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how many times before you'd call the police? little league - Page 2

post #21 of 163
All of the daycares my dd has been at give fifteen minutes to half an hour after close and then they call the police to come get the abandoned kid. Some will also call or drop a kid from the program if it is an ongoing problem. I think it would be a good idea for him to talk to the coordinator about dropping the kid from the program or putting some other penalty on the late parents. I think that it is completely reasonable for a parent to drop a kid off for a game or practice where the activity is specifically for the child, but leaving them there for 45 minutes after the game is abandonment and should be treated as such. They also require a certain amount of payment per minute after closing time.
post #22 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellabaz View Post
I think getting the police involved is extreme. But I also don't have another solution that doesn't punish the kid instead of the parent.
That. I would hate to call the police but I don't know of any alternatives.
post #23 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuamami View Post
Ya know, I don't think parents should be expected to watch every single game that their child participates in. It's nice to go to some, but I think every single game is one of those ridiculous modern expectations. Maybe if the parent loves the sport, but still!

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I dont think thats the issue at heart. The parents are continuously dropping their child off late and not picking up on time. Thats the issue. In our area most league coaches are volunteers and have FT jobs and family the last thing they want to do is wait around an extra 45 min because a parent cant be bothered to pick their child up on time. And really that seems to be the case here, I think most people would react differently if it were say due to a car breaking down or an accident.

To the OP, surely there is an organization head. I would ask your brother to speak to them about the occurences and see if they can contact the father and let them know if the behavior continued that the child can not participate. It isnt fair to the team to have late memebers arriving and certainly not fair to the people who have to stick around until the child is picked up. I think it can be a liability issue for the organization if the coach left the child unsupervised.
post #24 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by stik View Post
...I would let the parents know that if they or another responsible adult could not be present during games and practices, their child will not be able to participate...
My DD is 7 and plays softball and soccer (we coach soccer). It's not unusual for parents to drop off for practice. Many stay, but many do not. As far as games, most players have at least one parent/guardian staying to watch. I think not sitting through practices is typical at this age.

As far as the being late thing goes, that's not acceptable and I think you can say if someone doesn't show up within 10 minutes of the end of practice multiple times, that child won't be allowed on the team...
post #25 of 163
I would've called already.

Either that or send home a notice that you'll be charging $15/hour for all babysitting and that the babysitting clock starts 10 minutes after each game or practice.
post #26 of 163
You'd have to clear it with the league, but a policy that charges the parents a few dollars per min. they are late after 10 or 15min after the end of practice was very effective when I coached. ie Practice ends at 2pm you have till 2:10 to pick your kid up after that it's a dollar a min for child care. The money can be put towards team snacks or into the league fund or something.

In fact it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a league wide policy on pick up and late parents. That's something I think your brother should bring to the league's attention.

I don't have a problem with parents dropping kids off for games or practice.
post #27 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by hillymum View Post
If this child has parents who can't be bothered to spend the time watching a game their son / daughter is in, then I would let this go. This child will remember how the coach went the extra mile and made him/ her feel welcome and part of a team. I know it's not your brothers job to babysit but if were he and could do it then I would.
But the danger here is that the kids parents will have an expectation of free baby-sitting. What if the coach has a doctor's appointment or some other obligation that can't be re-scheduled...or worse, a family emergency that he absolutely NEEDS to attend too? Considering that in this case the coach can be put under investigation or prosecuted for leaving the child alone after practice I would make it very clear to the parents that this is unacceptable. I would definitely have the director of the league contact the parents if you can. Sometimes a "higher" authority helps a lot and it will also ensure that whatever your brother does, it is in line with league rules and he won't be putting himself in any danger of accusations or disciplinary actions against him.
post #28 of 163
I don't see why an 8yo can't go to little league without mom or dad there. Yes, it would be great if a parent came, as it would show support and interest in the child. But I would not consider it necessary.

However, parents repeatedly not returning in good time to pick up their child shows complete lack of respect for everyone else. Your brother is kindly coaching this team. He is not a baby sitting service; he has his own life and responsibilities after the game.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MomOnDaEdge View Post
Having had this problem in the past, the best I can offer is what worked for me.

Once late, understandable. Twice late, okay, could be extenuating circumstances. Third time, your using me as a free babysitter and that does not fly. Unless there are extended extenuating circumstances but that's not what's going on here.

I typed up a very nicely worded letter stating very clearly when practice was over, that I had other obligations after practice and all children must be picked up within 10 minutes of practice being let out. (Depending on where you live traffic can be an issue). If a parent or someone a parent had authorized has not picked up the child by then I had no choice but to contact the authorities as I would not leave a child alone after being in my care.

Caused a tiny bit of grumbling from a select few, but it worked. HTH's
Bravo! This would be a great plan.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mattemma04 View Post
I think the parents will pull the kid from the team,or physically punish him if the parents actions result in police being called.

The parents are very unlikely to change.This kid sounds like he could use a break from his family.I would pick him up and drop him off myself.I could understand being mad if it was 5-10 kids,but it is just one boy needing a little extra from any adult who will give him some time.Consider helping him out.Season won't last long,but doing this will be something the boy remembers.
Also agreed. His parents are not likely to change. They may end up angry though, and that anger will be displaced to their son or your brother. It won't be anger or disappointment in themselves. This child may already have very narrow, limited options because of his parents.
post #29 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by hillymum View Post
If this child has parents who can't be bothered to spend the time watching a game their son / daughter is in, then I would let this go. This child will remember how the coach went the extra mile and made him/ her feel welcome and part of a team. I know it's not your brothers job to babysit but if were he and could do it then I would.
post #30 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by MomOnDaEdge View Post
Having had this problem in the past, the best I can offer is what worked for me.

Once late, understandable. Twice late, okay, could be extenuating circumstances. Third time, your using me as a free babysitter and that does not fly. Unless there are extended extenuating circumstances but that's not what's going on here.

I typed up a very nicely worded letter stating very clearly when practice was over, that I had other obligations after practice and all children must be picked up within 10 minutes of practice being let out. (Depending on where you live traffic can be an issue). If a parent or someone a parent had authorized has not picked up the child by then I had no choice but to contact the authorities as I would not leave a child alone after being in my care.

Caused a tiny bit of grumbling from a select few, but it worked. HTH's
This is definitely the way to go.

ETA: does the local LL organization have an official policy on this?
post #31 of 163
When I was 8 yo, I walked to the park all by myself.

There is an episode of Arthur where Brain's and Binky's mom are late to pick them up after a soccer game. Brain and Binky just hang out with each other while waiting. No coach stays, no one considers calling the police.

I think calling the child abandoned and calling the police is a huge over reaction.

How far from the field does the kid live? Could he just walk home. Couldn't your brother just call the parents up and talk to them. Say the current situation isn't working and talk about alternatives, such as having him travel to and from games with a teammate.
post #32 of 163
I agree that the coach needs to find out the official policy.

My dh is a middle school coach for a public school. He never leaves until the last child is picked up - it's a huge liability even though there is no official policy on this. Is it a pain? Yes. So, I understand how a volunteer coach for LL would be very frustrated.

As far as calling the police, I think this will do nothing. I used to be a public school social worker and some of our students were severely mentally handicapped. It was school policy that these particular students were not to be let off the bus unless there was a parent/guardian/etc at the home. When the adult was not home, the children were returned to school. I ended up calling the police more than once for children who were still waiting with ME at the school at 6 or 7 o'clock (school was done about 2:30). Only once did the police show up for me.

Good luck!
post #33 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post

I think calling the child abandoned and calling the police is a huge over reaction.

How far from the field does the kid live? Could he just walk home. Couldn't your brother just call the parents up and talk to them. Say the current situation isn't working and talk about alternatives, such as having him travel to and from games with a teammate.
Why is it the unpaid volunteer's responsibility to do this?

Parents, parent your kids.
post #34 of 163
Thread Starter 
interesting perspectives.

to clarify - this isn't just a practice, they have a small practice before the game (basically just throwing the ball around to each other) and then the game. so while there is a specific start time, there isn't a specific end time.

i agree that it's the poor kid who's going to suffer, but my brother has his own life and this family has messed up his schedule 3 times now (turns out it was another hour yesterday). this family and only this family out of 16 kids that play.

not every parent stays every minute each time, he doesn't have a problem with that, he has a problem with them leaving him responsible for their kid for such an extended period of time after each game. many parents leave for a while and get back towards the end of the game. this kid has shown up for 3 games and it's happened after each one.

after the first time it happened, he called the lead guy for the league (not sure of the exact title) and was told he had to stay and he was legally responsible for the kid until the parents came back. but, i don't think he got that far into the specifics because i think he assumed it was a one time / fluke thing.

now that it's a pattern, he's got a message in to the head guy to get more information and some advice on how to handle this.
post #35 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristyDi View Post
You'd have to clear it with the league, but a policy that charges the parents a few dollars per min. they are late after 10 or 15min after the end of practice was very effective when I coached. ie Practice ends at 2pm you have till 2:10 to pick your kid up after that it's a dollar a min for child care. The money can be put towards team snacks or into the league fund or something.

In fact it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a league wide policy on pick up and late parents. That's something I think your brother should bring to the league's attention.

I don't have a problem with parents dropping kids off for games or practice.
If they don't care to show up in time, are they going to pay?
post #36 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
Why is it the unpaid volunteer's responsibility to do this?

Parents, parent your kids.
The unpaid volunteer is the one uncomfortable with the situation. The parents have not told him he needs to stay there with the kid, the guy from the league did. I suppose it's really the guy from the leagues responsibility to call the parents in question, but it seems simpler for him to just call them directly instead of having it go through the league.
post #37 of 163
Not having a set end time makes it harder. How wide of a spread are we talking? Like the game could end by 12 or by 1, so telling people to get back by 12:15 is reasonable? Or the game could end between 10 and 2 so there's no good way to time getting back and most parents just come back around 10 and see how the game's progressed?

If it's the latter, a really long window, then make it a requirement to leave contact information. It's a good idea for everyone.
post #38 of 163
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Not having a set end time makes it harder. How wide of a spread are we talking? Like the game could end by 12 or by 1, so telling people to get back by 12:15 is reasonable? Or the game could end between 10 and 2 so there's no good way to time getting back and most parents just come back around 10 and see how the game's progressed?

If it's the latter, a really long window, then make it a requirement to leave contact information. It's a good idea for everyone.
it's generally two hours total. so if the game starts at 10 they are done by noon 99% of the time. if the game is a tie, it might go another half hour but they've never gone longer than that. there are rare times where the games end faster and they'd be done by 11:30, but it's much much more likely to end between 11:45 and noon.
post #39 of 163
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
The unpaid volunteer is the one uncomfortable with the situation. The parents have not told him he needs to stay there with the kid, the guy from the league did. I suppose it's really the guy from the leagues responsibility to call the parents in question, but it seems simpler for him to just call them directly instead of having it go through the league.
just my opinion - these are the kinds of parents who have no problem dropping him off, but would raise holy hell if they got back and the kid was by himself.
post #40 of 163
When my son played football one of the rules was that a parent had to stay for practice/game or have someone else responsible for the child there.
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