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I might want another...

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
Not now, obviously. But I didn't feel this way with DD1. In fact, it wasn't until she about 3.5YO that we even thought we'd have another (even though two had always been the plan). But now I'm looking at DD2 and adoring her and her babyness and thinking, "Wow. I don't want this to be the end."

My mom said she felt the same way when she was about my age (37), and that a lot of it has to do with the passage of one stage of life to another.

We don't have the room, we don't have the money... and I think DH's head would explode.
post #2 of 20
i read your other post- it's because your dd is sleeping 6-8 hrs at night!!
post #3 of 20
I am thinking I might want more, too. My last two newborns have been... pretty easy peasy. Probably if they were more difficult newborns, I wouldn't want anymore. But now that Avery is 15 lbs and rolled over the other day and blah blah blah... I feel like he's totally not a newborn anymore - and he's only 7 weeks old I the newborn phase. I'm not doing so well with the "kid" phase that my other two are in, though...

*sigh*

And the argument is a good one for not having more - money, space, time, blah blah blah. I'm only 29, though... so I guess you never know. I keep looking at Avery thinking "WAH! I don't want him to be my last baby!"... but at the same time I'm seriously considering just ditching most of our baby stuff as he outgrows it...

It's probably just hormones and if I got pregnant again (well, I wouldn't want it to be yet, anyway), I'll do the same "omg, what did we dooooo?!?" thing that I did when I was pregnant with Avery.
post #4 of 20
I actually said this just a hour or so after my 2nd was born. I thought...how could we NOT want to do this again?! Now having my 3rd, 6 yrs later (finally!), I'm sure I don't need to do it again.

I have a neighbor who told me about having the yearning for another and then finally having her 3rd and knowing, she was done.

Amy
post #5 of 20
I'm having those thoughts, too. It's DH's fault, though. It took us over 4.5 years to decide to have another one after DD1, then about an hour after DD2 was born he started talking about another. It was because he had convinced himself she was going to be a boy. We were NOT trying for a boy or anything, but he got it into his head that since this pregnancy was soooo different than DD1, it must be a boy. I told him that didn't mean anything all along, but he wouldn't listen. lol So now he thinks we could maybe try one more time and I'm not sure. Maya is a difficult baby, other than that she's sleeping for long stretches at night. When she's awake she's super fussy, so it's hard to imagine wanting to do this again.

We could afford to have one more, and we're military so we're always moving anyway, which means we can generally get as much space as we need (unless we move somewhere where housing prices are crazy high). On the other hand, we had always planned that DD1 would be an only child until not all that long ago, when we decided to have another (and got pregnant INSTANTLY, lol). That means we had always known it would be easy peasy to completely pay for her college, to pay at least half for a car when she turned 16 (want her to pay some!) and those types of things. With 2 almost 6 years apart, it would still be doable, but if we throw another one into the mix, everything changes. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of that dream. Sigh. I HATE having to make big decisions. lol
post #6 of 20
I want more just not now.

I always said no more than 3, now I have 3 and don't feel done! I can't predict the future, so I don't know where life will take us. We shall see.
post #7 of 20
Thread Starter 
Har, har, har, Dierdre!

And keeping my fingers crossed for you, RoP. When can you test?
post #8 of 20
I am ready for another .... If I were pregnant now I would be totally fine with that and Brighton is just 8 weeks now. I'd rather have them close together since I waited so long to start (I'm 37 too). We want 2 or 3 and actually 1 is ok with me too if it never happens, but still.....I'd be happy being pregnant again asap.
post #9 of 20
not me. i am done, but i was done after #4. i told dh he needs to make an appt., but i will prolly have to make for him. i'm thankful for all my dc, now i just want to enjoy them growing up.
post #10 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deir View Post
i read your other post- it's because your dd is sleeping 6-8 hrs at night!!
LOL!

No more for me please and thank you. I may change my mind later, but i don't think so. DD is my first and I think I'm done.
post #11 of 20
How do you get that done feeling? Is it ever possible?

for the mamas that know what their plan is, I'm still

staceychev: I test friday it'll be 11 days post oops( DH!), I wanted to test on 14 day after but I have a tooth extraction set for the 14th so I'll test that morning. If it's :- I'll assume that to be the final verdit and test again on the 17th. I think we're safe. We were so careless before kids, and between Tatum and Kaleb there's no way. The only times we've concieved is when we wanted to.
post #12 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by bubbagirl View Post
I am ready for another .... If I were pregnant now I would be totally fine with that and Brighton is just 8 weeks now. I'd rather have them close together since I waited so long to start (I'm 37 too). We want 2 or 3 and actually 1 is ok with me too if it never happens, but still.....I'd be happy being pregnant again asap.
I feel similarly. I remember looking at DD the first night and marveling over her and then starting to dream about how lovely it would be to give her a sibling. It really surprised me that I started thinking about another baby so soon, and that I keep thinking about it so often. But my mom struggled with secondary infertility, and I'm not getting any younger. I don't actually want to conceive just yet, as I want to give my body more time to recover (I'm the one that wrote a post whining about my extra 10 pounds!), and I want DD to get more time nursing, since pregnancy might make my milk dry up, but I hope to be back in a DDC a year from now.
post #13 of 20
Lizsky, I'm an only child but my parents tried for years after I was born so I'm not sure how it will go for me either.

I don't want my supply to go down and actually can't imagine that since I have so much now.
post #14 of 20
Thread Starter 
Lizky and Bubbagirl: there's always hope. My mom tried after me, too, and after adopting my sister, but no luck. I've always been afraid that it would be difficult for us. Not so: 1st try for DD1 and DD2 both (and at the ages of 32 and 37). Your mom's fate isn't yours!
post #15 of 20
The whole time I was pregnant, I was dreaming of another beyond this one. The birth went great!

Then PP wrecked me. I had all sorts of problems. My 3yo has been great, no jealosy issues, wanting to "help" (which is less helpful than it sounds). But, she has potty regressed some, and all the normal 3yo stuff (like not listening/getting distracted) is grating on my nerves, and I can't give her the attention she needs when I am trying desperately to heal and my husband is out of town again.

When I would beg my mom for a kitten when I was younger, and she would always say "the problem with kittens is that they turn into cats."

I had the awful thought the other day that the problem with newborns is that they turn into toddlers.
I think I might have PPD. My husband doesn't want another, so he may be happy that I am not feeling it anymore, but for me, it represents a huge amount of sorrow and frustration.

Long story short, I want to want another. I did before. I am calling a counselor.
post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by MiaMama View Post

When I would beg my mom for a kitten when I was younger, and she would always say "the problem with kittens is that they turn into cats."

I had the awful thought the other day that the problem with newborns is that they turn into toddlers.
yep... this is what made us not overly sure even having Avery was a good idea. And i feel the same way, again - like, if I had a nanny, I'd just keep on popping out babies (um, except my body is wrecked with the diastasis, so i'd want that in a good place first...) and not think about it. But I've been having a rough time with my 4 yr old and my almost-3-yr-old... you know, regressions, "no", being sassy... I keep thinking "I'm a much better mama to a baby than I am to kids..." *sigh* And they all turn into kids eventually...
post #17 of 20
MiaMama
post #18 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Right of Passage View Post
How do you get that done feeling? Is it ever possible
Yes, it is. I didn't think I ever reach that point, but I have. 5 children is a big responsibility, and I feel a huge burden to help guide and rear them to become "normal", functioning people (and more). I felt very peaceful about having 4, which I think is why it was so hard for me to adjust to 5. Our family feels complete, and I don't think that is going to change in a year or two (it always did, right up until #4 turned 2).

I think some people will always want another child, even if they can't have one, and some will just always be content with those they have. JMO.
post #19 of 20
I'm afraid I will always want another, not because of discontent with the children I have but because of how much I love the children I have. I can't imagine my life without them. With each son I look at them and think "how did I exsist before you?" it's hard to imagine. I think that feeling makes me wonder who else is out there to be apart of my family. I'm young, maybe I'll have more biological children, maybe we'll adopt or foster. Who knows!
post #20 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Right of Passage View Post
I think we're safe. We were so careless before kids, and between Tatum and Kaleb there's no way. The only times we've concieved is when we wanted to.
Oh dear. I've said that before. Tried 14 cycles for DS1, 6 for DS2, 2.5 years for DS3, then got a BFP at 9 months pp.

I kinda want another too, but it's not in the cards. Five is just...well, FIVE. And I'm going back to school and we're planning some major life changes, and yada yada. I need to call about getting the Mirena placed, but that feels almost as final to me as having my tubes tied because I just don't think I'll ever actively TRY for #5, so I'm a little afraid to do it. Still, I can't get pg right now, so I have to do it. MUST DO IT.
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