Boy with long hair? - Page 3

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid

Don't cut it just because of the pressure from other people.

We didn't/don't cut our boys' hair until they request it.

Except replace boy's with "children's" for us. DD decided to get her's cut at 3.75 (for preschool) and DS at 2.75 (for a wedding). They were both bothered by people calling DS a girl, though, from a very young age. He is very sweet looking, though, with long eyelashes. He sometimes gets called a girl when he has short hair too.

That said, for the OP, right now your DS, IMO, just has *hair*. If he was older, I would consider him to have short hair (as it's not below his collar/shoulders). Since he's so young, I would just assume he hadn't had a hair cut. DS' hair was much straighter so significantly past his shoulders.

I don't know what religion you are, but if you are Christian I would be tempted to say that I was not cutting DS' hair just like Mary didn't cut Jesus' hair Really, though, that would be just to get people off my back.

For us, I just said, "We all like it." PERIOD.

[bluebirdiemama]

He still looks like a baby to me! I think these people are crazy... sorry. But if you don't want to cut it,then don't!!!He's your baby. Not sociaties' baby, or the families' baby.

[damona]

both my oldest and youngest sons have long hair. the 2 in the middle prefer theirs buzzed short. *shrugs* it's their heads. i learned long ago to pick my battles and hair is just not an important battle to me!

my 5 year old has hair that is dark blond, wavy, and nearly to his waist. it never fails to amaze me that people ask me how old my "daughter" is or what "she" would like or whatever. i dress him in jeans or sweatpants, usually dark colours, and, if we are out, i usually pull his hair back in a low ponytail. to me, he looks like a very boy-ish boy. my in-laws give me grief about it every time we see them. it's insanely aggravating. it's just hair, and it's how he likes it! argh!

my oldest says that kids at school have teased him and told him he's "pretty" but he just tells them he likes it and it's his decision and he's keeping it that way. they've pretty much backed off now, b/c he just doesn't let it get to him. his hair is dark blond, straight as a pin, and just to his shoulders.

i told both of them that if they want it long, they have to keep it clean and let me brush out the snarls every couple days, and there have been no problems with that.

so, yeah, just tell people that it's how you and/or your ds like it, and they can all go take a flying leap

[_ktg_]

OP: my DS1 has similar length hair to your DS. Its not long at all - (he's so cute!!)

To me - hair is hair and its a choice. Of course if your DS likes it that way - its fine! Mine lets us know if he wants a haircut and how short (he's 3 1/2) he wants it, of course he does hate having it brushed and detangled but we just explain it will be fast and overwith quickly - he has curly, fine hair.

I would have been frustrated if pictures were refused, that's just uncalled for and I would have more to say except it would be a UAV

[Landover]

Don't cut it just because others want you to cut it. But, I also would not go into the whole... "we are letting him choose" thing because some folks just won't understand this and they will continue to pester you because they think *that* is weird more then the long hair.

For us, hair cutting is just part of grooming since I don't want to deal with it. I have one daughter now with longer hair and I am willing to deal with it on her because those bows are really stinking cute.

I will say though, not to offend anyone, that DS has a kiddo on his t-ball team with long, straight hair with bangs. It is poker straight and half way down is back. I feel so sorry for this kid. It took the other 4 year olds days to figure out that he was not a girl, and he is CONSTANTLY telling people he is a boy. Every time he goes up to bat the other team or any visiting relatives from our team make remarks such as... "it is so cute they let a girl play." His dad has long hair and so does his older brother so I think it is a family requirement.

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by Landover

deal with it on her because those bows are really stinking cute.

I will say though, not to offend anyone, that DS has a kiddo on his t-ball team with long, straight hair with bangs. It is poker straight and half way down is back. I feel so sorry for this kid. It took the other 4 year olds days to figure out that he was not a girl, and he is CONSTANTLY telling people he is a boy. Every time he goes up to bat the other team or any visiting relatives from our team make remarks such as... "it is so cute they let a girl play." His dad has long hair and so does his older brother so I think it is a family requirement.

or, it could be that all the boys just want to look like their dad. Seriously, though, don't feel sorry for the kid unless it seems likee being mistaken for a girl really bothers him, and you really believe that his parents won't let him cut his hair. I would say that 100% of the time, kids who meet my son assume he's a girl. About 95% of adults do the same. It bothers my son so little, that I've never heard him correct anyone. He doesn't see being a girl as something in anyway negative, so he doesn't care if people are wrong about that. He's much more likely to get offended if someone thinks he's younger than he is (he's pretty tiny, and his speech isn't clear, so people tend to assume he's much younger than he is) or offended if someone mis hears his name and calls him something incorrect. My oldest son likes to let his hair grow long, and then cuts it the first time anyone mistakes him for a girl. He hates being mistaken for a girl more than his likes his hair long, which is fine too.

[Landover]

or, it could be that all the boys just want to look like their dad. Seriously, though, don't feel sorry for the kid unless it seems likee being mistaken for a girl really bothers him, and you really believe that his parents won't let him cut his hair. I would say that 100% of the time, kids who meet my son assume he's a girl. About 95% of adults do the same. It bothers my son so little, that I've never heard him correct anyone. He doesn't see being a girl as something in anyway negative, so he doesn't care if people are wrong about that. He's much more likely to get offended if someone thinks he's younger than he is (he's pretty tiny, and his speech isn't clear, so people tend to assume he's much younger than he is) or offended if someone mis hears his name and calls him something incorrect. My oldest son likes to let his hair grow long, and then cuts it the first time anyone mistakes him for a girl. He hates being mistaken for a girl more than his likes his hair long, which is fine too.

Yeah, that is what I meant. it obviously bothers this kiddo because he corrects them constantly. He always seems to whine it... "I'mmmm nnoooottt a GIRL!" Poor thing...

My son does not see anything wrong with girls, but he would certainly correct someone who called him a girl. It isn't about whether or not he thinks it is bad to be a girl, it is about the fact that he is *not* a girl.

[eclipse]

Well, it sounds like, for now at least, that kid likes his hair more than he dislikes being mistaken for a girl. (Unless, of course, his parents really won't let him cut it, which would be kind of weird. Although, I knew girls growing up whose parents wouldn't let them cut their hair, either. Those kids usually took to their hair with a dull pair of scissors on their own, though )

[beebalmmama]

My son's hair is very similar to yours. Although his didn't get quite that thick or long until he was closer to 2. I love the curls and rarely cut it, mainly just a trim at his eyes so he could see.

I think your family's comment are ridiculous. Especially your father refusing to pay for the picture like he offered. It's a picture of his grandson!!

I've had people comment on ds's hair too. Why is it that boys are "supposed" to have hair that isn't longer than an inch or so? I've always liked his hair a little longer because I think it makes him look his age.

We first got our son's haircut professionally this past year (he's now 4.5 yrs). It was becoming a bit unmaneagable because he wouldn't let me comb it daily. But the hairdresser went way shorter than we requested. It's like she was worried about leaving it too long, even though that is what we asked for (I even had pictures with us). Anyway it's almost back to the style it was with a few trimmings from me. Currently it's above his shirt and just over the tip of his ears and his grandpa recently said how he needed it cut and it looked like a girls?!! WTF! Must boys have it practically shaved to be appropriate?!
Ds likes his a little long and unless he changes his mind (or refuses to comb it, which is why we do trim it a bit) it will stay that way.

OP- don't listen to other people if you and your ds are happy with it.

[Girlprof]

Good grief, it's hair. I agree with the people who recommend that you take ownership of the style of hair for a 13 month old. No way does he understand anything about hairstyles, but he's your baby and it's your choice. End of story.

I always look at boy-with-long-hair threads because our son has long hair. Frankly it did start out as "gender confusion" though I prefer to call it gender exploration. He wanted to be a girl/look like a girl when he was around 3 and started growing his hair. Check out some of the "My son wants to be a girl/wear a dress!" threads and look at how many of them are about 3 year olds. Very very normal for that age. However, I would venture that these issues are not on the table at 13 months, unless put there by adults who don't know much about child development.

Now our DS is six. He has beautiful long blond hair and it is definitely "othering" as someone called it, but that is *why* he likes it. Pretty much everyone at his elementary school knows him because there are only a few boys with long hair. He is often mistaken for a girl, but we all just correct that and move on. What's really cool is that it has given him a way to be special and set himself apart.

[Gal]

If you don't want to cut your son's hair, don't do it! He's gorgeous by the way.

My dd's dad has long hair, and he's 57 I mean it's just hair, if I had a son that wanted to grow out his hair I would allow it and besides he's a baby and it looks pretty normal to me.

[KaylaBeanie]

I'm loving the long-haired boys! They're so adorable. All little boys are cute, but long-haired boys just tug a heart string

I'll keep my DSs hair long until they're old enough to decide for themselves and groom themselves. I just think it looks a lot better. Plus, my family has a strong gene of creating babies with gorgeous curly mops. Thankfully my whole family prefers males to have longer hair (dad was military and has grown his hair out since retiring, he loves it) so I'd only face nasty comments if I DID cut it!

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Landover

I will say though, not to offend anyone, that DS has a kiddo on his t-ball team with long, straight hair with bangs. It is poker straight and half way down is back. I feel so sorry for this kid. It took the other 4 year olds days to figure out that he was not a girl, and he is CONSTANTLY telling people he is a boy. Every time he goes up to bat the other team or any visiting relatives from our team make remarks such as... "it is so cute they let a girl play." His dad has long hair and so does his older brother so I think it is a family requirement.

Why feel sorry for him? Is there some sign that it bothers him?

My ex had long hair. DS1 had long hair. DS1 didn't want to cut his hair. He liked it like that. He worked through a period when people teased him a little, and he came through it just fine...and it was several more years before he decided to chop it off.

I just read your next post. DS1 would say "I'm not a girl", and corrected people. It didn't really bother him, though - ds1 corrected/corrects people about details all the time.