So annoyed with the specialists!!

[tngirl11]

I hope you guys don't mind if I just vent for a second! I've been seeing various specialists here and there since my 20 weeks u/s showed an anomaly in my baby's brain. It seems like every time we go they find some new thing to worry about--enlarged kidneys, a hand deformity, some issues with the heart. I swear they barely even look at his brain anymore! Pretty much everything that has come up has been something that "might be serious but could be nothing of concern", which always makes me wonder why they should even bring it up. I do understand why they do, but it still makes me wish we didn't have to keep looking in the first place.
So it's all been very frustrating, but I think today really sent me over the edge. At my last u/s at the maternal fetal medicine place that I've been going to they decided that one of the valves in the baby's heart was leaking very badly, which caused them to freak out and tell me that I was no longer allowed to deliver at the midwifery center where I was planning to deliver. Today I went for an u/s at a pediatric cardiologist's office. When the cardiologist finally read the results and met with us, it turned out that the valve that is leaking was not the one that they originally told us, and it's only just barely leaking. The cardiologist's words were, "I don't see anything that concerns me too much."
So not only did the maternal fetal medicine place get us all worked up for nothing, they were completely wrong in their diagnosis! I know people make mistakes, and that's understandable, but my DH and I are so tired of the roller coaster ride they keep taking us on. It just doesn't seem necessary. Fortunately, we've only got a few weeks to go now. We have always had more of a "let's wait and see when he actually gets here and go from there" kind of attitude.
Okay, I'm all done! Just needed to get that off of my chest after today!

[KempsMama]

I can't imagine how stressful this must be for you! Vent away, anytime!

[CorasMama]

I've so totally been where you are! From week 12 to about week 28, it was just one concern or another coming up, in addition to the known issue (in our case, a Giant Omphalocele.) The good news is, a lot of these concerns (like your baby's heart issue, or kidney stuff - we had that, too) can and do frequently resolve in utero. Several of our scary issues (concerns about the heart, diaphragm, kidneys, and an ascites) have all resolved themselves.

It sucks to go through this. But knowledge is power, and being able to be prepared, even if it means not being able to deliver where you want (yeah, we're there, too!) is so much better than being caught unawares!

Take it easy on yourself and the specialists. Ultrasound diagnosis is not only difficult, but a moving target, as the fetus develops and grows. And if you feel the need for second or third opinions, get them. We have. And find someone to talk to, if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed. Our hospital's MFM section has a psych attached to the clinic directly, and she's been very helpful.

[NicolleLynne]

I feel for you! My husband and I experienced only a fraction of what you have and it was definitely very stressful and emotionally trying. At 10 weeks, my little one's intestines were in the cord, which the perinatologist said could be a concern. At 12 weeks, the intestines were out of the cord. At 20 weeks, her stomach bubble was very small, again the peri was concerned, at 21 weeks it was normal... In my case, there were no mistakes made, I could see what the specialists were seeing, the issues, as CorasMama said, resolved on their own, which seems to be a fairly common occurrence.

Like you, I've often found myself wondering if all the testing and ultrasounds are worth it. Certainly, I want to be prepared for anything that might compromise baby's health or effect our birthplan but when I think of all the stress, the sleepless nights and endless googling of scary, scientific terms, I don't know... I wouldn't want to go back to the days before all the technology, I'm sure countless, precious lives have been saved by it - but, there have been times I've found myself envying the mamas of yesteryear and their test-free pregnancies.

I wish you and your little one all the best!

[buckeye_bebe]

Disclaimer - I'm disabled, and part of my disability had the potential to cause grave issues with my kidlet.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Yes, YOUR pregnancy. Not the doc's. Not the ultrasound's. Yours.



The first OB I saw said get thee to the best high-risk MFM practice in the state. The MFM practice routinely said BABY MIGHT HAVE XYZ! WE MUST MANAGE EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR PREGNANCY!

But in reality, dear poster, every visit was nothing more than normal. Every. Single. One. I protested. And they stepped down off their pedestal for a moment and became human. For a moment. They all admitted what we all knew, but were too beaten down by 'the man' to admit. That is what they do. A high-risk practice does a lot of test. Often. And often, they find a high risk mother or fetus has a normal pregnancy and delivery. Yep, low risk being treated high-risk. That is what they told me before getting back on their pedestal.

I stopped going.

It wasn't worth the stress.

Yes, super high risk die at any time mom and babe stopped going to the three times a week measurement checks, fluid checks, NST's, whatever. The stress was going to kill me if nothing else.

But that isn't to say there isn't a place for high risk MFM perinatologists.

I feel confident that you will be able to determine for yourself what level of care you need, and what level of care you want from your provider. The ultrasounds might not be too reassuring now, but taking good care of yourself is all you can do right now. Sure, they can do fetal surgery, fetal MRI, or intrauterine medicine, but there would have to be a solid indication for that. And from your post, doesn't sound like they have identified any specific issues. Yet. And I hope they don't. I will continue to hope that and keep you in my thoughts, because you need support from other moms, honest moms.

Keep up the good work, the good work of growing your baby, no matter what the outcome.

An ultrasound cannot measure your love for your unborn.

[Beltane]

Wow ~ I can't imagine the stress some of you are (or have) gone through! Just last night I felt a bit sad because I didn't do a 20 week ultrasound and I never got to 'see' my baby. Now I guess we made the right choice - I don't think DH and I would have handled the stress nearly as well as you mama's have!

[RedOakMomma]

We've been through a pregnancy with medical issues, too. It's such a difficult time and rollercoaster. Hold tight to your dh, stay on the same page if you can, and wait for the day your baby is born...wishing you a joyous birth.