4yr old boys and testosterone

[omelette]

I've been doing some reading about boys lately. Partly b/c I never grew up with boys in the house and partly b/c my boy (just turned 4) has been going through some changes in the last 1.5 months. He's been playing a bit more aggressively, talking in an aggressive voice and bouncing off the walls all day long. He also needs to kick, hit or throw something as he transitions from one space to another; even when these transitions are his choice. A big change in our house from a couple of months ago. And for me it is a learning process.
Well, apparently boys testosterone levels double at the age of 4. They don't have an explanation as to why this happens but apparently it does (I've only read this from 2 sources so there could be different research contradicting this). The levels drop back down at around 5yrs old.
I found this interesting b/c it does seem to coincide with behaviour changes with our boy. Who knows if it's accurate but to me it is interesting none the less.

Anybody else notice any big changes in their boy at 4yrs old?

[K-Mom3]

I don't remember noticing a huge change at 4. But my ds (5) does all the things you describe. It has been a learning process for me as well.

I've been reading "Raising Cain" this week and that has been really interesting. Boys (on average) really do need more physical outlet than girls! The book covers a lot more ground than that, though. I recommend it.

[Bea]

You might enjoy this book:

The Trouble with Testosterone: And Other Essays On The Biology Of The Human Predicament by Robert Sapolsky.

He's an enormously well respected scientist and author plus he's HUGELY entertaining to read. His PhD is in Neuroendocrinology so your query is exactly his field of study. Really, really interesting stuff.

[Momalea]

That may answer some questions about my 4yo boy. He turned 4 in January and my sweet mellow guy has changed a lot. He's much more competitive, does a lot of threatening ("if you don't give me-fill in the blank-then you can't be in my family!"), he's obsessed with knights/pirates/police and bad guys. He hits a lot more and feels compelled to throw things. He's much more energetic and it's really hard to get him to go to sleep at night.

What bugs me the most though is he has such a hard time hearing us when we ask him to stop doing something that bothers/hurts us. He'll do it over and over and over and by the time we've reached our limit he seems surprised that we're mad and then blows up at us. Since my dd has much less patience than I do, my kids end up bickering a lot.

With my daughter 3 was really hard and 4 was when things mellowed out. Since he was such a mellow 3 year old I thought 4 would be a breeze. Should I hold out hope for age 5?

[omelette]

Originally Posted by K-Mom3

I've been reading "Raising Cain" this week and that has been really interesting. Boys (on average) really do need more physical outlet than girls! The book covers a lot more ground than that, though. I recommend it.

Yes, I've been slowly making my way through this book. It is also in documentary format which I think I need to get from the library b/c it's taking me forever to read it. I'm also getting through another one called "Raising Boys". Lots of interesting info out there.

Right now I feel like I need all the help I can get.
He's so great when he's engaged in an activity, either active (soccer, running) or mellow (colouring) but when he's not that's when the behaviours start to show which I guess is normal for most kids. I just find the behaviours are getting more aggressive in nature and my time has become more limited with a high needs baby which is resulting in less engaged time for him.

[transylvania_mom]

yes, 4 and (currently) 5 are difficult ages here. I find that ds NEEDS physical activity and time outside. It has been raining all day today and yesterday (luckily yesterday he had swimming lessons and I took ds to a concert downtown), but today he has been inside all day and I can't reason with him any more.

[Pepe]

Interesting indeed--we were just telling MIL and FIL that DS is now certainly in a tough phase. He's actually almost five (August), so hard to say re: the doubling of testosterone--but yes on the aggression, fierce/angry voice, plus--over here, at least--a VERY short path to frustration and/or tears.

Like what others described, my boy, too, seems to need to be more active than before, but then has a very hard time calming back down after physical play/wrestling/soccer/what have you. Any tips on that sort of transition (if your suggestions benefit the OP; no intention of hijacking the thread!)? A nice bath can be of use, but clearly this is not always our best option.

Good luck and extra patience to all of us!

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

hmm that's interesting, ds will be 4 in july and i am noticing him to be a bit more energetic these past few weeks. I will observe his behavior and see how it goes, hoping not too bad!

[mags]

YES! DS2 has been acting like he has PMS or something since he turned four. He is super aggressive and whew stand back for those mood swings. I do agree with others that the best thing to do is to let them burn off energy. So, as long as the weather isn't crummy, I send him and his 6 yr old brother outside to burn some of it off. It does help quite a bit. I also notice that it helps to calm him down when I give him extra attn, some snuggles and readings books together to re-connect.