post #21 of 21
I thought it was illegal for adults to have phone sex with minors. Someone locally was recently prosecuted over it here. I imagine it depends on the details.

We have always been extremely big on the idea of not giving out personal info or emails to anyone who you don't already know, it's always been a condition of independent computer use. When we have had problems--which we did in a certain inappropriately-handled and destructive long distance relationship and some accounts created without permission--we restricted use based upon simply needing to be responsible with a privilege to have that privilege. We learned to be vigilant about what was happening, ultimately we handled it well enough that the sneaky things became less attractive and she found better things to do online and now things are kept more open. Trust has been rebuilt to re-earn various privileges quite a few times here.

FWIW I own a bookstore, and we sell these type of books but for us the point of the teen section is that it contains some very edgy content these days and it is very much separate from children's. We have a mature content label on the entire section so parents don't shop there for their "advanced" reading level 10yos. 13yo is a little young for some things in that section. But every parent is different and we do more advisory than most bookstores or libraries from what I have seen. We still don't stop people from buying what they choose. There is a lot of content dealing with self-destructive behavior, suicide, drugs, and not-so-healthy sexual relationships that is pretty complex being written for "young adult" and freely offered by libraries and bookstores. I like my dd to think about these very real scenarios in her mind rather than in action and consider what she thinks of it all BUT some of it makes me very uncomfortable and the amount of it now offered is overwhelming. The stereotypical teenage culture of sex and drugs and pathology is being fed somehow by all of this, some of the negativity be affirmed and held dear as part of what they are identifying with. That said, gradually teens become fully independent, and their relationship with the world is no longer ours to design/filter/control and it's just between them and the world with us simply acting as support. Between 13 and 15 our dd has changed a lot in this regard. Mostly for the wiser, often by a rough road, but I feel good about her ability to face the world as she claims her adulthood. Best wishes for you!