Weekly thread, May 9-16 - Page 8

[jenfl]

Pepper -- yum!

laughingfox -- congrats on pushing through and fixing your nursing relationship! We did get the tie clipped, but it may have been too late for DS to re-learn a correct latch. We'll see over the next few weeks.

AFM -- I had a great night! DS fell asleep around 8, which is early for him (but my goal bedtime in the longer term). I put him in the co-sleeper and he slept until 8:30, then woke up and had a last good meal. Back in bed by 9, up at 2, up again at 6. It took a while, but I did manage to get him back down after the 6am waking, but I'm not in a position (literally) to get more sleep myself. Ah, well. I slept 10-6 with just one waking -- amazing!

Good thing I got the rest, because DH is out of the picture today (he's on night shift) and DD has been sick for a few days and I could hear her coughing last night. I bet things are going to be rough with her today.

[GreenTeaGinger61]

So as if things couldn't get worst....last night someone tried to bust their way through our side door. Dh managed to hold the door against the person until the police arrived. I was upstairs with the kids, in the dark, crying because I didn't now if my dh was alive or not. It was really freaking horrible. They knew we were home as every light in the house was on. The cops said they were likely coming to do "harm" more than with the purpose of stealing something.

My ds saw that there were four guys hanging out the school parking lot across the road. He said that one point there were three who were trying to hide. We figure they sent one guy over to bust in the door, and were waiting until he got in. They also likely didn't expect that my husband was home as he was at the computer and I was the one walking back and forth. They pretty much ran off when dh pushed the door in on them.

Anyway, I'm terrified. There was home invasion a few weeks ago where a woman was raped in front of her children. I don't feel safe here anymore. Last night we were out at 2 am looking for a hotel. We're going to try to get an apartment in the place where we used to live. I'm sure the landlord here is going to have a fit because we're going to break our lease but I don't want to be here alone during the day with all the kids.

Seriously this sucks so bad. Dh loses his job and then this. Plus I have to move with very little money and an one month old baby.

[jsh7809]

OH my god GTG, I am SO so sorry to hear that! Freaking terrifying! Do you have a place to stay for a night or a few? Or a pitbull that can be loaned to you? So terrible, my thoughts are with you.
Thank goodness everyone is fine. Your DH is amazing for stopping the breaking in. I am super anti-gun but... things like this really make you think. My husband has been asking for a samurai sword for years to protect our home!
I know it won't happen again but my heart really goes out to you.
I was going to post about frustrations with sleeping, screaming baby, frustrated DH who seems to be starting to resent the baby... but all of that seems kind of stupid, I'm just glad that your family (and mine) are safe.
s x infinity

[justamama]

GTG- oh my goodness! I am SO SO SO glad you are all ok!

[jenfl]

Ginger! That's terrible! I hope you can find a place to stay where you feel comfortable, and that your landlord understands.

*shudder*. I'm home alone 3 nights a week, and that whole thing terrifies me.

[Pepper44]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaGinger61

So as if things couldn't get worst....last night someone tried to bust their way through our side door. Dh managed to hold the door against the person until the police arrived. I was upstairs with the kids, in the dark, crying because I didn't now if my dh was alive or not. It was really freaking horrible. They knew we were home as every light in the house was on. The cops said they were likely coming to do "harm" more than with the purpose of stealing something.

My ds saw that there were four guys hanging out the school parking lot across the road. He said that one point there were three who were trying to hide. We figure they sent one guy over to bust in the door, and were waiting until he got in. They also likely didn't expect that my husband was home as he was at the computer and I was the one walking back and forth. They pretty much ran off when dh pushed the door in on them.

Anyway, I'm terrified. There was home invasion a few weeks ago where a woman was raped in front of her children. I don't feel safe here anymore. Last night we were out at 2 am looking for a hotel. We're going to try to get an apartment in the place where we used to live. I'm sure the landlord here is going to have a fit because we're going to break our lease but I don't want to be here alone during the day with all the kids.

Seriously this sucks so bad. Dh loses his job and then this. Plus I have to move with very little money and an one month old baby.

How terrifying!! I'm home alone 5 nights a week and I worry about something like this. We have 2 good sized barking dogs, which I hope would be discouraging. Our lab mix is crazy protective, but otherwise sweet as pie.

GTG it sucks that you will have the stress of moving on top of everything else. Feeling unsafe in your own home is terrible!

AFM. baby is fussy today. Tense, which makes me think gas pains, and spitting up more than ever before. I wonder if it's something I ate? Her poop looks normal, at least...

[rhiOrion]

Oh god, GTG!

Maybe this is a sign that you guys should move somewhere else? DH loses his job and then you almost get broken into, that's just crazy.

I agree that you should at least break your lease and move somewhere else in CLT.

That's just terrifying. Somebody broke into a house in our neighborhood in the middle of the night recently, but they did it while everyone was asleep and they went through an open window and stole stuff but did not physical harm. It scares me because I'm frequently up walking around in the dark in the middle of the night with the baby. We are super careful to never leave a ground floor window open at night or when we're not home.

Eeeek!

[Peace+Hope]

gtg, oh my goodness, i'm so glad you guys are ok! it does sound like a situation where they were trying to get in to do something TO someone. i remember you talking about where you live being right on the edge of a bad neighborhood. i hope something starts going well for you guys. surely a police report ought to go a long way in your landlord's eyes...

jsh, yes, charlie clears his throat and sometimes gags in his sleep. it's only after hrs of sleeping flat / early in the morning like 4 am or so. when he's gassy and pushing, it seems to make his stomach contents come back up.

jenfl, so glad the heartburn meds seem to be working!

rhi, wow about the blanket! sometimes i feel like charlie gets touched out and just wants to be swaddled and left alone, heh. i wonder about babies and sensory stuff like that.

laughingfox, yay for a great LC and healing nips!

sme, were you ever able to talk to someone else at the local hospital? that is so absurd!

[ivymae]

I'm so glad you are okay Ginger.

[crazyeight]

scary GTG! the neighborhood I used to live in had a small rash of home invasions that did purposely wait until people were home. i'm glad your dh was home and he was able to get them to leave.
recently i've been thinking it's time to get a gun. i'm not opposed to them but it's expensive to get and maintain one though.

pepper~ omg i hate you! that sounds like the most delicious thing in the world! i am loath to think about how many calories are in it though....

i don't make "fatty" milk based on more calories...i just pack on the pounds.

welcome back laughingfox. glad you've figured out how to shove your boob into the baby

AFM: went to my 6 wk checkup at 5 wks and things have healed up great, need to do some crunches to help my abs go back together and maybe some kegals. cleared for sex!

i'm super tired though. i don't know whats up. stayed up late a few nights ago but i've done that before but this time around ugh. i slept from 9-8:30 last night (with various waking's of course) and i just took a 2 hr nap and i still feel like in 8 hrs i could sleep for another 10.

and ugh..babys awake...again.

[rhiOrion]

Originally Posted by dhinderliter

AFM: went to my 6 wk checkup at 5 wks and things have healed up great, need to do some crunches to help my abs go back together and maybe some kegals. cleared for sex!

i'm super tired though. i don't know whats up. stayed up late a few nights ago but i've done that before but this time around ugh. i slept from 9-8:30 last night (with various waking's of course) and i just took a 2 hr nap and i still feel like in 8 hrs i could sleep for another 10.

and ugh..babys awake...again.

Ugh, I don't think there's anyway I'm having sex anytime soon, and we're over 5 weeks out. I'm still stingy feeling down there (sting-y, not stingy... i'm feeling pretty generous, actually!). I'm a little concerned about how much it's going to hurt to put the IUD in on Thursday. Not so much the internal hurt, but the external hurt where I tore.

About you being tired- maybe you're getting quantity but not quality sleep? Like, maybe you're just never getting into a deep sleep. I know that's my problem, since the baby is asleep ON me.

[smeisnotapirate]

GTG! So scary.

P+H - nope. You know what? Bugger on them. I'm writing to an administrator of the facility, saying that I and my family will be going to another local hospital for all our healthcare needs. It kinda feels petty because it's not like I know the lady's name or anything to have her reprimanded, but it's kinda the last straw with this place. I don't need to PAY them to continually treat their patients that way.

Re:sex
I am so ready but I KNOW my MW won't clear me at 3 weeks out.

[Carita]

gt - it maybe this is your sign to move & get outta there - scary!

jen - if a baby can learn to latch a bottle at 6 weeks, there's hope! maybe if you think its not working, try the nipple shield before giving up. you've done so awesome!

dd's latch is improving - lots of clicking still, but only at an engorged breast. i just dug out the pump, so i will start pumping a bit of the top.

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Thanks everyone. We're at the hotel again for tonight as my mom had left for the beach before finding out what happened. We filled out an application for the place we lived before so we're hoping that comes through. We called our landlord THREE times today to tell him the door was busted open and not secure. We put the fridge in front of it but if someone wanted to get in they could. No response from the guy...grrr. We did notice the cops drove by like four times Dh is a mess. He's really paranoid, and anxious as is ds (who almost had a seizure right after it all happened).

For those alone, we do live on the edge of a bad neighborhood so while we've been lucky we knew this could happen. It makes me sad as I really love our quaint artsy area. It sucks that some nasty people have to ruin it for the rest of us Our neighbor who has lived here for 31 years was so sad we were leaving. But I will never feel safe there again. Like I said I was so terrified that they were going to shot my husband.

The cop suggested we get a gun and that was like a sure sign to me that we just couldn't live in the area anymore. I know how to use a gun and I would shoot someone to protect my children but I don't want to live with that. I'd rather just live somewhere I don't have to worry about it.

Kids are okay now. DD1 threw up all over the back of the van from anxiety. DS was super anxious and DD2 had a few meltdowns but now they're feeling safe again. Poor Rowena is in serous need of some love. I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to just sit and love her. So now I"m typing with her snuggled up against me. Happy that we're all safe. I keep telling her she has the most amazing daddy.

[silverspook]

For some reason Rhi thinks that I would not enjoy talking to myself over on the "island" thread, and encouraged me to come over here. I think she's right. I don't feel like I belong here yet, but I guess I'll have to suck it up unless I want to go join the girls over in the May or June threads!

I've read back a few posts and my heart goes out to all the mamas struggling with nursing and fussy babies. DS was a fussy baby who didn't seem to ever sleep and had trouble nursing from 3 days to about 2 weeks old. A lot of people attributed it to his size (born 11lbs 7 oz). We never really figured out what was wrong, but I didn't give up and something seemed to 'click' around 2 weeks and we happily nursed for another 2 1/2 years! I am interested to see how this baby will differ from his/her older brother. I hope this one is much more mellow than he was!

So yeah, I am still pregnant. Not gonna say ANYTHING about contractions or progress because anytime I do, I seem to jinx myself and they go away! I hope I don't end up UC'ing because I am too scared of making them stop to call the midwives in time!

GTG (every time I read that I see 'got to go' haha) that is so so scary! I know there are a lot of feminists here on mdc, but thank God for big strong husbands!!! I hope you guys are able to work something out with your current landlord (I used to be an apartment manager, and I would encourage you to read your lease very carefully to make sure you don't end up really getting screwed for breaking your lease). Hope you can move somewhere where you can sleep at night!

[jsh7809]

Does anyone else feel like with their babe they are constantly taking two steps forward and two steps back? Every time I find something she likes, she changes her mind within a few days... ugh. I know this is normal and will not change as we go through toddlerhood, etc. I found myself telling DH over and over today that it will get easier, it will get better, we will stop feeling so much like we're in a war... I don't know if he believed me .
Then we went to a baby shower where everyone cooed over our baby, and really their optimism and encouragement, etc., for us helped a lot. Which was great, cause we went into it feeling like the crabbiest old anti baby grouches (sleep was terrible last night)... I want to tell everyone I know "use protection" sometimes!
Now though? She's wearing an adorable jumper suit that finally fits her. She spent some time being really cute and quietly alert (we don't get a lot of that except maybe in the mornings). I'm putting her in the moby so I can make banana bread. DH is more patient and loving with her than he was earlier. So I am feeling optimistic again.
She's 4 weeks tomorrow and I am trying to enjoy her infancy but also REALLY looking forward to a 6 week marker, hoping our BFing issues get sorted even more and so on. My supply sometimes seems more even (I started on sage yesterday) but then this morning I was totally engorged and had to pump before feeding her... got like 4 ounces in 5 minutes, which I know sounds great. But is not so hot when it makes the baby choke and spit up and get painful gas.
My 6 week midwife appointment was yesterday (4 weeks since she's going out of town) and I am almost all healed and, surprisingly, cleared for sex in another week or two! Which is huge, since I had to have surgery after delivery. She did find that I have a yeast infection, which tells you where I am at with feeling with it enough to be checked in with my body these days I thought it was just from healing stitches.
Also, the babe has gained almost 3 pounds in a month, and I have lost almost 30! I realize a lot of this was water and the baby, placenta, etc. But I gained 60 total so I am hoping I can lose the rest in the next 4-6 months or so... not really up for working out yet but apparently sleep deprivation, being too tired and busy to eat as often as I should, and stress are a good diet. I hope that we get more energy for big walks and things soon.

Maybe it's two steps forward, only one step back
Hope everyone gets some peace and optimism this weekend (myself included!).

[crazyeight]

i'm not sure about other states or even exactly this one but when i was the victim of DV i was ALLOWED to break my lease within 30 days because i was the victim in that property. they were allowed to keep my deposit but they couldn't say anything bad about me or hold me reliable for the rest of the rent etc. i am not sure about if you aren't prosecuting someone (but do have a police report) but if you call the court ask if they have some victim asistence program or something similar (we have victim witness for dv) and they might have ways you can protect yourself.

[jenfl]

Originally Posted by jsh7809

Does anyone else feel like with their babe they are constantly taking two steps forward and two steps back? Every time I find something she likes, she changes her mind within a few days... ugh. I know this is normal and will not change as we go through toddlerhood, etc.

As they get older, though, they don't change as fast. Your coping techniques last a lot longer -- but then it's harder to notice that they're a different kid, and that's why what worked for months doesn't work anymore. (Says the parent who's just starting to notice that her newly-3 year old daughter isn't responding to the same old same old).

At just a few weeks old, though, things are changing nearly daily. You can't rotate shield frequencies fast enough!

[jsh7809]

Originally Posted by jenfl

As they get older, though, they don't change as fast. Your coping techniques last a lot longer -- but then it's harder to notice that they're a different kid, and that's why what worked for months doesn't work anymore. (Says the parent who's just starting to notice that her newly-3 year old daughter isn't responding to the same old same old).

At just a few weeks old, though, things are changing nearly daily. You can't rotate shield frequencies fast enough!

Ha ha, nice! I don't get trekkie jokes, but I do know that this kid better start letting her parents watch Battlestar Galactica in the evenings without screaming through it or we're gonna lose it
I will pass that along to DH - things are feeling better this morning. I think (god I hope I'm not jinxing it!) some of my oversupply issues are being helped with the sage tincture!! I can't express how excited I am, the last 15 or so hours have been great. Mostly happy evening baby (yes some fussiness, but more cute quiet alert than before, and usually we could figure out what she needed when she cried!!), easier to put her to bed, she slept in her own crib in her own room and I got up twice to nurse with longer periods in between! I honestly could've slept from about 10pm till about 8am (plus an hour up two times to feed her and burp her and put her back down) if I hadn't spent the period between 10-11 listening for her to wake up, and from 6am the same. I just couldn't believe she was going to keep sleeping after 6am with no extended period of wakefulness!! I heard all of this chatter but she never started crying!!
I feel like we may have turned a little corner - I hope! - and even if it's just a temporary reprieve, I had a happy, smiling month old (!! already?!) today cooing and talking to herself next to me. It's a totally different feeling from most of the past few weeks
PHEW!!

[jenfl]

Would anyone like a 3 year old? I'll cut you a really good deal....