Left my two year old, this is what happened.. - Page 2

[liberal_chick]

It wouldn't have bothered me at all. But then again, I'd probably have left them money to go out for ice cream and directions to the nearest park!

[rightkindofme]

I don't leave my daughter with anyone I have discomfort with. Period. Either I trust you to make good decisions or I don't. I feel that as a future homeschooled kid my daughter is going to spend WAY too much of her life in a bubble where I fully control things so I am ok with her finding out through babysitting and other such social interactions that other adults behave differently and she needs to adapt--that's life.

When someone is babysitting our daughter I take them through list of mandatory safety stuff (even if you 'know' how to use a carseat I'm going to run you through basic safety stuff because I know that 75% of people don't use them correctly) and then I say, "I trust that you will take care of my daughter" and I let it go. But I'm rather Free Range in general.

[honey-lilac]

If I trusted someone to drive my car, I would trust them to drive my DC in said car. If someone was not a great driver (newly licensed, too old or too young, history of accidents, etc.) then I wouldn't want them driving with my DC in the car or not. Scrolling through my acquaintances mentally right now, I can pretty much tell who I would be comfortable with and not comfortable with driving.

As for the ice cream incident itself, assuming the *driving* itself wasn't the issue, I wouldn't have minded. Going out for ice cream is sometimes a bit more fun than eating ice cream from the fridge. If there were concerns about allergies or obsesity or some other factor like that, then I'm sure you would have mentioned that to the babysitter, and/or wouldn't have been OK with them having ice cream in the first place. I think.

I mean, I guess there's variables like with everything else, but from the details you mentioned I wouldn't be particularly bothered unless SIL was a bad driver.

[limabean]

We always leave a car with carseats installed for people who babysit our kids (so far just grandparents and aunties) to use. Usually they don't use it, they just go for walks to the park and such, but occasionally they'll take them somewhere and it doesn't bother me at all.

That said, in your situation I can see how it seems a little suspicious, like she knew she'd be driving your DD but chose to say she only would in case of emergency -- that'd probably get my hackles up a bit too. And the earlier incident where she didn't feed your kid would upset me a lot -- I'd be having a really direct talk with her and wouldn't have her babysit unless it was clear that she understood why that was wrong. Was it that your DD just didn't choose to eat, or did your SIL actually not offer her any food?

[MeepyCat]

Originally Posted by mamazee

This is how I read it too, and I would be bothered by the dishonesty more than the trip.

Yup.

I would be completely unbothered if a relative watching my kid asked if s/he could have the keys to the car with the carseat and said they'd like to take the kid someplace - the park, the ice cream place, whatever. It's a fun outing, and it is much easier to handle a toddler if you're out and active than if you're sitting around the house. But I would definitely be bugged if I felt like I was lied to about it.

[gaudynight]

I'd be weirded out by the way she went about it, it does seem like a sneaky way to get your keys. I'd rather she asked me straight out beforehand but I don't know that it's something I'd make a fuss over.

[kgrace]

I'm so glad I asked, you all helped me sort this out.
We are particular about car safety, so I'm glad they took her in my car but... I would still rather be the only one driving her around.

The issue comes to feeling undermined by sil.

And looking back to the not feeding her the last time. I gave a time to heat up almond milk, it was my only specific request and when we got back 45 minutes after the time I said to give it, she still had not offered yet.And I came home to a crying child, kind of sad.
So... she can watch her in an emergency but on a regular basis for dates I'm too uncomfortable.Gotta go with my gut on this. And yep, justKate- she's my baby, that what it comes down to.

[leighi123]

If my sister did that while watching ds I wouldnt have a problem with it b/c:

1. she knows how to use his carseat correctly and knows I'd KILL her if she buckled him in wrong

2. she knows about his food allergies and what he can and cannot eat.

3. ds hardly ever gets sweets, so he would be very happy about it! The only 'ice cream' he gets for the most part is organic orange juice frozen in an ice cream maker

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by kgrace

And looking back to the not feeding her the last time. I gave a time to heat up almond milk, it was my only specific request and when we got back 45 minutes after the time I said to give it, she still had not offered yet.And I came home to a crying child, kind of sad.

Uhhh yeah -- she would NOT be watching my kid again.

[HappyMommy2]

I wouldn't like that. The understanding was that she would stay home and babysit. The fact that she didn't know what was inappropriate makes me wonder what else she would think is ok. Hopefully you can find somebody else to give you a date night!