Originally Posted by cody'smomma
waiting2bmommy - do you find it fairly easy to stick to your schedule? I really want to implement something like this and have it up on the wall so ds knows what comes next, but I find myself REALLY resisting it. I HATE to be scheduled, but on the other hand I do so much better when I have one. ARGH! What a catch 22 to be in.
I find that following a loose routine helps me be more likely to stick to it.
I used to plan elaborate schedules with everything planned down almost to the minute. And while it was a relief and helped clear/organize my mind to see my whole day spelled out and just follow the schedule, I find that with kids you have to be flexible and it would frustrate me when things didn't go as planned, which robbed me of joy, plus once I get off track I have a hard time getting back on track, so if some trivial thing happens that messes with the minutiae of the schedule it throws me off for the rest of the day.
It's part of my perfectionsim/anxiety thing. A lot ofmy personal self esteem is tied up in how well I cook, keep house, do school with ds, make sure both kids look nice, I/m dressed, etc. If the kids aren't dressed and I haven't prepared a healthy meal and the house isn't clean and I haven't spent quality time with each kid, and on and on, I feel like a failure. A detailed schedule is, for me, just another opportunity to fail.
So I am trying to learn to let go of the little things and just focus on the big picture. Healthy meals made from scratch becomes three meals that at least involve a protein, a grain and something fruit/vegetable related. sometimes out of a can. oh well. quality time with ds...it still counts if all we did was read a bunch of stories together. I'm always trying to do these elaborate super fun projects with him and then it never works out how I meant it to
clothing--I used to hold very high standards for how everybody looked, now i consider it a success if he is wearing underpants under whatever outrageous outfit he has concocted (for play, that is, not for leaving the house though!) dd is still at my mercy when it comes to looking cute
I'm trying to learn to set REALISTIC expectations for myself, so that I can feel successful, rather than setting the bar so high that I can rarely if ever accomplish it, and then feeling like the worst mom/housekeeper/cook/partner etc. A routine with clear goals is a lot easier to manage than a minute by minute play by play outline of what I hope to accomplish. I have in the past had success also with writing stuff on a whiteboard and wiping it off as I accomplished it....just the major stuff...cook dinner, wash diapers, put diapers away (yes those are separate tasks for me lol), do school with ds, make the beds. It's easier to follow that and I think you won't feel yourself resisting it as much as you would a stricter schedule. I don't know if any of that makes sense or relates to you at all, and as usual I've written a novel to answer a simple question....