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how many times before you'd call the police? little league - Page 6

post #101 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post
It should be the kind of rule that makes people stop and take a good, hard look at the crazy, over-scheduled lifestyle they're leading that prevents them from supporting their children with their presence at sporting and other events. Being at every practice is overboard though IMO (assuming the practices are separate from the games, not right before the game as is the case in the OP's scenario). But really, parents should be at the games supporting their children.
I have to agree that it is the kind of rule that MAKES us so crazy and over-scheduled.

Kid's sports aren't even what they were when I was a kid. When I was in soccer up through 5th grade, we had once-weekly Wednesday practice (at the school, after school, so nobody had to take me anywhere to get to practice) and Saturday games; nowadays, all the leagues kids can participate in around us have at least twice-weekly games and twice-weekly practice. I looked at the Y's schedule and rules for 4-year-old soccer and for 4-year-old t-ball for this year and mainly panicked. I have no idea how people with more than one kid manage even getting both kids to all the practices/games they are required to be at. (My kid, btw, is neither in soccer or t-ball this summer, as a result of me mainly concluding that either was impossible.)
post #102 of 163
Yep. One of the reasons we don't do sports. I just could not attened all such functions with all my children. I could not even guarantee to just attend all the games. Too much to commit to. Nothing like sports when I grew up.
post #103 of 163
A little OT from something brought up in the thread-

Dude-my kids can't be home alone here in IL until age 14???? I babysat from age 12 on in this state and leave my older (8, 9) kids home to walk around the block with the little ones once in awhile. So that's illegal? Does that make it illegal for them to ride their bikes alone around our neighborhood or go to the park across the street alone? Now I'm confused! That age is pretty ridiculous!!!

As for the parents, when I was a girl scouts leader, this kind of thing happened ALL the time. I would have girls in tears an hour after meeting whose parents decided to shop or finish their show or whatever before showing up. And it was a publically reserved location that we weren't even supposed to be at that late. Some parents just don't care. Poor kids. I don't think I'd call the cops unless there were other signs of abuse, but I'd tell whoever is running the league what's going on for sure.
post #104 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by JL83 View Post
I think your brother is being unreasonable.

It's not his job to stay with the kid. I've been a coach for youth soccer for many many years. It's his job to take care of the kid for a specific time period (in my case, I always said that I would stay for 10 minutes after the end of the game/practice). Then he releases the kid, unless the family makes other arrangements.

I had MANY kids that age walk or bike to games or practices on their own. At the end of the game I waved good-bye to them as they set off. I have no idea if they went home, to the playground or somewhere else. That was between them and their parent.

Your brother has no business trying to get the dad out of his vehicle by interfering with the instructions given to the kid. Your brother has no business implying that the dad is a bad parent for letting the kid do something your brother thinks is dangerous.

Your brother should contact the family and say what his limits are. He should decide how long after a game he's willing to stay and then tell the parents that. Then he needs to leave once it gets to that time.

We're not talking about 4 or 5 year olds here. School aged kids are allowed to walk home from school on their own, they can take the city bus on their own.

*********Please note that I personally would not do what that dad did. Once my children are in sports I will be there as much as I can. But I recognize that other people have different ideas and priorities.
How do you know this? I am fairly certain the rules are not the same across the country for every organization. And it's not like the child had an arrangement where they were supposed to be walking home/biking. Our LL is sponsered by the town. Coaches must stay until all children have left (they can walk or bike, but it needs to be known that everyone has a way home). I don't care if the parent can't stay to watch all the games or practice, and I don't think that's at issue at all (unless the league policy states their must be a parent/adult present). Was the brother wrong to make the child stay with him while the father beeped? Yes. Because he should have brought the boy to the car immediately to broach the subject, not waited till the father was so angry he became unreasonable.

But we can't assume that every sport league has similar policies. They simply don't.
post #105 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittywitty View Post
A little OT from something brought up in the thread-

Dude-my kids can't be home alone here in IL until age 14???? I babysat from age 12 on in this state and leave my older (8, 9) kids home to walk around the block with the little ones once in awhile. So that's illegal? Does that make it illegal for them to ride their bikes alone around our neighborhood or go to the park across the street alone? Now I'm confused! That age is pretty ridiculous!!!
That's a strict interpretation of the IL law, ignoring the multiple paragraphs of exceptions and references to the criminal neglect code that follow the stated age in the law itself.

I'm in IL and our local police department passes out latchkey and babysitting info flyers that state under the law as the local department interprets it, it's legal for a kid to be latchkey starting at age 8 as long as they pass particular maturity tests (which I believe are based on the criminal neglect statures) and start babysitting at age 12 if they've taken the red cross babysitting classes and pass some other set of maturity guidelines.

Here's a fuller text of the IL law:

“any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor’s welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor.”

And you can see the 15 factors used by DCFS in determining what is a "an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare" in the document here: http://www.state.il.us/dcfs/docs/alone.doc
post #106 of 163
For starters, my husband and I are in our second year of coaching Little League. Where we live its pretty standard and assumed that parents will be there for practices and games. The only time I've seen a parent not there was for a boy who lived a block away and rode his bike to the game and parents came as often as they could and older siblings were playing in the next field and were in charge of getting him to or from events. But there was always someone in charge of him. I've never had a parent just up and leave or not show up. We are not allowed to leave the field until all children have been collected (assuming some parents drop off, which ours haven't). I know of one parent who told me there may be some scheduling conflicts because her 2 girls are also playing on another team in the girls league. We'll watch her son when she has to be at the girls' game (twin girls). But the parent discussed it with us and her husband and her will rotate who watches which game as much as they can. They are always there for practices. Its also a parent that I know would help us out with our child if it came down to it as well. If a parent was consistently late, like near an hour late, I don't know what I'd do. Its negligent, IMO. We coaches do get the parent contact info at the beginning of the year and I'd be calling the parent after 10 minutes to ask where they were. If it came down to it I don't think calling the police or other authority is over reacting when its an HOUR. Thats a long time! Most childcare centers would call 15 minutes after closing.

I also work for the Y and I attend many youth sports stuff and parents are always there. I've never seen a parent just drop their child off.

And as far as busy schedules... you deal. I have 3 kids, my husband and I went to school full time all year and had jobs. All 3 kids still had Dr appointments, sporting events and other activities. We coordinate and always stay for the events, unless its school sponsored. For us, its not just about the kids participating in sports or activities its us showing our support.

This summer we are coaching little league and my son plays. This meant that our youngest daughter couldn't play girls little league because we couldn't be there for her and we don't think its responsible to just drop her off, she's 7. On the other hand our oldest will play tennis this summer and can walk to lessons herself 2 blocks away, she is 11. She will also have private violin lessons she can walk to herself. Being 11 is a bit different than 7 or 9 (ages of our others) But you had better believe I will be at every game or event to show my support for her. I also stay for all boyscout meetings and events unless something comes up that I have to attend and then I coordinate with another parent who stays. I know the other parent will sit with my child as well and help him and that goes if another parent can't make it, I would help that child. Our girls both participate in basketball as well, but that is a school sponsored event and is immediately after school so we pick up as soon as its done, we attend every game. Oldest is also in Orchestra, always attend her events. Youngest hasn't decided what her summer sport will be yet but most likely tennis as well or volleyball. We'll be there.

My point is, you can coordinate sports with multiple kids. Sometimes not everyone gets their first choice of sports that season but we accommodate as much as we can. I will not allow my kids to participate in something that I know we can't be there for the events/games. This is a huge part of parenting. Or we call in grandparent backup if possible. I didn't have kids to miss out on these events. I had children so I could PARENT them.
post #107 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by stik View Post
I agree with the earlier poster who said it's perfectly legal for the parents to leave the child at the park for 45 minutes, but not for the coach to do so.

I wouldn't call the police, but I would let the parents know that if they or another responsible adult could not be present during games and practices, their child will not be able to participate. Crafting a policy regarding this behavior that penalizes exactly and only the right person is beyond the scope of a Little League coach. The coach's priority should be to limit liability and ensure kids are safe. So even if it does penalize the child, these parents should not be allowed to simply drop their kid off and leave for hours.
Wow. I am really surprised by this sentiment. I think it is crazy to sit at each and every practice for your child. What if you haev more than one child? Many people where I live drop off and pick up their kids. I agree they should not be late to pick them up, but I think it is unusual to expect the parents to stay the whole time for every practice and game.
post #108 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
When I was 8 yo, I walked to the park all by myself.

There is an episode of Arthur where Brain's and Binky's mom are late to pick them up after a soccer game. Brain and Binky just hang out with each other while waiting. No coach stays, no one considers calling the police.

I think calling the child abandoned and calling the police is a huge over reaction.

How far from the field does the kid live? Could he just walk home. Couldn't your brother just call the parents up and talk to them. Say the current situation isn't working and talk about alternatives, such as having him travel to and from games with a teammate.

I agree.
post #109 of 163
[QUOTE=Cascadian;15391976]Why is it the unpaid volunteer's responsibility to do this?

Parents, parent your kids.[/QUOTE]

And others - allow parents to parent their kids as they see fit
post #110 of 163
I think at the very least, parents should ask the coach what they prefer and work out a compromise if they dissagree. Some coaches simply are not equipped to soley handled 14+ kids by themselves. Parent co-ops where parents work together to meet the needs of the kids can go a long way. We give all our parents the names and numbers of the others so they can work together if scheduling conflicts occur. Many coaches are talked into helping with the guilt that the team will be closed if they didn't step up and help. If I'm putting in all my extra time to work with your child, I'm expecting that you at least put in some effort. If parents don't help out, the coach may decide its not worth it and decide to stop, then all kids are affected. If its like here, you don't have coaches lining up begging to help. Its the organizers bascially twisting arms to get parents to help coach. Show some respect and help, coaching is HARD.
post #111 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by blizzard_babe View Post
I think that I agree with you on the parents not coming to the games aspect. The kids are supervised, the parents have presumably signed safety waivers and whatnot... whether parents choose to be there or not is up to them.

The part that I think is disrespectful of the parent is arriving late for pick-up. The coach (and most coaches are unpaid parent volunteers at the youth levels) had to sit around and wait with the kid because the parents couldn't get their cans back to the field in time to pick the kid up. That's not a "how I raise my kid" issue, it's a "hey, I probably shouldn't make this person who volunteers to help give my kid a good time playing a sport sit around because I can't be bothered to be on time" issue.

The parents never asked the coach to stay. Maybe there is a prk near the field. There is in out community. And kids hang out there and play sometimes after ball games unsupervised. no big deal.
post #112 of 163
Find out the league policy on this. Have their office contact the parent. I could never imagine not being at my kids practice or games. And yes I have a 2 year old that I tote to my 6 year olds practices and games. It's just the way it is. One day her older brother will go along to her stuff too. And I'll have to make choices on who can sign up for what based on times and conflicts with the sibling. But oh well.
post #113 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by newmommy7-08 View Post
The OP responded and said that her brothers issue with it was the CONTINUED lateness. The most recent was another hour after the OP had left the ballpark. This is something that makes me crazy with DH and his coaching, and he coaches high school girls! There is very little respect for his time, and that they are cutting into our time by not picking up their kids ontime. Even tho DH is paid for his coaching... trust me it doesn't even BEGIN to cover the time he invests!

It is a policy that the coach cannot leave until everyone is picked up. OP's brother is not CHOOSING to stay and wait, he's required to. One time late is an accident, two times is an oops... but at least three, that just a complete inability to manage your time and they're punishing the coach and their child. Can you imagine how the child feels 5-10 minutes after all the other kids are gone? STILL waiting for mom and dad? STILL waiting 30 or 40 minutes after that? How is that even close to being responsible?

At least w/ DH's high schoolers they have cell phones to call their parents and say hey! what's taking so long!

To the OP I think your brother needs to ask the head guy what exactly is the policy, and if they don't have one he needs to offer to draft one to get approved ASAP as this is not fair to anyone involved... except perhaps the parents because they're able to come and go as they please and know their child is being watched!
So high school girls can't be lift without an adult? That seriuosly blows my mind. I mean, I haev high school girls babysit for me, and they have taken my kdis to the parkk, as a matter of fact. This is so bizarre to me. I am not trying to be snotty or sarcastic. I just can't wrap my mind around a situation where a 14 year old girl has to be under adult supervision at all times. What if she is walking home?
post #114 of 163
[QUOTE=vbactivist;15404033]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
Why is it the unpaid volunteer's responsibility to do this?

Parents, parent your kids.[/QUOTE]

And others - allow parents to parent their kids as they see fit
But when its in direct violation of league rules there's an issue. Should a coach sit around for hours just because you feel your child should be left alone? We are not allowed to leave, so then what?

What if a child has a major meltdown or there is an emergency and the parent has left? If my child breaks an arm during practice, I'm taking hi to the hospital, the parents would need to collect their kids. If a parent isn't there to collect their child I'm left with a kid suffering with a broken arm waiting for the parent to arrive.

Again, the parent should talk to the coach and have some respect for their time as well. If the coach and parent can't see eye to eye there are other teams or sports to participate in. I know there are some sports or teams my kids wont be on because the coach of those has completely different ideas on coaching and parenting than I do.
post #115 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
The parents never asked the coach to stay. Maybe there is a prk near the field. There is in out community. And kids hang out there and play sometimes after ball games unsupervised. no big deal.
The coaches are REQUIRED to stay. Most leagues specifically state that you are not allowed to leave until the children have been picked up. Even if a parent says to leave a child alone, we're not allowed to. Its a liability thing.
post #116 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabearsoblessed View Post
this... and that no one was assigned responsibility is the biggie for me.
I have brought my friend's dc to games when she was home with sick siblings, but I was the adult responsible for them for the length of time they were in my care at the game. There was noone assigned care for this child. Correct?
And I would say my 8 year old doesn't need anyone to be assinged care for my child. HE's 8. HE can play at the park by himself. He is with his team for practice, and then he may be on his own for a hort whiile. No big deal. I think the op's brother is over reacting. If he doesn't want to stay, he shouldn't.
post #117 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
That is the kind of rule that discourages families from participating and encourages unhealthy, sedentary alternatives.

agreed. my sister is a single mom. She can work and be able to afford to have her kdis participate, or miss work and sit at a non-existent sport because she can't afford it. She uses her breaks to get my niece there and back
post #118 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine233 View Post
I will not allow my kids to participate in something that I know we can't be there for the events/games. This is a huge part of parenting. Or we call in grandparent backup if possible. I didn't have kids to miss out on these events. I had children so I could PARENT them.
I disagree. Sometimes "parenting" involves letting your kids do some things on their own, find their own way, and get satisfaction from things not because a parent is cheering them on, but because they did it themselves.

Of course, this has gone way off topic - I agree that the coach needs to speak to these parents because they aren't on time to pick him up and the coach is left waiting (if in fact he is required by law to stay). That is another issue entirely.
post #119 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post
It should be the kind of rule that makes people stop and take a good, hard look at the crazy, over-scheduled lifestyle they're leading that prevents them from supporting their children with their presence at sporting and other events. Being at every practice is overboard though IMO (assuming the practices are separate from the games, not right before the game as is the case in the OP's scenario). But really, parents should be at the games supporting their children.
If you haev more than one kids in just ONE sport each, there are definitely going to be conflicts. Also what about working parents? I think it gives kdis a weird sense of entitlement for the parents to be at EVERY game. How about playing because you enjoy it, and knwoing your parents support you by the fact they've signed you up?
post #120 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by savithny View Post
I'm finding it more than a little funny that people are defending the right to leave the child unsupervised at the park for 45 minutes, when they'd probably flip if he was left in a locked, parked car that long.

It's even in the law of the OP's state.

Connecticut's Child Proection agency's website states:


But then the CT DMV says:
I think that's because a kid isn't going to die from heat stroke int he fresh air.
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