Screaming

[Altair]

This has probably been posted countless times, but I'd love some advice or leads towards old threads!

My baby (13 months) entered a LOUD screaming stage. It physically hurts your ears to be near him. He's not screaming when he's upset, or crying, or hurt, or anything like that. It's an "I WANT" or "MORE" or "DO THIS FOR ME" scream... I understand his frustration that he can't find the words.

And actually, he has a LOT of language (can use 50-100 words easily and has high receptive language), and if I redirect him to "use words, say "Mommy, _____" that often fixes the problem. So then he'll say "Mommy, up" or "Mommy help" or "Mommy, water" and the scream won't happen again for that problem. If I don't help him find the words, the scream will continue.

But that doesn't stop him from screaming the next time something else happens!

I've experimented with ignoring the screams, using words, helping him take a break on the couch before responding to the request, not giving him what he wants until he communicates without yelling.... and these all work to some degree (except when I lose it and just say "stop screaming!" that obviously does nothing!) I've had the best success with using words, taking a break, and waiting until he requests it (in any way, even pointing) without screaming. But this SCREAM really sucks when we are out in public, everyone covers their ears and glares. Ha.

Any btdt?

[PeachBaby]

I just started trying this recently with DS who has started to whine/cry, and so far it seems to be working rather well.

I try to notice times when he is using a nice voice and I comment really lots with praise, "You're using such a nice voice, that's so pleasant to hear,......" etc.

Later, when he starts whining for something, I say something like, "Oh, what happened to your nice voice? Let's hear your nice voice!......" etc. Then he switches to his nice voice shortly after (sometimes I have to encourage him a bit, but he eventually does switch).

[littlebabydoll]

I'm impressed your 13 month old is that much of a talker! I guess my son signed more than talked at that age but he still had a least 30 words or more. Maybe it's still early for him and he is having trouble with his words. With time Im sure he will have them ready to use faster. I always hated the "use your words" line I hear moms say. It seems mean to me that a mother can't help communicate unless words are spoken. There are so many other ways to get a point across. (mood, emotion, pointing, signing, being aware of the situation or setting) I think if you want them to talk alot, you have to talk to them just as much to help them figure it all out. You need to GIVE them the words many times over till they really feel confident in using them.

My 18 month old started a screaming when upset phase. All I can really do is plug my ears and tell him it hurts mommy, we dont hurt the ones we love. We have feelings just like you. I encourage him to say "mad" but he doesn't... (he can said helicopter and pedicure, but not mad!??!) I'm also thinking about encouraging foot stomping or something else physical when mad. I guess I'll see in time if it all passes.

I'd love to hear more advice on this topic too. I hate to deafen all my mommy's friends ears at the park with his banshee cries.

[dividedsky]

one of my sons is a screamer. the painful high-pitched kind you described.

maybe there is something that can be done, i don't know. i figure he'll grow out of it and i will just deal until then. i think it's partly not having the words to express an emotion or desire, and partly because he likes to see how high he can get the pitch on his scream!

thank goodness his twin brother doesn't do it too, then i might jump out the window

so yeah, no words of advice, just thought i'd let you know you're not alone!