Parents w/ADD- Support thread- 4! - Page 4

[smeisnotapirate]

Things are looking up here. DS is going to bed earlier (we're putting him to bed earlier) and things are getting better.

Hi, OM!

[damona]

would it be really pathetic if i admitted that i almost forgot about this thread until it was on the first page again? yeah...

did my house get magically organized? ahahahaahahaaaha. no. not at all.

the day after school was out, i realized that my little darling first grader had brought home a going away from school present to share with all his brothers. yes, that's right, it rhymes with "rice". i had to shave all of them, wash everything... and do it all with natural stuff, cuz my crew is so sensitive to chemical stuff. and what a huge pain in the behind all that was. i think i scrubbed my fingerprints off.

so my house looks like toys r us exploded, cuz i have been too tired to care. it's been hotter than blazes, and i finally nagged enough that the guys decided today that putting in the a/c in the living room was easier than listening to me any longer. (i can be very focused when i want to be... heh.)

i did get to run away and spend tuesday and wednesday at my best friends house, with absolutely no children. it was amazing. coming back home was like culture shock, tho.

oh, and smee? i feel your pain. my older 2 just went to bed at 11pm. i have no life in the summer.

[waiting2bemommy]

Uh I just need to vent....my apparent lack of housekeeping skills is going to ruin my relationship with SO. I know it sounds petty, but it's so embarrassing. I was doing great for a while but I've started working everything is falling apart. I just have horrible time management, I'm WAY overextended (for example I'm babysitting a friend's kids at her house today until 3, when she will take me home so I can dressed and go to work from 5-10 PM and she will stay with my kids AND hers in my house until their dad gets home from work.). I tried to make quiche the other day and got the engredients out and starting mixing everything, only to discover that I had preheated the stove with a plastic container still stored inside. It caught on fire and filled the house with this horrible stench, and I still can't use the oven because even though I've scraped it out it is still smoking and stinking really bad whenever I turn it on. I planted a garden outside and haven't weeded in a week so there is grass growing in between the cucumbers. I still haven't taken ds' long sleeved clothes out of his drawers so he has a dresser full of clothes but nothing to wear. I had to get a library card for 2 month old dd sot hat we could check out library books, because ds and I both have such huge overdue fines and I can't find the books. I keep forgetting to take my medication. I really want to take adderall or something but I'm nursing so my only choices are prozac for my depression (whic I'm on) and abilify.

SO and I are talking about marriage and stuff and I feel like "who would want to marry me" when I can't even keep the house clean, dinner made and laundry put away. I can't even enjoy DTD because I can't pay attention long enough to enjoy it. It freakin sucks. Sleep deprivation fro working graveyard shift is killing me. I am a MESS.

[smeisnotapirate]

This might not be helpful, so I'm sorry ahead of time, but WHY IS ALL OF THIS YOUR JOB??

Sounds like your SO could be helping out more, IMO.

That's a ton of crap on your plate No wonder it's hard to focus.

[damona]

waiting2be, can you talk to the library people and see if they'll drop the fines if you pay for the books (if that would be less than the fines), or freeze the fines or something? lots of times they will be co-operative about things like that.

as far as forgetting your meds, try taping the bottle to the bathroom mirror. or on the handle of your hair brush, or something else that you will use and see every day. that's what i used to do with my bc pills, otherwise i would forget.

i can't remember the last time i opened a drawer to take out clothes to put on. clothes live in the laundry baskets in my house, and dishes live in the dish drainer. i have too much else to do to fuss with details like that, honestly. and if dh doesn't like it, well, he can just bloody well do it


i've been sleeping on the couch for the last 3 nights, since i started trying to unearth my bedroom from the zillions of clothes that we have. i got as far as sorting my things into separate piles on my bed (short sleeve, long sleeve, sweaters, pj's, pants, skirts), and then got distracted and haven't really cared since. dh works third shift and i hate sleeping upstairs alone, so i know i'm just stalling, but still, i need to finish that project. anyway, the a/c is downstairs, so i keep justifying it that way .

i did manage to get the bathroom cleaned with the help of my 9yo ds yesterday, so there's that.

oh, and i found out that inspections are in july, not august (we live in subsidized housing) so that is a huge pain, cuz the lady who comes around to inspect walks around with a yardstick at waist level and heaven help you if there isn't at least that much clearance everywhere in the whole place, including the basement. 2 years ago she told me that i couldn't store stuff (sams club type big boxes of tp and so on) under the kitchen table b/c that is a trip hazard. i couldn't believe that one. no one i know over the age of 2 walks under a kitchen table. ugh!

[heidirk]

Hi people.


bbl

[applecider]

waiting2bmommy - That sounds really stressful and I'm sorry you are having to deal with it. Sometimes it's nice to just STOP. Sit and do nothing and wait for a glimmer of motivation. At least that's what I do. Although really, I always feel like I'm just barely hanging on, just keeping us afloat...I do hope it won't always be like that! I chalk it up to having young kids who can't do much for themselves.

Ok people, I am here...each time I get an update on this thread in my email, I mark it so I can go back. I've probably done that like, 5 times and I never go back!

Things are ok here, same as usual. But I quit taking Wellbutrin because frankly, I wasn't feeling any better and I was really cranky. I have been taking my supplements much more regularly and I've been feeling much better. And I've been eating liver much more often even though I don't really like it that much it is FULL of b-12 and I find I have so much more energy. Plus I have like 10 pounds in the freezer .

Summer is finally here in the NW! I'm excited to get out and get some vit d. Hopefully all that will make me happy. I also finally decided that DP and I need to just cough up the money for some counseling. Whatever it takes.

Anyhoo...hope everyone is hanging in there!

[waiting2bemommy]

I hate to always be the one whining on thsi thread (and digging it out of its grave too...)

but I am seriously going bonkers. I don't know why I keep piling more on my plate. I guess I keep telling myself "it will get better when xyz happens" but somehow I'm just never on top of things anymore. I was doing great and now, I'm really not.

i'm also not taking my medicin regularly and I know that's part of the problem.It's sitting right there and I just...don't take it. I want to, I know I need to, I know I'd feel better if I did, but I don't. I don't know why. It makes no sense and I feel so dumb even writing this because I am just so IRRITATED with myself. Maybe someone here could offer me a virtual kick or two in the butt?

I'm tired, can't pay attention to anything very long, am completely overwhelmed by simple things (like going in a room to clean up, I can stand there for 10 minutes trying to figure out what to pick up first). I'm not hungry and I eat probably one meal a day, even though I need and want to gain weight. Or I just eat junk food...a few cookies, some cheese crackers and a bunch of juice to get me through the day. Everything makes me either pissed off, or so upset that I end up in tears. I actually thought I was pregnant again because it's so bad, but I'm not, so it's just me. All in my head, as usual.

I'm so tired of being like this, and constantly struggling with my self to do normal everyday things. I just hate the fact that I need drugs to enable me to do the basic chores of life that millions of women have been doing, under mush harsher circumstances, for several thousand years. It makes me feel like a failure. I don't even know why SO sticks around, I guess for the kids. He deserves better than this and I feel so guilty. Ugh.

And that's my rant....thanks for letting me vent....

[smeisnotapirate]

First, a big . You're not a failure, and clean house or not, both your DH and your kids are better off because YOU ARE THEIRS.

Second, *kicks you in the butt* . Take those meds, gal! I recognize that feeling - when you're reaching for the bottle and say "ah, who the heck cares" and you walk away without taking them. Force yourself to. Email yourself reminders and JUST.DO.IT. You need to give yourself the help you need.

Third, yes, women have been doing this stuff for thousands of years, but we were not met with societal (and familial) pressure to find work outside the home, we were not expected to do it all alone without other women nearby to lean on, and we certainly weren't expected to do it all alone in our houses with our kids, also keeping THEM entertained. Women of the past had closer families, multigenerational housing, and older children and siblings to help. They didn't have to work. They didn't have the additional guilt of the SAHM in this society that they're "not doing anything productive." () They didn't have to battle with technology, and they didn't have to have so little time to themselves.

Women today are in a tough place. We are expected to work AND raise our kids AND do it while keeping a house clean AND a family well-fed AND look good AND please our husbands. Feminism hasn't come as far as most people think, and I think lots of it has been piling MORE responsibility and pressure onto women instead of balancing the scales. Nobody can do all of that, and anyone who looks like they're doing it is FAKING IT.

So there. That's my vent. I hope you feel better. Take those meds.

[heidirk]

Smee is right W2bMommy- and consider yourself kicked. If your relationship with SO is based on your sucess in an unworkable housekeeping situation, why stay in that relationship? idk...I just think you're worth a deeper love than that, yk?


By the way my husband is for sale or trade. We are flat out broke with no end in sight. I need to try earn some money, and I am totally paralysed because I have no idea where to start.


SO I am hating my brain right now, dealing with a lot of stress, and ready to go crawl in a hole. I'm the whiner today I guess.


damona- I know how you feel- I seem to spend an awful lot of time justifying my own inertia.

[waiting2bemommy]

hows everybody doing? you guys know we have to stay on the front page or we'll forget about the thread, and then none of us will have the attention span to sit and search for it

I read jenny mccarthy's second book,"mother warriors" and even though it's about autism I've been thinking a lot about whether some of the biomedical treatments they used are of any help. i'm still desperate to find something that will help my attention span and none of the meds are an option while nursing.

how is summer treating everyone? the warm weather is a great excuse to stay outside and get exercise and get dirty....and then you don't have to clean the house.

[heidirk]

pretty cruddy all around here. I hate summer.

I would give just about anything to be normal right now.

[smeisnotapirate]

I hate summer too. So freaking humid, and no AC.

What's going on that you're not "normal?" (You seem normal to meeeee.... )

[heidirk]

Thanks...

No, I just wish my brain worked...when I want it to...and ONLY when I want it to.


I have to much to do to have to wrestle my 'uniqenesses' into 'strengths' right now.

I'm exhausted.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by heidirk

Thanks...

No, I just wish my brain worked...when I want it to...and ONLY when I want it to.


I have to much to do to have to wrestle my 'uniqenesses' into 'strengths' right now.

I'm exhausted.

Bleck, I feel you.

Getting my thyroid tested. Evidence has been coming to light that I may not have ADD, it may be a problem like hyperthyroidism because of my weight/focus/anxiety issues. SO blood tests and all that jazz will be had.

[heidirk]

had mine tested a few times. it's always borderline something. Never enough to test further.

Me- I think each system in my body is off just slightly. Put them all togerther and you have a royal mess.

[mamabohl]

so...hi guys! remember me? It's been, like, a year since I've nee over here. had to search a while to find you cuz i couldn't remember what the thread was called. After having baby #3 I kinda dropped MDC, couldn't handle more than email and facebook. I am so overwhelmed with life right now. I've lost several expensive things and made several expensive errors this year. Dh is in Guam, has been since the beginning of June, and i just can't handle it. I'm so SICk of being scatterbrained, of forgetting and losing things, of not being able to find what i need so taking an hour longer to get out of the house than I intended, of having a messy, dirty house, of having dinner hours later than intended. And more. But I'm stuck. I don't have the energy, time or motivation to help myself. It feels like to big a task. But I don't know how to ask for help. I'm embarrassed to tell dh that I'm positive I have add. We've danced around the subject of both of us having our quirks. And we're getting ds evaluated now for a multitude of things (anxiety, depression, a probable learning disability, and something that we're not sure yet, some of the possibilities are adhd, asperger's or odd...), we'll probably end up getting the other ds in eventually too, I think he has some sensory problems. But i still just can't bring it up. I don't want to be a burden to anyone, I don't want to put any focus on me, I don't want to be doubted or ridiculed. I'm just done. UG!

[flminivanmama]

(((mamabohl))))

[heidirk]

Hi mamabohl! sorry things are so hard right now. I understand though, every word. When your world is spinning out of control- it's difficult to have enough perspective to make positive changes.


(speaking of spinning out of control...)

[mamabohl]

thanks! I was having a really bad day. i lost my Maclaren that day.