Parents w/ADD- Support thread- 4! - Page 2

[Proudmom2Teeg]

Hi,

Struggling with ADD and am not on meds as I am currently nursing. Researching natural ways to help as I am really struggling in school and other areas.

[heidirk]

Originally Posted by Proudmom2Teeg

Hi,

Struggling with ADD and am not on meds as I am currently nursing. Researching natural ways to help as I am really struggling in school and other areas.

Here's a link that might help. We have all been there, and we know what its like.

http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/medref.html

oh, and...

[damona]

i have no idea what i was going to post about. gee, i wonder if i'm in the right thread? *sigh* i really have to learn not to open messenger until i am done posting.

[Proudmom2Teeg]

Thanks Heidrick,

I will check out the website. There are no meds we can take while nursing for ADD right? That is what I have heard.

[Proudmom2Teeg]

this semester is out and I so need a break for summer. Anyone else in school struggling with ADD? I am barely been scraping by with A's where it used to be so easy for me on meds. I cant make myself read my books...I sit there and five minutes later I dont realize I have wondered off to thinking about something else. Next semester is going to be even harder. People around me are saying I should wean my son ( 1year old) so I can take meds. That is just not going to happen no weaning here!

[OdinsMommy0409]

I too am an ADHD mommy with an ADHD DH

I've been diagnosed since 9yo, no meds, and went to behavioral therapy weekly from 4th-11th grade (and always had a tutor for math subjects).

I dealt with major depression during college and was put on some heavy meds. When I came off the meds, I felt like I had to start over completely with the behavior mods. I implemented all my tools and managed to get back toward "normal."

I always have a 1-2 year adjustment period with newly significant/major life changes. I'm finally getting back to a more productive life. Last year, I was completely focused on adjusting to motherhood so in the past month or so, I've finally been able to start being a mommy and wife

[heidirk]

Originally Posted by damona

i have no idea what i was going to post about. gee, i wonder if i'm in the right thread? *sigh* i really have to learn not to open messenger until i am done posting.

gee...I never do that...


Odinsmommy- welcome! I understand the two year adjustment period! I thought it was just me!

you know, I was afraid that that would happen to me w/meds. I wasn't diagnosed till 19, so I already had a host of coping techniques- although most of them were only suited to schoolwork.

and- my DH has many Aspie characteristics AND many ADD symptoms.

[OdinsMommy0409]

Originally Posted by heidirk

gee...I never do that...


Odinsmommy- welcome! I understand the two year adjustment period! I thought it was just me!

you know, I was afraid that that would happen to me w/meds. I wasn't diagnosed till 19, so I already had a host of coping techniques- although most of them were only suited to schoolwork.

and- my DH has many Aspie characteristics AND many ADD symptoms.

Thanks! Yeah, I noticed the 1-2 year adjustment about 10 years ago, and now it seems like I'm in a perpetual state of adjustment.

My DH was never given any tools/techniques for his ADHD, but his parents were happy to medicate him. Grrr! He barely made it/probably shouldn't have out of high school, but I think he's smarter than me. He's been learning more and picking up some behavior mods, particularly with time management. It helps that I formerly provided the outreach services for a college counseling center and spent many hours teaching seminars and one-to-ones on time management, anxiety, study skills, etc.

And, the meds thing freaked me out when I first came off them. First, I was dealing with feeling a range of emotions for the first time in my life, but I was truly happy. Then, my mind was racing 3x the speed it had been for 2 years. It was quite humorous to me (& my professors) just how profound my impulsivity had become in the classroom. Fortunately, I had become friends with many of my professors, and they appreciated everything that I was doing.

PS. I love the craziness my DH and I have together. I'm amazed at where our conversations from beginning to end will go sometimes.

[smeisnotapirate]

Hey peeps - check this out, hot off the press: ADHD linked to pesticide exposure.

[jessjgh1]

Do they include lawn pesticides in that.... I need stuff on that, dh is insisting we treat the lawn when we move, and I really DON"T want to. Need to find stuff-- or maybe agree to track down and dig up all intruders in our new lawn to be- but with my ADD mind I know I'll forget, no matter how well intended. Grrr.
Jessica

[heidirk]

I'd assume so...



I cannot find my wallet. I need to go grocery shopping. The last place I had it was K-Mart. The thing is, I am absolutely neurotic about keeping track of thee things- my kids, my keys, and my wallet. I don't loce these things. Sometimes they get mved on me, like the time Henry stashed my key in a box we were sorting and it got put in the attic. But I do NOT misplace those things.


Grrrrrrr..........

[waiting2bemommy]

Originally Posted by cody'smomma

waiting2bmommy - do you find it fairly easy to stick to your schedule? I really want to implement something like this and have it up on the wall so ds knows what comes next, but I find myself REALLY resisting it. I HATE to be scheduled, but on the other hand I do so much better when I have one. ARGH! What a catch 22 to be in.

I find that following a loose routine helps me be more likely to stick to it.

I used to plan elaborate schedules with everything planned down almost to the minute. And while it was a relief and helped clear/organize my mind to see my whole day spelled out and just follow the schedule, I find that with kids you have to be flexible and it would frustrate me when things didn't go as planned, which robbed me of joy, plus once I get off track I have a hard time getting back on track, so if some trivial thing happens that messes with the minutiae of the schedule it throws me off for the rest of the day.

It's part of my perfectionsim/anxiety thing. A lot ofmy personal self esteem is tied up in how well I cook, keep house, do school with ds, make sure both kids look nice, I/m dressed, etc. If the kids aren't dressed and I haven't prepared a healthy meal and the house isn't clean and I haven't spent quality time with each kid, and on and on, I feel like a failure. A detailed schedule is, for me, just another opportunity to fail.

So I am trying to learn to let go of the little things and just focus on the big picture. Healthy meals made from scratch becomes three meals that at least involve a protein, a grain and something fruit/vegetable related. sometimes out of a can. oh well. quality time with ds...it still counts if all we did was read a bunch of stories together. I'm always trying to do these elaborate super fun projects with him and then it never works out how I meant it to clothing--I used to hold very high standards for how everybody looked, now i consider it a success if he is wearing underpants under whatever outrageous outfit he has concocted (for play, that is, not for leaving the house though!) dd is still at my mercy when it comes to looking cute

I'm trying to learn to set REALISTIC expectations for myself, so that I can feel successful, rather than setting the bar so high that I can rarely if ever accomplish it, and then feeling like the worst mom/housekeeper/cook/partner etc. A routine with clear goals is a lot easier to manage than a minute by minute play by play outline of what I hope to accomplish. I have in the past had success also with writing stuff on a whiteboard and wiping it off as I accomplished it....just the major stuff...cook dinner, wash diapers, put diapers away (yes those are separate tasks for me lol), do school with ds, make the beds. It's easier to follow that and I think you won't feel yourself resisting it as much as you would a stricter schedule. I don't know if any of that makes sense or relates to you at all, and as usual I've written a novel to answer a simple question....

[damona]

i've lost my drivers license. no idea where it went. it's just gone. just. gone.

been a crazy day. kids are just bonkers today, and i'm climbing the walls. can't seem to settle in to doing any one thing.

do any of you get these moods where you drive yourself nuts b/c you just don't know what you want to do?

also, DH is not helping. he works 3rd shift, so i understand that he's tired, but i consider myself lucky if i sleep 4 hours a night, partly because he works third and i hate being alone. so why is it that he gets to come home, put the kids on the bus, and go to bed until 6, 7, 8pm? he seriously sleeps like 10 or 12 hours a day. i feel like a single parent so much of the time... it adds to my stress and makes me jumpy as h-e-double hockey sticks.

it's just not been a good day.

[waiting2bemommy]

I'm so embarrassed...I have to go get SO from work at 2 and the house looks a mess. the worst part is helped me get it in order yesterday. I've been sitting on the computer bouncing dd in the bouncy seat thinking eventually she would fall asleep but every time I've stopped bouncing she just woke back up or started fussing. So I've been sitting here wasting time for over an hour. that sounds like a total excuse doesn't it?

I SUCK at housekeeping.

[heidirk]

damona- I absolutely DO have that problem, in fact you just described my day, today. DH is due home in about 30 mins and I am still in my comfy clothes, and I have not accomplished anything of significance.

although- after almost 10 yrs of marriage, I think it doesn't really surprise him anymore.

waiting2bmommy- yup, here too. I feel latelyike I just stink at everything I try to do.


So, I am going to take a shower when DH gets home. I'll have an hour. I am going to shower, and take a break. I don't actually have a problem asking him for what I need. In fact I can get pretty demanding.

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by heidirk

. I'll have an hour. I am going to shower, and take a break. I don't actually have a problem asking him for what I need. In fact I can get pretty demanding.

Lessons, please!!!

Jessica

[baglady]

May I join? Obviously, I haven't actually made it through every post.

I was diagnosed at 18. I was on medication on and off depending on how much I had going on. DS was born in January 2009, then nursing. I'm now expecting number 2 in January 2011.

I'm getting really overwhelmed. I know I'm not going to be able to handle an infant and a toddler. My house is already messy with laundry and toys piled everywhere.

The crazy thing is I forgot about my ADD until this week. All of a sudden a light bulb went off and I remembered why I couldn't focus. How ADD is that?

I'll be watching the thread for tips. I feel like I'm at the edge of a lake on the verge of drowning sometimes.

[baglady]

Forgot to sub.

[heidirk]

Originally Posted by jessjgh1

Lessons, please!!!

Jessica

When your DP/SO walks in, hand them the smallest kiddo and announce you're on a break. Seriously. they do it- why shouldn't we?

Originally Posted by baglady

May I join? Obviously, I haven't actually made it through every post.

I was diagnosed at 18. I was on medication on and off depending on how much I had going on. DS was born in January 2009, then nursing. I'm now expecting number 2 in January 2011.

I'm getting really overwhelmed. I know I'm not going to be able to handle an infant and a toddler. My house is already messy with laundry and toys piled everywhere.

The crazy thing is I forgot about my ADD until this week. All of a sudden a light bulb went off and I remembered why I couldn't focus. How ADD is that?

I'll be watching the thread for tips. I feel like I'm at the edge of a lake on the verge of drowning sometimes.

and welcome.

[flminivanmama]

my dh learned his "lesson" when our twins (who are now 10) were babies and I had gone out for some me time (it was probably even the first time) - he called me on my cell & said, "they're both crying and I don't know what to do" and I said, "Yeah, that happens to me all the time" and I hung up the phone.