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how many times before you'd call the police? little league - Page 5

post #81 of 163
Yeah, something needs to be done bc it's not fair to your brother to be responsible for the kid for an extra 45 min to an hr after the game is over.

I also wonder (like a pp mentioned) if the dad even knows that the coach is required to stay w/the kid. Your brother should mention that to him next time he sees him.

I know that every kid is different, as is every neighborhood, but I really don't understand the free roaming idea for kids so young. My children know about trusting their instincts, good and bad touch, etc. but at 4 1/2 and 7 (or even 8, 9, or 10) it is absolutely not their responsibility to keep themselves safe. That's my job.

And while child abduction by a stranger is very rare, children have been victimized in other ways for centuries, and mostly by people they think they can trust. All that aside, there are a number of other things that could happen like injuries or even serious accidents. Obviously this is my opinion and it exists w/in the context of my experience so I am not saying that it's black and white, only that I don't understand.
post #82 of 163
I can't help but wonder what would happen if the child was injured in the game and his parent or guardian wasn't there and wasn't easily contacted. Poor guy, my heart just breaks for him.
post #83 of 163
What about talking to this kid's Mom? A phone call directly to the house- at a time that isn't Game/Practice designated? Seems like some mis-communication is going on, and Little League needs to have a policy related to this. Here, in California there is a "Parent Attendance" rule- practice and games included.
post #84 of 163
I read the entire thread. Whew!

I also wonder if the Dad is not aware that your brother has a legal obligation to stay with his child. I would try mentioning that first, gently. Like "Hey I am sorry, but I wasn't sure if you knew that I have to stay with your child until you pick up, as per the LL regulations." Then go from there.

Also, from the way you describe it, it sounds like this child is very upset that his parents are not there, and that is sad to me
post #85 of 163
How is the coach supposed to speak to the father? When he tried to get the father to come over to get his kid, the father screamed at the kid to run over to the car. Sounds like potential for violence if the coach tries to go over to the car to talk.

Hence, police, or at least being prepared to call the police.
post #86 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by kay4 View Post
When my son played football one of the rules was that a parent had to stay for practice/game or have someone else responsible for the child there.
That is the kind of rule that discourages families from participating and encourages unhealthy, sedentary alternatives.
post #87 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by berry987 View Post
I'm sure by 8 I will let them walk to the park alone. I certainly did when I was that age and, contrary to popular belief, it is not more dangerous now.
Agreed. We did it before cell phones, amber alert, etc.
post #88 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
That is the kind of rule that discourages families from participating and encourages unhealthy, sedentary alternatives.
???

What do you mean by this? I don't understand your reasoning.
post #89 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
That is the kind of rule that discourages families from participating and encourages unhealthy, sedentary alternatives.
It should be the kind of rule that makes people stop and take a good, hard look at the crazy, over-scheduled lifestyle they're leading that prevents them from supporting their children with their presence at sporting and other events. Being at every practice is overboard though IMO (assuming the practices are separate from the games, not right before the game as is the case in the OP's scenario). But really, parents should be at the games supporting their children.
post #90 of 163
I think your brother is being unreasonable.

It's not his job to stay with the kid. I've been a coach for youth soccer for many many years. It's his job to take care of the kid for a specific time period (in my case, I always said that I would stay for 10 minutes after the end of the game/practice). Then he releases the kid, unless the family makes other arrangements.

I had MANY kids that age walk or bike to games or practices on their own. At the end of the game I waved good-bye to them as they set off. I have no idea if they went home, to the playground or somewhere else. That was between them and their parent.

Your brother has no business trying to get the dad out of his vehicle by interfering with the instructions given to the kid. Your brother has no business implying that the dad is a bad parent for letting the kid do something your brother thinks is dangerous.

Your brother should contact the family and say what his limits are. He should decide how long after a game he's willing to stay and then tell the parents that. Then he needs to leave once it gets to that time.

We're not talking about 4 or 5 year olds here. School aged kids are allowed to walk home from school on their own, they can take the city bus on their own.

*********Please note that I personally would not do what that dad did. Once my children are in sports I will be there as much as I can. But I recognize that other people have different ideas and priorities.
post #91 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post
It should be the kind of rule that makes people stop and take a good, hard look at the crazy, over-scheduled lifestyle they're leading that prevents them from supporting their children with their presence at sporting and other events. Being at every practice is overboard though IMO (assuming the practices are separate from the games, not right before the game as is the case in the OP's scenario). But really, parents should be at the games supporting their children.
Here soccer is really big. For 8 weeks in the spring (from when the snow melts and the grass is dry until when public school lets out) the rec soccer league has 2 games a week. As an example, U8 would play M-W, and then U10 would play T-R, and then U12 would play M-W... See where that's going? If you have a couple kids, it's totally possible that you might have 2 kids each playing their game on the same nights. So, you'd have 2 kids at 2 different fields. How could 1 parent (single parents, parents with a partner who works nights, parents with younger kids at home who need to go to bed...) be at both games?

It has nothing to do with over scheduled or anything like that. I'm sure that some parents are jerks about it and could go to more games. But that's not the case all the time.
post #92 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post
It should be the kind of rule that makes people stop and take a good, hard look at the crazy, over-scheduled lifestyle they're leading that prevents them from supporting their children with their presence at sporting and other events. Being at every practice is overboard though IMO (assuming the practices are separate from the games, not right before the game as is the case in the OP's scenario). But really, parents should be at the games supporting their children.
Um, I have more than 1 child. Their extra-curriculars often conflict. Usually, my dh and I can split up and each attend one event. Not always though, because we are a 1 car family. If we had more than 2 kids, then even this solution won't work.

So any good advice on how to decide which kid actually gets to play, and which one doesn't, because all parents MUST attend every game supporting each child?

And, as I posted earlier, there are overbearing, to the point of being abusive, parents who are ostensibly "supporting their children". They aren't helping their kids at all by showing up to games.
post #93 of 163
I'm finding it more than a little funny that people are defending the right to leave the child unsupervised at the park for 45 minutes, when they'd probably flip if he was left in a locked, parked car that long.

It's even in the law of the OP's state.

Connecticut's Child Proection agency's website states:
Quote:
Connecticut law does not specify at what age a child may be left home alone. When deciding whether or not to leave a child home alone, a parent should consider the child's age.
But then the CT DMV says:
Quote:
Anyone who leaves a child under the age of 12 unattended in a vehicle long enough that it represents a substantial risk to the child's well-being, could be found guilty of a class A misdemeanor.

Should this happen between 8 p.m.-6 a.m., the charge rises to a class C felony.
post #94 of 163
I'm a little confused. I thought it was illegal in most states to leave your child home alone until they reached a certain age (like 9 or 10). Are there states where it's both legal to leave them in a park and illegal to leave them at home? Or do the rules generally match up?
post #95 of 163
Most states don't have actual age limits on how old a child can be when they are left alone. Some have recommendations, but most are only that - recommendations.

ETA:http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchke...age-limits.htm
post #96 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabearsoblessed View Post
???

What do you mean by this? I don't understand your reasoning.
I think she means that some parents wouldn't let their kids play if they had to be there at every practice and game, which means the kids would likely do less active things during those times.

For our kids, practice & game attendance is "strongly encouraged" as they really are trying to promote a family atmosphere. That said, of course some children have siblings playing on other fields and so forth that means that cannot always be there.
post #97 of 163
During three years of mandatory soccer and basketball at private school, neither of my parents ever came to ONE game. I'd say maybe 1/4 of the parents did. It never even occurred to me to be disappointed.
post #98 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post
It should be the kind of rule that makes people stop and take a good, hard look at the crazy, over-scheduled lifestyle they're leading that prevents them from supporting their children with their presence at sporting and other events. Being at every practice is overboard though IMO (assuming the practices are separate from the games, not right before the game as is the case in the OP's scenario). But really, parents should be at the games supporting their children.
It is this kind of expectation that makes us all crazy and over-scheduled.
post #99 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabearsoblessed View Post
???

What do you mean by this? I don't understand your reasoning.


I think she means that hard and fast parent attendance rules make it impossible for some/lots of families to manage.
I for instance can't register my children for recreational activities that require my presence the entire time. First of all, I have four kids all different ages and interests, second I have a home daycare. For me to drag 6 kids+ to a ballfield/tennis court/swimming pool to supervise my child (who's taking a paid for lesson) is something I can't, and don't want to do. So we just stay away from those activities.
Plus, what I really don't understand is why the coaches/or those in charge would want the parents there. Kids act completely different when their parents aren't around - the kids I deal with anyway- and usually for the better.


As for the OP's question, I really don't think the police could do a whole lot unless your brother called saying that he thinks the child may have been abandoned.
post #100 of 163
So what can the coach do in this situation? Just tell the dad that he (coach) won't be hanging around the park after practice indefinitely and let the dad take it from there?
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