Why does it seem harder the 2nd time around?

[busymama77]

I just returned back to work today after 9 weeks of maternity leave with my 2nd baby and he's all I can think about today. I cried leaving him this morning, but didn't with my first. Of course, I thought about my DS#1 all day, called several times to check on him, etc., when he started daycare... but for some reason, this time around seems to be a bit more difficult. Maybe it's because I'm back to the norm and we know that we're done having kids and the time is ALREADY starting to slip away? Or that I had to come back to work 3 weeks earlier than scheduled because we only got partial pay for 6 weeks and we thought it was going to be for 12?

I miss him so much. How have you all gotten through it? My work isn't real busy right now, so it's leaving me a bit of down time to scan thru my pics of him or stare at the one that I have on my desk.

[Magistra]

With my first, I went back to teaching at around 5 months (combo maternity leave and then summer vacation--I had to go back for end-of-year meetings, but they let me bring the baby). With #2, I've been subbing very part-time, but am applying for full-time teaching jobs that start in the fall. As much as I want to have my own classroom again, I'm also kind of sad and have absolutely no idea how we'll make this work. I think it's partly because we know this is our last and partly because we don't know about childcare yet and can't really pursue until we know we'll have the money (and there aren't really any centers that take infants where we live).

[Prairiemother]

My youngest is two, and I get emotional if I happen to see children or babies when I leave my office for lunch. I get through it by leaving ALL photos of my kids at home and by not leaving my office unless I have to. I try not to think of home when I'm at work, and when I'm home I try very hard not to think of work.

[PluggingAway]

I don't have photos of my children at work either...much too emotional. Hugs to you busymama77..it certainly isn't easy. Returning to work 12 weeks after my youngest was born threw me into a personal tailspin that had me desparate and miserable. It was a time of serious soul searching and reflection. I considered part-time work, but thankfully I wasn't hired. My little guy is 17 months old now, and we are down-right happy with me working full-time. I do get homesick though. What helped me tremendously was changing our childcare situation. I still believe that the best thing for my children is that they be with their mother, but if that can't happen, I'm so grateful that they have our beloved care provider.