried keeping her busy with other things? If she has enough to do and is occupied, it shouldn't be happening imo. Maybe when she hasto amuse herself, such as if you are busy making dinner etc, that could be the time you put the dog in the yard.

What breeds are your dogs?

[zepchic]

Thanks for the helpful comments.

I think I really just needed a good vent about my frustrations. I'm not a bad person, I'm 8 months pregnant with limited patience.

I do realize that it is my fault for leaving the food out, but at the time of the post I was feeling very frustrated with the situation. It is bound to happen sometimes that I forget. Oh, and I didn't mean it to sound as if I leave her out all the time, she had been out for awhile and I (or my son) had just let her in. (She loves it outside in our huge yard chasing whatever she can find). Also, our first dog is just such an angel, I guess I have high expectations.

Upon rereading my post I realize I didn't give much background info, leaving you to decide that I am a lazy incompetent person. My dog has had some training, she is not my first dog, and no dh does not help at all with the dog.

She was kennel trained to help with her anxiety, but she doesn't seem to need it anymore. She used to have issues with chewing things when we were out, but has calmed quite a bit. She is a pound puppy and I think it always takes them awhile to feel more secure. She has always been a very jumpy dog. Her breed is a besenji and they are high energy less domesticated dogs than most. (Our other dog is a pitbull).

I'm working on teaching my son to be gentle to her. Like I said, he bothers her because she has jumpy reactions, so he has learned to get the reaction. I do protect her and give her a separate space and talk to him about how it is my job to keep her safe when he is being mean to her. He is learning, but it is a daily issue.

Anyways, thanks for the tips and website info for those of you who had helpful things to say and may the rest of you one day be blessed with a dog that tests your patience.

[wetcement101]

Ok, I'm going to my first flames. I deeply empathize with you. Tell your DH to help with the dog, or it's his job to rehome or euthanize it. When you have a new babe to care for and a toddler its only going to get worse. When are you going to have the resources for more training with a new baby?
I speak from my torment with a very difficult dog. I love *training* my 2 yr old that she has to watch her food around the food thief,the clean up his diarrhea because he ate people food. He was returned to the shelter twice for very good reasons. Hundreds of hours and dollars in training, but I think time has mellowed him into a more livable pet. Still a pain in the butt...

[rubidoux]

Hmmm.... I don't really think of stealing food that's been left unattended and in reach "bad behavior" for a dog. Frustrating if you've just lost something you wanted to eat or save for your hubby, yes, but totally normal for most dogs. I am sure that there are some that are so well trained and obedient that they don't, but generally speaking it is just par for the course.

I wonder if the problem is that you just haven't bonded with this dog. If you don't feel like you have a relationship with the dog, I'd think that the dog's behaviors might feel much more annoying than they would if you had a deep love for or at least affection for the dog. If that's the case, though, I have no idea what the solution to that is.

[Subhuti]

One of our dogs steals food terribly and is so stealthy and quick, we lose quite a lot of food. I have to be one hundred percent mindful to lock it all up.

It's mildly annoying to me, but I figure, it's his nature. It's his talent in fact.

No training works on this habit -- sorry. An unattended dog w/an opportunity will do what he has to do to satiate one of his main drives ... bread gone. Butter dish gone. Etc.

Liz

[shesaidboom]

I'm also wondering if your frustrations could be that you just did not bond with this dog in the same way you did with your first. That could make you less tolerant of her behaviours. From what you've written it sounds like you'd like this dog to live up to your first dog, which she just can't do. Maybe working on accepting her for who she is (and addressing the issues you are having with her training) and trying to bond with her may help.

It doesn't have to cost anything to re-train the humans and dogs in your house. Hubby should be helping though! If nothing else, he should take her for a nice long run/walk to get some of her energy out. I can't imagine that would be easy for you to do with a toddler and a newborn! I find that most dogs are much better behaved when they are tired. Backyard play isn't always enough to tire them out.

Good luck! I hope you are able to resolve your situation. It must be so frustrating to go through it.