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UPDATE (#15): Not feeling it. What's new. Eh? - Page 2

post #21 of 22


i would have felt the same way and i'm happy that it all worked out. my dd is 16 and she has said to me in the past that even though she wants nothing to do with her dad and loves my husband, she feels guilty. maybe your dsd feels the same sometimes too and i know the guilt makes it hard for my dd to show my husband how she really feels.
post #22 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by yokosmile View Post
I am sorry. That sounds hard. : (

Your SD's reaction isn't surprising though. Since her mother isn't a good mother, she'll be all the more defensive of her. It's a defense mechanism for coping with her mother abandoning her.

It's just complex psychology. Maybe looking at the situation with that in mind will make it more bearable. Your SD will eventually figure it out; 17 is still really young. I am sure she appreciates you even if the issues involving her mother prevent her from showing it!
Agreed. 17 is a hard age for that as well. If you can be patient, still love her and connect with her as if you don't notice these 'rejections', 20 is a much better age, and 24 even more so. Let her grow up. 17 is perhaps old enough to understand, but maybe not to have the perspective and maturity to act accordingly. The flowers and card are also to attract her mother's attention; she knows you are there for her in a real way that her mother is not. I agree, that she appreciates and loves you more than she can express.
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