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how many times before you'd call the police? little league - Page 7

post #121 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by bri276 View Post
During three years of mandatory soccer and basketball at private school, neither of my parents ever came to ONE game. I'd say maybe 1/4 of the parents did. It never even occurred to me to be disappointed.

and you seem plenty well-adjusted.
post #122 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
So high school girls can't be lift without an adult? That seriuosly blows my mind. I mean, I haev high school girls babysit for me, and they have taken my kdis to the parkk, as a matter of fact. This is so bizarre to me. I am not trying to be snotty or sarcastic. I just can't wrap my mind around a situation where a 14 year old girl has to be under adult supervision at all times. What if she is walking home?
Nope, they can't! In DH's case some bad seeds goofing off after practice ruined it for everyone. Not even on his team, but it is school policy that he has to stay on site until they've either connected w/ a parent or left the campus. Obviously those over 16 are allowed to drive themselves, but if they're w/o transportation onsite, he has to stay till their parents or ride shows up. The issue w/ his high schoolers is most likely the same as that of the little league in this case. The HS is liable for all students while on their property, much the same as the little league organization can probably be held liable if something happens through negligence, thus the requirement to be present until all students are picked up. As the coach he is an extension of the organization, present to be sure nothing happens.
post #123 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine233 View Post
The coaches are REQUIRED to stay. Most leagues specifically state that you are not allowed to leave until the children have been picked up. Even if a parent says to leave a child alone, we're not allowed to. Its a liability thing.
that's certainly not the case where I live, and I don't think it's clear if that's the case where the op's brother lives.

Here 8 years olds often get themselves to and from games and pratices. would your league force someone to pick him up even if he was planning to walk a block home or whatever? Would you prevent an 8 year old from leaving the field at the end of the game to go home?
post #124 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine233 View Post
For starters, my husband and I are in our second year of coaching Little League. Where we live its pretty standard and assumed that parents will be there for practices and games. The only time I've seen a parent not there was for a boy who lived a block away and rode his bike to the game and parents came as often as they could and older siblings were playing in the next field and were in charge of getting him to or from events. But there was always someone in charge of him. I've never had a parent just up and leave or not show up. We are not allowed to leave the field until all children have been collected (assuming some parents drop off, which ours haven't). I know of one parent who told me there may be some scheduling conflicts because her 2 girls are also playing on another team in the girls league. We'll watch her son when she has to be at the girls' game (twin girls). But the parent discussed it with us and her husband and her will rotate who watches which game as much as they can. They are always there for practices. Its also a parent that I know would help us out with our child if it came down to it as well. If a parent was consistently late, like near an hour late, I don't know what I'd do. Its negligent, IMO. We coaches do get the parent contact info at the beginning of the year and I'd be calling the parent after 10 minutes to ask where they were. If it came down to it I don't think calling the police or other authority is over reacting when its an HOUR. Thats a long time! Most childcare centers would call 15 minutes after closing.

I also work for the Y and I attend many youth sports stuff and parents are always there. I've never seen a parent just drop their child off.

And as far as busy schedules... you deal. I have 3 kids, my husband and I went to school full time all year and had jobs. All 3 kids still had Dr appointments, sporting events and other activities. We coordinate and always stay for the events, unless its school sponsored. For us, its not just about the kids participating in sports or activities its us showing our support.

This summer we are coaching little league and my son plays. This meant that our youngest daughter couldn't play girls little league because we couldn't be there for her and we don't think its responsible to just drop her off, she's 7. On the other hand our oldest will play tennis this summer and can walk to lessons herself 2 blocks away, she is 11. She will also have private violin lessons she can walk to herself. Being 11 is a bit different than 7 or 9 (ages of our others) But you had better believe I will be at every game or event to show my support for her. I also stay for all boyscout meetings and events unless something comes up that I have to attend and then I coordinate with another parent who stays. I know the other parent will sit with my child as well and help him and that goes if another parent can't make it, I would help that child. Our girls both participate in basketball as well, but that is a school sponsored event and is immediately after school so we pick up as soon as its done, we attend every game. Oldest is also in Orchestra, always attend her events. Youngest hasn't decided what her summer sport will be yet but most likely tennis as well or volleyball. We'll be there.

My point is, you can coordinate sports with multiple kids. Sometimes not everyone gets their first choice of sports that season but we accommodate as much as we can. I will not allow my kids to participate in something that I know we can't be there for the events/games. This is a huge part of parenting. Or we call in grandparent backup if possible. I didn't have kids to miss out on these events. I had children so I could PARENT them.
um I homeschool my kids and have been sahming with them from birth. I'm pretty sure I AM parenting them, even thought I don't go to every single game. I actually am with my kids mostly 24/7 - so when an ooportunity comes for the to do somethign productive/fun/healthy without me there (like baseball) I take advantage of that. Like I said, I think it gives kids a weird sense of entitlement to have "fans" at every. single. game.

I'm curious, Kristine - do you homeshcool? Do you think people that send their kids to school and don't observe every single achievement during the school day are not parenting their kids?
post #125 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by newmommy7-08 View Post
Nope, they can't! In DH's case some bad seeds goofing off after practice ruined it for everyone. Not even on his team, but it is school policy that he has to stay on site until they've either connected w/ a parent or left the campus. Obviously those over 16 are allowed to drive themselves, but if they're w/o transportation onsite, he has to stay till their parents or ride shows up. The issue w/ his high schoolers is most likely the same as that of the little league in this case. The HS is liable for all students while on their property, much the same as the little league organization can probably be held liable if something happens through negligence, thus the requirement to be present until all students are picked up. As the coach he is an extension of the organization, present to be sure nothing happens.

I would have a serious problem with a school or any organization not allowing my 14 year old to walk herself home. I am surprised more people don't have a problem with that in your husband's case. I can understand the coach expecting the kdis to be off school property before he can leave, but HOW they get off school property is nobody's business, IMO.
post #126 of 163
I think its clear that if the student is supposed to be walking to/from pratice/games thats one thing. If their supposed to be picked up (cause' you know, they live on the other side of town, or out of town, or whatever) and they are *NOT* then they *CAN NOT* just be left to fend for themselves for the next 5 or 10 or 30 or 90 minutes till someone shows up. Kids can walk to and from school, yes. They can't just hang out at school for an hour cause' dad didn't feel like getting his ass off the couch before law & order was over to go pick them up, when he's supposed to do so.
post #127 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
I would have a serious problem with a school or any organization not allowing my 14 year old to walk herself home. I am surprised more people don't have a problem with that in your husband's case. I can understand the coach expecting the kdis to be off school property before he can leave, but HOW they get off school property is nobody's business, IMO.
My high school was this way if your parents were picking you up from a school event. It had to be your parents, and they had to get you. Students who walked were a different story, but...in my children's soon-to-be school district, you are not allowed to walk and/or allow your child to walk to school. We live 200 yards away, and we're walking next year. We'll deal with the consequences however they come down, but I'm not going to drive the 200 yards. It blows me away that people aren't permitted to walk!
post #128 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine233 View Post

This summer we are coaching little league and my son plays. This meant that our youngest daughter couldn't play girls little league because we couldn't be there for her and we don't think its responsible to just drop her off, she's 7.
So, your middle DD doesn't get to play a sport because both you and your husband want to coach your son?

That seems really unfair.

Maybe she'd rather be dropped off and get to play than not be allowed to play because you can't be there. Or maybe, only one of you should coach and the other one should go to her games.
post #129 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamadelbosque View Post
I think its clear that if the student is supposed to be walking to/from pratice/games thats one thing. If their supposed to be picked up (cause' you know, they live on the other side of town, or out of town, or whatever) and they are *NOT* then they *CAN NOT* just be left to fend for themselves for the next 5 or 10 or 30 or 90 minutes till someone shows up. Kids can walk to and from school, yes. They can't just hang out at school for an hour cause' dad didn't feel like getting his ass off the couch before law & order was over to go pick them up, when he's supposed to do so.
Maybe I'm a bad mom because I'd tell my child to pretend to walk home and then go back to the field and wait for me to pick them up.

I actually did that as a child a few times. I was the youngest of 3 and my mom's disabled so my dad did all the driving (and he ran his own business and worked from home on weekends and evenings). So he was often late picking me up from things. There were a few times when I noticed someone waiting with me, so I'd say I was taking the bus or walking to a friends and then leave. I'd go around the block and end up back where I started to find them gone and then wait for my ride.
post #130 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
I think that's because a kid isn't going to die from heat stroke int he fresh air.
To the best of my knowledge, most laws don't mention the time of year. My kids would have been perfectly safe in a locked car for most of the last three months. I don't think that's it.
post #131 of 163
I don't think it's fair that children are denied the chance to play a sport just because the parents can't watch.

What about single parents?

Shift-working parents?

Parents working 2 or 3 jobs to manage?

Parents of blended/step-parenting families?

Parents without a lot of family or friends to help out as "backup"?

It seems pretty harsh (and more than a little smug, comfortable and privileged) to say that children can only play if they have an adoring parental cheering section in tow.

I think it's important to make an effort to attend my children's events. I enjoy watching them play and perform. I wouldn't deny them an opportunity to play just because I can't be there. I also don't judge parents who can't watch their children perform.
post #132 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
that's certainly not the case where I live, and I don't think it's clear if that's the case where the op's brother lives.

Here 8 years olds often get themselves to and from games and pratices. would your league force someone to pick him up even if he was planning to walk a block home or whatever? Would you prevent an 8 year old from leaving the field at the end of the game to go home?
One of the OP's followup posts said that it was the requirment that he stays until all players are gone
post #133 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
I would have a serious problem with a school or any organization not allowing my 14 year old to walk herself home. I am surprised more people don't have a problem with that in your husband's case. I can understand the coach expecting the kdis to be off school property before he can leave, but HOW they get off school property is nobody's business, IMO.
I wouldn't... but then again, my HS 15 years ago had the same requirement. In our case that was because to get off campus you had to cross a major road, which was a huge liability for the school. Did I walk home a few times anyway... yeah, but I got in trouble each time when my parents found out. The school entrance was at the top of a hill on a bend, and people drove like maniacs on that road. It's the same where DH coaches, and every other school I've seen a rule like that exist in. In DH's case it's a major 4 lane highway I wouldn't want to try to cross this road on foot... let alone have my I am invincible HS age student do it.

The same rule about coaches being there until all players were picked up existed when we played ball 20+ years ago... for the same reasons, the roads outside our little grass and tree surrounded bits of heaven called ball fields were main roads, and I didn't live in the city. My gf's league also has the same rule and their fields are in the middle of a resedential area, however, her kids would have to walk along a very dangerous, narrow, windy, no curb road to get home. It's a safety issue. Now I can see you not having a problem w/ it if it was say a neighborhood ball field in a subdivision, but if the majority of the kids come from miles away it's the responsibility of the league or school to put rules into place that protect the majority to the best of their ability... exceptions to these rules make things very murky for coaches. How exactly are they supposed to keep track of who is allowed to do what? Trust me, they have enough to keep track of. If you give your kids instructions to sneak off and pretend they're walking home that's on you... but I think the coach should get something in writing that states your child has your permission to walk home so that both the coach and the leagues collective butts are covered.
post #134 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by newmommy7-08 View Post
One of the OP's followup posts said that it was the requirment that he stays until all players are gone
I thought the latest update was that her brother was waiting to hear back from a league official about what the policy actually is...
post #135 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by newmommy7-08 View Post
I wouldn't... but then again, my HS 15 years ago had the same requirement. In our case that was because to get off campus you had to cross a major road, which was a huge liability for the school. Did I walk home a few times anyway... yeah, but I got in trouble each time when my parents found out. The school entrance was at the top of a hill on a bend, and people drove like maniacs on that road. It's the same where DH coaches, and every other school I've seen a rule like that exist in. In DH's case it's a major 4 lane highway I wouldn't want to try to cross this road on foot... let alone have my I am invincible HS age student do it.

The same rule about coaches being there until all players were picked up existed when we played ball 20+ years ago... for the same reasons, the roads outside our little grass and tree surrounded bits of heaven called ball fields were main roads, and I didn't live in the city. My gf's league also has the same rule and their fields are in the middle of a resedential area, however, her kids would have to walk along a very dangerous, narrow, windy, no curb road to get home. It's a safety issue. Now I can see you not having a problem w/ it if it was say a neighborhood ball field in a subdivision, but if the majority of the kids come from miles away it's the responsibility of the league or school to put rules into place that protect the majority to the best of their ability... exceptions to these rules make things very murky for coaches. How exactly are they supposed to keep track of who is allowed to do what? Trust me, they have enough to keep track of. If you give your kids instructions to sneak off and pretend they're walking home that's on you... but I think the coach should get something in writing that states your child has your permission to walk home so that both the coach and the leagues collective butts are covered.
What if someone didn't have a car? Would there parent have to walk up to get them? What if they were seniors, already 18 years of age?

I appreciate hearing about your experience. I just know it's not the case for many other places.
post #136 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by JL83 View Post
So, your middle DD doesn't get to play a sport because both you and your husband want to coach your son?

That seems really unfair.

Maybe she'd rather be dropped off and get to play than not be allowed to play because you can't be there. Or maybe, only one of you should coach and the other one should go to her games.
I agree. Kristine - it sounds like your kids are still pretty young. At some point, when they get involved in a sport and possibly excel and definitely love it, they are not going to be okay with skipping years because mom or dad can't be at every game. My kids would MUCH rather be dropped off without me there than not play at all. It also seems like you are setting your kids up to resent one another by saying you both have to be at brother's game so sister doesn't get to participate at all. We neglect our kids equally
post #137 of 163
For the original question, I think it's a league issue at this point.

Whoever runs the league should call the parents to discuss the problem and if the kid's not picked up on time in the future and has to be picked up, I think the head of the league or whoever should come talk to the parents and ask that the child be removed from the team.

I don't think the police need to be involved at all really, but the league definitely does need to do something.

For the discussion about parents and sports I do think it's crazy to expect parents to stay for every practice and game. Picking up their kids on time, totally. But staying all the time? Ugh, that is exactly what makes people give up on sport and/or have crazy lives, not to mention pitting siblings against each other for limited resources.

Also, I personally think that as kids get over 8 years of age or so it benefits them to interact with people away from their parents, in a safe environment. I also think parents should stay connected and stay at the start of a season, show up for a reasonable number of games, and cheer lots. But not every single time.
post #138 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
I agree. Kristine - it sounds like your kids are still pretty young. At some point, when they get involved in a sport and possibly excel and definitely love it, they are not going to be okay with skipping years because mom or dad can't be at every game. My kids would MUCH rather be dropped off without me there than not play at all. It also seems like you are setting your kids up to resent one another by saying you both have to be at brother's game so sister doesn't get to participate at all. We neglect our kids equally
Yeah, this. I did swim team for several years (ages 9-13). My team did practices every evening for 2 hours, 1 hour of additional cross training during a week, and from September through May, meets almost every Saturday. The meets could last 4-5 hours.

I walked to and from practice every day, and often walked myself down to the pool on Saturday to catch a ride to a meet from a coach. My parents definitely didn't come to every meet or even most of them--they had four younger kids with things that had to be done on Saturdays as well. I still slightly resent the fact that I basically couldn't move to the next level because my mom refused to drive me to practices at a different pool with a different team, and the public bus couldn't get me there at the times I needed to be there.
post #139 of 163
If it is league policy that he has to stay, the parents should have to be there on time, find another parent to give him a ride or wait with him, or take the kid off the team.
If there is no such policy or law, I agree that an 8 yr. old will be just fine at a park. Sheesh. When my son was 6.5 last fall he had my permission to walk home from flag football after practice. I usually walked to pick him up because my 4 yr. old liked to watch, but at the very first practice I gave the coach my permission to let him walk home if I wasn't there to pick him up. He walks home from school almost every day and has all school year.
post #140 of 163
"hey dad, Jr here is a great little athlete, i'm so glad he's on our team! You should see the double he hit today.. it was awesome! ..Hey btw, I have to be somewhere after our games. What should we do about jr when the games been over for a ahlf hour and you're not here yet? Is there a number I could rreach you at? maybe you could just assume that and hour and fifteen is all he needs, then if you get here a little early you may be able to see him play a bit.. that'd be awesome. So what do you think?"

PS... Drop off is ok in my book
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