Ok, so after after obtaining custody by default of DD last Monday, my lawyer and I are left to figure out what to do about child support. In a normal situation with a "normal" ex spouse, we would both just submit last year's income tax return along with this year's annual salary, and CS would be set according to provincial guidelines, from which there is very little room to wiggle out of.
Also, let me preface this by saying that in Quebec, there is very little tolerance for delinquant parents who try to get out of paying CS. Once child support is ordered by the courts and established, the Ministry of Revenue takes control and automatically deducts the amount at source. There is a provision allowing a parent to opt out of this and to choose to receive CS via cheque from their ex-spouse, but if after a time the ex spouse doesn't send CS anymore, then tough luck.
In my situation, the appeal delay for my divorce is May 31st. After this, the divorce proceeds uncontested and will be finalized by the end of the summer. In order for the divorce to proceed though, child support rates have to set depending on my and STBX's yearly salary as well as the rate of visitation (which is now 10%). I've already given my earning information to the lawyer, but for a while, I didn't know where STBX worked. Now I've snooped around and found him to be working at his previous employer (I also have his social insurance number), and I think I know approximately how much he makes. According to my lawyer, he'd pay approximately 220$ a month. Since we don't have the exact amount of his earnings and STBX isn't willing to give that information up, we'd have to subpoena his employer, who would then have to ask STBX's permission to release the earnings information. If he refuses the employer will be forced to appear before a judge who will order him to release the information. So, one way or another, the courts will get what they need to set CS.
I'd been hesitating a lot about simply sending a subpoena to STBX's employer, and my lawyer had told me that there was a way to delay this by producing an affidavit stating that we don't know how much he earns. This tactic will however delay my divorce being finalized, especially if a judge decides that it is unacceptable for us not to know STBX's employment information and demand that we obtain it. If that occurs, then the whole subpoena thing will happen anyhow.
My dilemma is this: STBX and I have achieved a sort of peaceful interaction. We only speak once a week, when I drive DD to his place or when I pick her up. Aside from that, there are a few texts regarding scheduling, but nothing else. He was angry when he got served with divorce and custody proceedings, but after a week or so, things calmed down. Also, DD seems to recognize him now and is happy to go see him. I'm afraid that if I go with the flow, and let events happen as they should, STBX will *freak out* about having CS deducted from his salary and that our interaction will become toxic again, which can negatively affect DD. I'm also unsure whether or not STBX can go after more visitation in order to try to reduce his CS rate, since in my judgment it states that a) I have custody and b) visitation has to be determined in an amicable agreement between both of us.
I've already sort of decided that I shouldn't try to delay the course of the law and I will ask my lawyer to go ahead with the subpoena on Monday. I'm still worried about STBX's reaction though. My gut reaction to CS was that I didn't want it in the first place because I didn't want to be tied to STBX in any way, and I didn't want to owe him. After giving this some thought, I figured that even though I don't really need the CS, I'd just put it in savings for DD's education later on.
Does anyone have any input? I'm wondering if I should warn STBX about this, or discuss it with him....
Also, let me preface this by saying that in Quebec, there is very little tolerance for delinquant parents who try to get out of paying CS. Once child support is ordered by the courts and established, the Ministry of Revenue takes control and automatically deducts the amount at source. There is a provision allowing a parent to opt out of this and to choose to receive CS via cheque from their ex-spouse, but if after a time the ex spouse doesn't send CS anymore, then tough luck.
In my situation, the appeal delay for my divorce is May 31st. After this, the divorce proceeds uncontested and will be finalized by the end of the summer. In order for the divorce to proceed though, child support rates have to set depending on my and STBX's yearly salary as well as the rate of visitation (which is now 10%). I've already given my earning information to the lawyer, but for a while, I didn't know where STBX worked. Now I've snooped around and found him to be working at his previous employer (I also have his social insurance number), and I think I know approximately how much he makes. According to my lawyer, he'd pay approximately 220$ a month. Since we don't have the exact amount of his earnings and STBX isn't willing to give that information up, we'd have to subpoena his employer, who would then have to ask STBX's permission to release the earnings information. If he refuses the employer will be forced to appear before a judge who will order him to release the information. So, one way or another, the courts will get what they need to set CS.
I'd been hesitating a lot about simply sending a subpoena to STBX's employer, and my lawyer had told me that there was a way to delay this by producing an affidavit stating that we don't know how much he earns. This tactic will however delay my divorce being finalized, especially if a judge decides that it is unacceptable for us not to know STBX's employment information and demand that we obtain it. If that occurs, then the whole subpoena thing will happen anyhow.
My dilemma is this: STBX and I have achieved a sort of peaceful interaction. We only speak once a week, when I drive DD to his place or when I pick her up. Aside from that, there are a few texts regarding scheduling, but nothing else. He was angry when he got served with divorce and custody proceedings, but after a week or so, things calmed down. Also, DD seems to recognize him now and is happy to go see him. I'm afraid that if I go with the flow, and let events happen as they should, STBX will *freak out* about having CS deducted from his salary and that our interaction will become toxic again, which can negatively affect DD. I'm also unsure whether or not STBX can go after more visitation in order to try to reduce his CS rate, since in my judgment it states that a) I have custody and b) visitation has to be determined in an amicable agreement between both of us.
I've already sort of decided that I shouldn't try to delay the course of the law and I will ask my lawyer to go ahead with the subpoena on Monday. I'm still worried about STBX's reaction though. My gut reaction to CS was that I didn't want it in the first place because I didn't want to be tied to STBX in any way, and I didn't want to owe him. After giving this some thought, I figured that even though I don't really need the CS, I'd just put it in savings for DD's education later on.
Does anyone have any input? I'm wondering if I should warn STBX about this, or discuss it with him....
<<<jumping off there now. (My first time using that smilie, perhaps?)
I know how hard it is to be on the receiving end of abuse. The one word of caution that I will offer, and I'm positive you already know this, is to be very very reasonable. If Sunday stops working for you (as an example) make sure you talk to your stbx about what other day woudl work for him - give him some options. Don't just change it. A judge will want to see that YOU are TRYING to work with him, and that he is unwilling to work things out. If you can establish that, you're golden (well, almost - the rest is a crapshoot as far as who your judge is!).
