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Parents w/ADD- Support thread- 4! - Page 3

post #41 of 131
Unfortunatly, the kids often come back down looking for me.
I'm seriously thinking of having plans to be out for 1-2 weeks from 8-10 so my dd gets used to daddy putting her to sleep.
Jessica
post #42 of 131
Andrea, that is truly an epic win.

Jess, I have to actually leave the house to get alone time. If I'm in the house, there will always be a reason why I should be watching the kids instead of DH.
post #43 of 131
yep - leaving the house is key
post #44 of 131
Ok, I know all the lifehack/productivity sites say that one of the most important things you can do to be productive is wake up early, but I just can't do it. I can stay up until all manners of the night/morning, but waking up early? You've got to be kidding me. First of all, waking up before DS is a joke because if anyone makes a peep after 5am, he's awake and won't nap all day long - and I'll need a nap by lunchtime. If you don't bother him until later, not only will he sleep longer in the morning, but odds are he'll take a nap, too! Odds of him napping improve even more if we don't leave the house during the day.

Gah - just once, I want to see someone tell me how to put my life together so it works the way my biological clock works - from 10am to 2am. None of this 6am to 10pm stuff.

And I need more time away from DS. Seriously. This whole I'm-two-years-old-and-everything-is-tantrum-worthy thing and I are NOT getting along. I don't know how many times I've said "I'm really sorry, kid, but there's a baby in the other room who needs me right now, so you need to just deal with it." I love the kid, but after dealing with him all day, I want to either throw him out the window or throw myself out the window. I can't decide which.
post #45 of 131
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by flminivanmama View Post
my dh learned his "lesson" when our twins (who are now 10) were babies and I had gone out for some me time (it was probably even the first time) - he called me on my cell & said, "they're both crying and I don't know what to do" and I said, "Yeah, that happens to me all the time" and I hung up the phone.
Seriously. I was just thinking about this today. He leaves the house each morning with perfect confidence that not only will everyone be alive when he gets home, but everyone will have been fed, is clean, and the house is clean and everyone is in a reasonably good mood, and no one needs him for anything more than a snuggle. Seriously? I wonder what would happen if he knew how close a call the 'alive' thing is some days.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jessjgh1 View Post
Unfortunatly, the kids often come back down looking for me.
I'm seriously thinking of having plans to be out for 1-2 weeks from 8-10 so my dd gets used to daddy putting her to sleep.
Jessica
That is an EXCELLENT idea.

Quote:
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post
Andrea, that is truly an epic win.

Jess, I have to actually leave the house to get alone time. If I'm in the house, there will always be a reason why I should be watching the kids instead of DH.
yes. this. and big hugs to you, this is such a huge adjustment.
post #46 of 131
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
Seriously. I was just thinking about this today. He leaves the house each morning with perfect confidence that not only will everyone be alive when he gets home, but everyone will have been fed, is clean, and the house is clean and everyone is in a reasonably good mood, and no one needs him for anything more than a snuggle.
yes! this is mine down to a tee. Last night dd screamed and would not be put down asleep or awake from 6:30 until 11 pm. I'm pretty sure the mainstream world would call her "colicky" and much as I love her I feel confident in calling her a "high needs" baby since she only sleeps in the sling or in our bed with one of us snuggling her. none of that bassinet stuff for her.

and during this time SO watched me try to comfort her, tried a couple times, realized that she was going to cry no matter what, and finally shrugged and sat down at the computer and put his earphones in to watch a movie. of course, she cried no matter what for ME too. but, you know, I'm mom, so that makes it ok.

I'm pretty sure he does not understand that it takes epicamounts of effort to produce a clean house, 3 healthy meals, and 2 happy, well dressed children by the time he gets home. especially when you have a child who follows you around all.day.long. asking questions like "mommy, why don't I have a vagina?" and "mommy, can you smell my butt? It's dirty and it stinks." while simultaneously climbing the walls. literally. my kid can scale walls. he reaches things *I* can't reach, and makes huge messes with them while I'm otherwise occupied. Like right now, he just brought his entire toybox ito the living room, dumped out the toys, took off his clothes and climbed in to announce that he is taking a bath. ay.
post #47 of 131
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy View Post
yes! this is mine down to a tee. Last night dd screamed and would not be put down asleep or awake from 6:30 until 11 pm. I'm pretty sure the mainstream world would call her "colicky" and much as I love her I feel confident in calling her a "high needs" baby since she only sleeps in the sling or in our bed with one of us snuggling her. none of that bassinet stuff for her.

and during this time SO watched me try to comfort her, tried a couple times, realized that she was going to cry no matter what, and finally shrugged and sat down at the computer and put his earphones in to watch a movie. of course, she cried no matter what for ME too. but, you know, I'm mom, so that makes it ok.

I'm pretty sure he does not understand that it takes epicamounts of effort to produce a clean house, 3 healthy meals, and 2 happy, well dressed children by the time he gets home. especially when you have a child who follows you around all.day.long. asking questions like "mommy, why don't I have a vagina?" and "mommy, can you smell my butt? It's dirty and it stinks." while simultaneously climbing the walls. literally. my kid can scale walls. he reaches things *I* can't reach, and makes huge messes with them while I'm otherwise occupied. Like right now, he just brought his entire toybox ito the living room, dumped out the toys, took off his clothes and climbed in to announce that he is taking a bath. ay.
I have so much sympathy for you! I have been sick since yesterday, very nauseous- and I just went to bed. I told DH that he was on duty. I actually NEVER do this. So HE had to deal with the unending, "Daddy I just stuck all of Milo's easter grass behind the dishwasher! " "Look Daddy, I'm wearing my supersuit!" " I am eating maple seelup!" "Daddy, Milo just made a huge mess!"

Congrats on your highneedling! Next time hide the earplugs.
post #48 of 131
Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy View Post

I'm pretty sure he does not understand that it takes epicamounts of effort to produce a clean house, 3 healthy meals, and 2 happy, well dressed children by the time he gets home. especially when you have a child who follows you around all.day.long. asking questions like "mommy, why don't I have a vagina?" and "mommy, can you smell my butt? It's dirty and it stinks." while simultaneously climbing the walls. literally. my kid can scale walls. he reaches things *I* can't reach, and makes huge messes with them while I'm otherwise occupied. Like right now, he just brought his entire toybox ito the living room, dumped out the toys, took off his clothes and climbed in to announce that he is taking a bath. ay.
mama, i hear you. my DH frequently says things like "i don't understand why you're so tired, all you do is sit around the house." or "why isn't dinner ready? you started it an hour ago."

why they can't understand what we deal with... well, i'll never understand.

last night i had a huge fight with my mom over the phone, while i was trying to cook dinner, with 4 kids underfoot, plus about 8 other people in and out of the house (i love my friends and neighbours, but sometimes...) and i ended up just yelling at her to shut up and slamming down the phone because i was so hot and tired and in pain and stressed out, and she was just dragging up the same old $hit about my dad (they've been divorced for 15 years, for heavens sake, i think it's time to let it go, at least a bit!) i just lost it. all of a sudden i was just ill at the sight and smell of the food i was cooking and i just walked out. told DH "you do it, i'm done for the night" and left. in short shorts, a tank top, and an apron, i might add i walked around the corner to my friends apartment and just stayed there, for about 2 hours. when i came home, kids had been fed and put to bed, but the living room was covered in a fine coating of crunchy things and all the plates and cups from dinner were all over, and there were toys everywhere. it's almost more trouble to leave than to just deal with it, honestly, but if i didn't get out of the house, i was going to totally lose it. ugh.

i adore my husband, but there are times i'd love to just crack him over the head with the nearest blunt object.

also, i'm now scared to call my mom, or even text her. last time we had a fight like this she didn't talk to me for weeks. it makes my stomach hurt.
post #49 of 131
Thread Starter 
Quote:
i adore my husband, but there are times i'd love to just crack him over the head with the nearest blunt object.


Quote:
also, i'm now scared to call my mom, or even text her. last time we had a fight like this she didn't talk to me for weeks. it makes my stomach hurt.



Good for you, though! Some people don't recognize subtle at all. And for my DH, its only when he's smacked in the face with a situation that he finally cannot ignore, that he can actually take action. That is why, every Thursday night, I leave, and go knit with my friends. The only times I consider staying home are if the kids are dealthly ill, DH is in a particularly foul mood (but then I usually just threaten him with bodily harm if he doesn't perk up), or I'm too sick. Now that the boys are bit older, I don't even make sure 'everything is set up' before I leave, I just get ready and go.

I have to trust him to take care of them.
I have to give him an opportunity to learn/do.
I NEED time to myself.
post #50 of 131
Thread Starter 
Hi! how is everyone doing?
post #51 of 131
i'm not sure whether to say "yay! school is almost out!" or "oh dear heaven, school is almost out!" this summer is certainly going to be interesting.

my mom is still not talking to me. well, not literally talking. she has texted me a few times. better than nothing, i suppose.

i am so tired and stressed out, and our annual inspections are coming up, which is just adding to it. i have 2 walls with huge holes (grr... children...) that i have to patch, and a room to be painted b/c somebody (ahem, dh, ahem) didn't put his sharpie markers from work up high enough.

i went to the laundromat yesterday and spent 60 bucks and 4 1/2 hours doing 14 loads of laundry. at least half of the stuff is going to be donated. we apparently have waaaaaay too many clothes!

how is everyone else doing?
post #52 of 131
Hey, what happened? Everybody got focused and started keeping spotless houses and perfectly behaved children? Am I the only scatterbrained, distractible soul left on MDC? tell me it isn't so!!!!
post #53 of 131
Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy View Post
Hey, what happened? Everybody got focused and started keeping spotless houses and perfectly behaved children? Am I the only scatterbrained, distractible soul left on MDC? tell me it isn't so!!!!
LOL, I wish.
There's probably at least 10 things I wish I could post about on here, but that's not going to happen.

I can't believe how hard it is to shift gears now that summer is here. We went and jumped in the car for a week of travelling too, so I suppose both things on top of each other didn't make it any easier, but wow! Hope I can catch some groove soon... I seem to be running on 'overwhelm/too busy' and 'someone needs to kick my butt/lazy', both yucky extremes.

Jessica
post #54 of 131
Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy View Post
Hey, what happened? Everybody got focused and started keeping spotless houses and perfectly behaved children? Am I the only scatterbrained, distractible soul left on MDC? tell me it isn't so!!!!


Uh, no.
post #55 of 131
oh good. I need the company.

I started working 4 nights a week and y house went to pieces. It got to an all time low two days ago and so I" spent all day yesterday trying to restore order, only to end the day feeding random box food to everyone for dinner because I melted a plastic cintainer in the oven and started a fire, and didn't have time to clean it out and make the quiche I had planned for dinner. sigh. just another day in my world....: eyesroll

on the topic of ADD has anyone read the book "Scattered?" It's really interesting...
post #56 of 131
OMG, what a crappy day.

Yesterday DS and I had a knock-down-drag-out fight over sleep. (Ridiculous, no?) It ended with him falling asleep around 10 after I totally lost it crying. Way to go, mama.

This child just doesn't sleep. I'll spare you the details, but UGH. I need more sleep than he's giving me - and let's not even talk about the quality time I never get with DH. I'm amazed DD was ever conceived.

Today is better. I implemented all the rules of NCSS for Toddlers and so far, I have both kids napping.

If you pray, pray for me. I haven't even started to think about my house.
post #57 of 131
I know this doesn't help you *now* but as they get older it gets easier, even if they still won't sleep... my twins are 10 and my youngest is 9 and although they sometimes still like to stay awake for longer than I think is healthier they have understood for at least a few years my desperate need for downtime in the evening.... I can't remember how long it's been? but for quite a few years now they've just gone up nicely when I asked them to.
post #58 of 131
No, Andrea - that thought is what's preventing me from killing DS.

Seriously, though. I chant "you're going to be an awesome school-aged kid" a thousand times a day. He's independent-minded, always wants to play, and non-stop. It's going to be great when he's 6 or 7 and can DO all the things he wants to do. We're going to have a blast.

For now?



post #59 of 131
Thread Starter 
IDK Smee- having a night time routine is what helped Henry the most. He NEEDED to learn how to go to sleep. and I agree with Andrea, although, I'd say by 4 he'll do better going to sleep. Hen's doing so much better.

He most definitely needs less sleep that I wish he did. He is SO much fun! The comments! the conclusions! Oy!


no, I am not suddenly super organized. I wasn't checking in because I feel lonely when no one checks in.

ANd DRUMMROLL please! I am officially in charge of everthing here at home except for *mowing the lawn *taking out the trash *and changing the oil in the car! Yes, I am now the proud manager of ALL the family finances! Hey, at least DH is still doing those other things.....right?
post #60 of 131
Hey there! I haven't read all the previous posts...lost interest, go figure

I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 12 and was on ritalin for about a year. My dad didn't approve of me being on the meds so he took me off...even though I went from a C average in school to straight A's.

My grades dropped right away once I was off the meds and I struggled a lot in high school and college, but I finished and got my degree.

I'm really impulsive. I moved to Spain the day after I graduated high school...no plan, but ended up being awesome. I joined the military after seeing one recruiting commercial. I told dh I wanted to marry him after we had been dating for a week....luckily he's far more grounded than me and made me wait a year

I can't keep friends for the life of me. I get bored very easily and don't do well when people want to get together more than once a month or so. I'm also brutally honest and say things without thinking.

I think when I'm done nursing this new babe I'll consider getting back on meds. For now, my life just is what it is.
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